I’ve been feeling like a straight up loser lately. I’ve been reluctantly comparing myself to others around my age. I don’t feel like a normal person.
Who else is around the age of 30, still lives with parents, no partner, and has a job that doesn’t pay enough for you to support yourself?
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Sorry dude. Hope it gets better for you.
The world has gotten stupidly expensive. It happens more than you may think. Even people with partners are living with family.
I only recently moved out in my mid-30s thanks to a generous friend who charges rent I can mostly handle paying. I was semi-managing before but with the escalating economic situation here in the US, it’s getting rougher. I’m struggling to find the energy to date and find dateable partners as well. It is NOT just you. Times are tough by design because struggling people are easier for the elites to control.
Comparison is the thief of joy
A lot of us in the same boat
31yo
Could be losing my job soon
Haven’t been in a relationship for going on 7 years now
Everyone my age has kids and are married with mortgages
Only one friend
Life is shit and then you die. You just gotta play the cards you were dealt and find joy in the small things
Just turned 27 and make over double minimum wage, but I have cats, and an apartment is impossible without an hour commute or barely scraping by paycheck to paycheck. It sucks!
It really isn’t a big deal. It’s common nowadays.
That said, independence is possible depending on how hard you want to work. It doesn’t take that much more than what you’re likely already doing to find an entry level job and work your way up/show interest in a management position. They WILL promote willing people. No you won’t get wealthy. But you can make a decent living off of management rolls depending on the company and how high you go. But they’ll train anyone willing and capable.
Hell I still work two jobs but I haven’t lived at home since 17. I have however lived with partners in the past. And I will choose busting my ass/independence every time, personally, vs being dependent on housing. It’s attainable for you but requires stepping out of the comfort zone you’re in at work and broadening the jobs you’re willing to do.
If you’re not willing to change anything and don’t mind, then it’s really a non issue. If it’s bothering you, I’d start working towards small attainable goals (saving money, budgeting, looking at apartments near work, etc) and challenging yourself a bit more career wise. Believe in yourself you have to when you’re living independently. Look into sharing your thoughts and progress with a therapist if that’s something that interests you. Things like that helped me a lot. No one else is going to make a change but you.
In most if the world that’s the norm.
No offense but It’s pretty damning to be living with parents around 30. It will halt you from finding good relationships, reduce your self worth, make you feel like a loser as you posted. You need to move out of your parent’s place at minimum and need to have an action plan in place of how you’re going to do that.
I’m not in your position but would be willing to have a DM chat to try to help you figure out a way to get out of this position. If there’s a will there’s a way and the sooner you get there the more your life will improve.
You’re the only person that can change that for yourself, and that likely starts by changing almost everything you’re currently doing.
Good luck.
I’m 31, unemployed, and living with my parents. I’m working on improvement every day, it can happen! You’re only a loser if you have no desire/effort to improve. Shit happens. 🤷♀️
You need multiple sources of income to make it, create side hustles and you will be alright
How much money are you saving?
personally think there is no issue with living with parents until you get married. You are saving a lot of money
🙋♀️
44 here. It’s hard out there but I’m doing my best
34F self employed my work has slowed down alot because the cost of living is ridiculous here in Australia.
I’ve actively been looking for a guy but I keep getting ghosted which has caused me to put on over 10kg now I feel gross about myself.
I’m now at home doing nothing with my life – applying g for other jobs everyday it’s been 6 months and I’m still unemployed hard to see the silver lining at this point – I have no friends either 🙃
I only have a place to live bc my parents bought me a place. I barely get by on my salary – actually who am I kidding – I don’t. Often ask for “loans” from family. Not married. Have a dog.
I have three of those. I can’t get a job.
Our daughter with a degree in biology & student loans is still with us at 28yo but fun, loving & earning an income- not enough to live independently bc of student loans but she is a winner
I stopped feeling like a normal person a long time ago.
I’m 30 with a house, spouse, kid, and a high-paying career but I guarantee that I’m not happier or healthier than you. I very often find myself wishing I could move back in with my parents and work a warehouse job. I think we all compare ourselves to eachother and the “grass is always greener” cliche really applies to so much in life. I love my life and my family and I understand that I’m incredibly lucky to be in my situation but fuck man, I’m tired.
I keep begging my son, his wife & their baby to move in. Rent their house it’s so much more reasonable! We don’t really need a 5000 sq foot house for the 2 of us! I can watch the baby. It boggles my mind that they would rather struggle than do it.
Lots of people still live at home at 30, and for plenty of reasons! Where I live rent is insane and even if you make $$$$ you still need a roommate or a significant other. If your relationship with your parents is good and your home life is healthy don’t rush to move out. Use the time at home to figure out how to earn more to support yourself in the future and enjoy the extra time with your parents. They won’t be here forever. 30 years from now you might look back and count yourself very lucky.
You are holding down a job, be proud of yourself.❤️
What are you doing to try to get a better job? Looking at your post history, you actually live in the same area I do. You are leaving clubs at 4am, apparently still hanging out at JMU (post about Lola’s Deli), you totaled your car, have debts in collections, and so on.
What are you trying to do to better your situation? Yes, the DMV is expensive, but a lot of jobs also pay more because of the cost of living here. Do you actually want to go into IT? If so, you have to start at the bottom with a help desk position with a large company who offers tuition reimbursement, the chance to sponsor you for a security clearance, and in-house certs. I don’t think you have a degree because you’ve not mentioned it. When have you been doing for work since you graduated high school or college? Are you tailoring your resume to meet requirements for entry level positions?
I moved somewhere, have lots of debt and my job prospects all fell through so now I’m just sitting on my hands
Man after reading the struggles 30-40 year olds have gaining independence from their parents is super depressing. I have a son my oldest and he’s going to be 41. He is employed by USPS but it’s only a part time gig. He’s hoping to get a regular everyday job. At the same time I have another younger son who went to college graduated with honors and is in management at his job and makes really good money. He lives with his girlfriend and is going to have a kid in October making me a grandfather for the first time. He moved out at 17 and only briefly returned home because of a job loss but quickly found the job he currently has and is independent. It’s like a tale of two cities the way that they are different. I have wanted to boot my oldest out for 10 years but I know he won’t make it so I reluctantly let him stay. I feel he is not motivated enough to get out on his own. He also shares the same struggles others in that age group with dating and making friends. He is saving money but I don’t know how he’s going to make it without full time work? Maybe I’m an enabler and don’t have the heart to kick him to the curb. I do know that I’m now 71 and moved out at 18 years old and only returned to my folks after getting out of the Army for 6 months. Got out and have never been back home. I’m hopeful though he will find a way to gain the independence he needs. I believe once he does it, his life will change and all the things he may want that he currently does not have now will come to him. Overall though I sympathize with all the young people out there because it is a lot harder today than when I started out. Don’t give up on yourself, because it will get better once you are standing in your own place.
35, live with my mother, brother, sister, and her 3 kids. Just recently came out of a 16-year anxiety hell, and I realised I’m now in another hell I need to escape.
I have 2 jobs, take extra hours, desperately want to move out of this house because it’s a nightmare and so are the people in it, I’ve been on a list to rent anywhere for about a year, I’m a single guy with a minimum wage job, so it’s basically impossible for me to rent anywhere off the local council, so I need to get a 3rd permanent job so I can rent privately which is more expensive, so until then, out one hell, into another hell.
I’ll escape one day. 🤣
Me.
31m, single, work a crappy unarmed security guard job. I have money saved up, but it’s not enough to live on my own. Going to keep saving up money while living with dad.
its not that weird, but u gotta play you cards right. Atleast if u live in a western country everything still is possible. i’m 27, with visible tattoos and black with no education. But im able to make enough to support myself. Sometines things are not possible because kf the emviroment u are in, u could also see if u could find a job in a different city that maybe would pay you more.
Its about looking for chances and not losing hope
I‘m around 30, live (again) with my parents, no partner and have no job but will start university to pursue medicine in september.
Am I a failure to go for a profession that fulfills me, has a real purpose and actually is the most difficult one out there?
My 40 y/o son. There is always room for my kids.
Not 30, but I’ll be there in just a few more years, and I feel exactly the same, but I have no support unfortunately. I’ve always lived with, and later taken care of a grandparent (to be vague), but they unfortunately passed away very suddenly, fairly recently. I wasn’t in a position where I felt comfortable affording school, so I dropped out after 3-4ish years of being a part time student, but now I feel even worse off, like I should have just put on my bootstraps and went all in. I wanted to join the military, but between returning asthma, and a long history of depression, I don’t meet the minimum qualifications. Like you, I feel behind, and I’ll probably be living in my car soon. I think the reality is, there’s a lot more like us than we think, but we just see the people immediately around us.
Yeah kind of looser tbh, why havent your parents kicked you out already?