I am a 21 year old male that is a complete extrovert and enjoys talking to be people and just in general running my mouth and voicing my opinion. As I got older and was more opened up to the world outside of my family, whenever I compliment one of my male friend that while expression seems to light up.
Especially this one time I was talking to a friend over discord in a VC who I’ve known for 2.5 years. He wasn’t having the best day so we were just gaming in VC and talking for a few hours and he asked me to rate some pictures a few outfits and a pick of his overall body. When I was finished with the rating he tone change the rest of a night was a lot light and up beat.
So back to my question, do men just not get a lot of compliments and when they do they just light up?
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I was told I had a nice butt when I was 13.
I’m 50.
I still think about that.
No
55 divorced. Decent looking.
Completely invisible.
Not really, men dont usually compliment men unless theyre hella real. Women avoid complimenting men because they dont wanna signal romantic interest that way. I dunno about other genders though, im fruity asf so i compliment my boys all the time
From friends? I guess, the internet say there isnt ever a compliment for them. l took care to develop a stable caring relationship with all my friends so thats that
From outside that? Not really barely ever
Someone complimented my feet in high school and I think about that anytime I put socks on. 38.
Other than my significant other… When I was single… Never.
No, it’s rare as compared to for women.
People rarely compliment men to their faces. I’ve been complimented behind my back a lot – I understand second hand I’m viewed as good looking with good hair and other positive attributes. People seldom say it.
I think there’s different socialization around this, especially in male male interactions. (The overwhelming majority of compliments have come to me from gay men.)
There was a post discussing this a few years ago. A woman was complaining about how when she goes out in public, men catcall her. A lot of men responded that they wish someone would notice them. That men basically get treated like crap 24/7 and that’s just how it is for guys. Then they mentioned that a single compliment they got maybe 10 years ago would last them an entire decade. They would hold onto it and cherish it for years. And the women in the thread and the gay guys expressed surprise at how few compliments straight men get. Apparently, women and gay guys are used to getting and giving a lot of compliments. For straight men it’s a desert.
Good thing you asked this after I met my GF lol.
Gay men do, we are much friendlier, loving and expressive than hetero men. Our communities shower each other in praise, love and encouragement. It’s awesome. We don’t have to deal with the stigma of showing emotion and vulnerability.
I get one or two usually related to my hair. Other wise no.
I want a dress shirt, vest & tie everyday. I have a long well groomed beard & wax my stache everyday. I get compliments on one of them every few days as a 50 year old fat balding man who keeps his hair as short as the razor will go without shaving it. I LOATHE shaving….
Nope, which is why on the extremely rare occasion we do get one it sticks with us for decades.
In the last three years, I was complimented on a shirt twice. I used to get backhanded compliments from my ex before that.
Correct
I don’t know if this makes a difference, but as a black man, this hasn’t been an issue for me in my community. We’re constantly complimenting each other.
I get compliments on my blue eyes
Attractive men do, less attractive men don’t. Same applies to women. So sick of these types of posts.
Go to a gym that actually has guys working on goals and you might see the most positive masculinity possible.
Women don’t really give compliments to men because of the potential consequences. I don’t know why men don’t give compliments to other men, women give compliments to other women all the time.
I get a lot of compliments for my voice, and for being kind and caring and easy to talk to. From both aisles. I have friends who never get compliments (outside of our friend circle) but they deserve to get them.
So I think it might be some sort of charisma that determines if you get compliments or not? And I’m not talking about getting compliments for you actually charisma, just that if you are charismatic, people might feel more comfortable to pay you compliments about things.
I was told once i had nice eyes at 21 i am 42 i never get them even from my own wife. Women do not do this ever. If i am nice and stuff people thank me or will say something nice. But nobody ever just says you look good or nice hair or i like your shoes or something to guys ever especially not women.
Only if you are squishy and androgynous.
THis is either AI or someone dense enough not to see this question asked so many fucking times
I remember every single compliment I’ve ever received like it was yesterday. If I ever feel down I remember those few compliments and it boosts me up.
I’m 36. I can count the times I’ve been complimented on both hands. And thats for everything. Most of those were from ex gfs.
I have a solid beard. 99% of the compliments I have had have been beard related from other men (usually bearded)
Yeah I’m not used to it myself, it doesnt help that half the time people only do it when they want a favor out of me.
I was told I have a nice smile at 15, I’m 24 and I still smile the exact way I did when I was told that. Kinda sad when I say that out loud lol
My ex wife never complimented me once in 15 years. I think she saw being nice as a sign of weakness. Or she just thought I sucked 🤔
Nope.
Nope. Last time I got a compliment I was like a baby and don’t remember it.
It’s easier just to accept that getting compliments as a guy won’t happen.
According to my husband, no one ever compliments him ever.
Not really. I just realized I sometimes wear specific band shirts when I know I’m going to see certain friends because I know they’ll probably compliment it. Damn that’s sad lol.
Its my take that compliments arent given to guys nearly as much as women. Especially BY women because a lot of guys take that as flirting and try to move in on the girl after.
A woman said I looked “very handsome, the bald head suits you” some 17 ish years ago, I still repeat her words to myself every time I get a haircut.
Few and far between
You will never get complimented again. This is okay – as men, we got the long end of the stick for a lot of stuff, so… just take this one silently.
I regularly get compliments from women at work on my clothes. Always it’s something my wife bought me. When I wear something that I bought… nothing.
I’m 43 and straight, if an obviously gay guy hits on me I get super excited and it makes my month.
It’s complicated, but overall, no not at all.
Most compliments I get are from gay guys, whom I have nothing against, I just don’t swing that way. Just my observation, but I think many women are afraid that if they compliment a man, the man will immediately take it as, “Oh, she’s totally interested in me!” which could put her in an awkward or even dangerous situation. So as fewer and fewer women offer compliments, the more and more that idea actually holds some weight, and therefore women offer even fewer compliments. It’s a self sustaining downward spiral which results in very few women complimenting men. Which if we’re honest, while it does really brighten my day if a friend compliments me too, we’re at the point where if a woman compliments a man, that’s a few in a lifetime kind of thing.
As for OP’s case specifically, a lot of men offer compliments to their friends in a way that could be seen as shit-talking but is actually endearing. So I’d guess if you’re really straight forward it would be a change of pace for some people. Not saying that’s a bad thing. It obviously brightened your friend’s day <3
They do not, typically they get compliments and flowers at their funeral and thats it, not that they want flowers but just gifts in general they do not get
Its part of why a lot of modern women have inflated egos, they constantly get compliments, its also why men commit suicide much more as they dont feel appreciated, desired, wanted, etc;
Its also why THE GAME works, where you neg/ insult them, they get told they are beautiful hundreds of times so when you are the dude that insults her instead, it gets a reaction, she wants to prove herself to you know cause your not just another boring complimenter
There was those toxic feminist youtubes going around where they would film themselves going through the streets saying they were HARASSED but it was mostly compliments and hellos or how are yous, there were a few creeps but the majority were not
So some youtuber females decided to do it to males to try and prove that men would hate how they are towards women, well they were all appreciative of the attention, even if she made inappropriate comments they still enjoyed them
No, they do not. But I think things are getting somewhat better
Men generally don’t compliment men. Women generally don’t compliment men that they aren’t interested in because they don’t want to give the guy that they’re not interested in the wrong idea. So that means men go through life without many compliments, and hence it’s a big deal when they do get one. And even then they will usually discount it in their mind as the other person was just being polite.
I got told I had a nice shirt in City Walk in Universal Studios Florida in around 2010. Still makes me smile
I was having a god awful month when a woman I had feelings for told me she liked my smile. That’s the sole reason I didn’t end my own life that day.
Hahahahahhahahaha…no.
I get the occasional one from my mom but that’s my mom. I remember years ago an aunt I rarely visit said I grew up into quite a handsome Frenchman. I also remember getting catcalled by a carful of young sounding women. Not sure if it was honest or just trolling but that was approximately 15 years ago. Sometimes my coworkers refute my comments about my hair since I’m very salt n pepper, saying it looks good on me. Again, not sure if honest or saying it just to say it.
Only time any of my parents (I have 4) ever told me they were proud of me was my dad when I graduated high school.
I remember like it was yesterday
I do all the time
Not really no. It’s like a bi-weekly occurrence for me, which is way above the reported average.
No. Nor even from wife. Not often from previous girlfriends..
Well, considering I absolutely loathe being described physically, the only compliments I really care about (and commonly get from my wife and friends) are about things I do and my personality, not what I look like. My wife also seems to recognize that I feel deeply uncomfortable being described so she’ll simply say she likes, say, my upper arm, with no other context provided nor asked for, because even that’s like “thanks and please stop there” from me.
And it’s not that I don’t like my own body, it’s the body I have, I feel like I’m meant to have it, I just dislike the idea of people looking at me long enough to describe me in small or great detail. I’d rather be fun, funny, silly, weird, a good dad, a nice person, or anything other than being described as handsome. I get the former from people more often than I don’t, and thankfully I don’t get the latter a whole hell of a lot. I would rather be straight up hated than be described physically in detail.
I’m hoping that helps answer that question though it probably doesn’t.
40s male and i dont think i have ever gotten a compliant for any other woman ever ither than my wife… and half the time i dont beleive her
A girl told me I had nice eyebrows in gym class when I was in high school.
I’m 32 and still hold onto that compliment for dear life.
Rarely until my fiance. And it they almost always come from other men.
I used to compliment men all the time, as much as I did with other women. But the compliments got misconstrued as romantic interest several times, so now I no longer do. 🙁
My bf blushes so hard and smiles so big when I compliment him. Early in our relationship, his reaction surprised me but now I understand it. I don’t hold back. He always looks great and he’s such a wonderful person.
I was told I had beautiful eyelashes once by a girl when I was 22 when I was working out. I’m 41 now. Last compliment I received. Now everything in the world is my fault because I’m a man 😂 it’s been one hell of a ride I tell ya.
I think complements take different forms and can get a little…cryptic. Like, one guy I work with asked if I’m ex-military – I’m not. He was a little surprised and said I just seemed that way. I’m pretty sure that was his idea of a compliment.
It’s rare for men when most of us just see ourselves as average, but when we get compliments for our looks (clothes, face, other appearances), it’s a moral boost.
A couple of Halloween ago, I dressed as Michael Myers while wearing the mask being on most of that night. A group of women were being flirtatious at a bar I go to, and I ended up chatting with some of these women with the mask on. When 1 of them wanted to see my face, they gasped and even said out loud I was handsome.
No, we do not. I’m unusually intelligent, so it provoked laudatory responses when I was younger (since it was flashy when I was in school). My wife is downright effusive with praise, I suppose, but it always feel perfunctory to me (even though I’m sure she means it when she says something). Meanwhile…
…a dental hygienist once called a minor dental deformity of mine ‘cute.’ That was probably 10 years ago, maybe 15, and here I am remembering it on reddit. I’d been self-conscious of it until that day, and in that small way, she’s actually changed my life since.
…a close friend of mine–a man, at that–told me a few years ago that, between my wife and myself, he thought I was the more attractive (in a general sense). I still think he’s wrong, but I also think he meant it, so it’s kinda gone to my head.
And I struggle to find a third example. There might some selection bias at play here; the compliments I remember have had a serious and lasting impact on my self-image, which kind of implies I’m simply forgetting the ones that didn’t affect me in the same way. Strictly speaking, I think I have received compliments, and probably honest and heartfelt ones, that didn’t make the list. I also think the list is skewed toward my appearance since, historically, that’s the thing I least like about myself. I play board and video games, so I’m sure I’ve been complimented on my game play at times, and I’m also an amateur game designer who’s had some minor, localized success in that regard.
So, your post suggests by ‘compliments’ you meant ‘on appearance,’ in which case I believe they are only rarely given to men. Beyond that, I don’t know that men are complimented any less than women, and I at least vaguely suspect we’re complimented more (which is an issue, but not one you’ve brought up).
I find that, from my experience, the type of compliment in question is important. I think that it’s easy to forget insincere and impersonal compliments. I’m not exactly going to remember someone saying something about my shoes, and I do get rather frequent work related compliments that usually don’t mean much to me.
I do find that I get very few compliments that I’d recognize as actual compliments. Supposedly I’m considered to be rather physically attractive, yet it’s extremely rare for me to get a compliment about my appearance that isn’t about my clothes (gee, you sure did say a nice thing about my shirt… Something that is separate from me) or by drunk old ladies (it’s kinda disturbing).
I do very often get compliments about my skills and motivations and generosity and such. It’s usually pretty difficult to distinguish between me being complimented as a person vs merely for my role. A lot of people say very nice things about the nonprofit organization I work for without realizing that aside from brushing shoulders with CEOs, I basically do and plan all the things.
And compliments given in appreciation for service usually aren’t the same to me. They rarely can be, but usually just aren’t. There would have to be at least some appreciation of me as a person. And I’ve seen two extremes on this… One person saying how great I was for caring and my personal efforts changed their lives and they remember me at the store two years later… Good compliment. Somebody just saying a nice thing because my job had me help them with a thumb, and they’re just gonna forget me and ignore the fact I’m a person and not merely a role serving them… Not great.
I get them when I kind of spotlight myself. Like people complimented my hair when I dyed it unnatural colors, I’ve gotten compliments that I’m in shape while working out or at an active hobby, people comment on my tan when I show more skin. I’ve had compliments on my manicured nails or polished toes.
When I don’t do these things or show them off then I rarely get get any compliments .
When I grew out my hair and started taking care of it, I started getting a few compliments about it, usually from family.
But before that, never.
When I was 40 I started building a house for my wife and me. In NOVA. It’s expensive there. I’m an Engineer and most of my friends were Engineers too (or Techs). After work we were working. On weekends we were working.
It was the hardest thing I ever did.
Previously I had helped them build their houses or helped them do renovations.
I probably forced all of them to invest in their 401k’s and they thank me to this day.
When we had the ‘close in’ party 12 guys and their families showed up. I had 5 acres so it was a party.
My wife was shocked that so many people showed up to help. Why would they help YOU? She couldn’t grasp that they were my friends. They all wanted to learn and participate.
We divorced before the house was finished and she didn’t want any part of it. Nice.
I helped my friends with kitchen cabinets and a lot of trim work. All kinds of electrical work.
So that was my best compliment. Why would they help YOU? I didn’t have the heart to tell her they were helping US.
Men may get fewer compliments compared to women but we do get it. It may depend on how social you are. Compliment can be anything from looks, style, intelligences, anything.
2 years ago a random woman stopped me and told me she loved my outfit. I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
No compliments – just requirements.
When I was 12 I went to Temple with my mom and sister. After the service, a wall opened and food and dancing went on for hours. A girl my age asked me to dance and I said “no” because I was shy and scared. I’m 58 now and that “no” still feels like one of the worst decisions I’ve made.
No not really
The number of compliments I’ve had can be counted on 1 hand, and I’m 40.
this year ive gotten maybe 30-40 on looks
As boys grow into men, they get fewer and fewer compliments.
The last time I was given a compliment without strings attached was when a girl told me I smelled nice. We determined it was my deodorant. I have never changed deodorants since. I am 40 years old. This compliment was given to me when I was 15
I’m a very good looking man who gets compliments all the time – in person and on apps. The apps blow up!
I definitely think men receive them far less than women though.
I’ve become conditioned to receive them so when I do I just say “thanks”.
Just because somebody compliments you doesn’t automatically mean they want a romantic connection with you though.
I am a women but I compliment my father, my brother’s , my guy best friends a lot. So, it depends with whom you are surrounded with. I even compliment strangers online. I know men are not very used to it. I used to compliment my ex a lot for all the little things.
Girl at school told my blue shirt went well with my eyes.
All my shirts still blue. I’m 47.
No. We don’t.
Even our partners rarely acknowledge us in a proper way.
I get compliments often.
Like 12 people complimented my new haircut couple weeks ago. Quiet itritating. Besides that? Maybe twice a year?
A few times a year if you’re lucky
If it happens, it tends to be behind closed doors. For women specifically, complimenting a guy she doesn’t know can have consequences, so it’s seen as something of a safety issue.
Nope. Two years ago a women said I had nice hair, I’d just had my hair cut so that made me happy, then recently a drunk women told my friend I was handsome.
So one compliment every couple of years. So I cherish what I get, even if it’s just off-hand comments from drunk strangers and friendly cashiers in a shop.
Probably depends on the social circle. In my gaming group of middle aged men we give compliments, insult each other and sing and are nice to each other. I don’t think we’re a typical gang of dudes though, we’re all flawed in some way so we can connect on that. Sometimes we have very deep conversations about feelings and stuff. But most of the time it’s light hearted bullshit.
I honestly can’t remember the last time.