I (22F) matched with 28 year old guy on hinge. We have a date planned for this week but now I’m wondering is the age gap too big. I just graduated college and I feel that I might be too immature or child like…..
I (22F) matched with 28 year old guy on hinge. We have a date planned for this week but now I’m wondering is the age gap too big. I just graduated college and I feel that I might be too immature or child like…..
Comments
That’s fine, the person matters more than the age.
Why do you consider yourself immature or child-like? To me, six years is not a large gap. If you are interested in him, go on the date and see how you feel after that.
Half the age plus 7 always seems pretty accurate.
Known plenty of other guys that are 25-30 who still act like 18 year olds.
It is fine. It is the person not the gap
It’s large enough to be worth keeping your eyes open for an unbalanced dynamic, based on your income and life experience/stages, or future timelines. The age difference could contribute to you two not being able to get on the same page. But there are lot of other reasons for that too, and age may not be one of ’em!
I wouldn’t panic over it. It’s fine to have a first date and see how you feel.
Nah, that’s fine.
Most important thing is that he respects and treats you as any equal adult. Given the age gap he COULD be looking for someone young nieve to manipulate, but that’s by no means a guarantee, just as likely he could be seeking someone with youthful positivity and adventurous attitude.
Listen to your gut if something pops up on your intuition radar that says “ohhhhhh, this is why women his age want nothing to do with him” listen to that. Beware of sob stories constant sob stories, some predators disguise as prey
I wasn’t dating 28 year olds at 22 but most of my friends were about that old
From a guy’s perspective, you could very easily be more mature than a 28m as a 22f.
It’s fine, but it’s also smart of you to be on the lookout for a power imbalance. Just be careful.
I think its too big a gap. Personally i think if you take the age gap number and minus those from each age and 1 side is a minor, the gap is too big. If both are minors and 1 isnt in high school, gap is too big.
So here, if you take the gap, 6 years, from your age 22-6=16 and his 28-6=22. Its now super creepy.
This is just my own personal opinion and a decision factor I’ve made on it
Dated a 28 yr old when I was 20. We were on and off for about 7 years. Didn’t work out to be forever, in the end, but I don’t regret any of it. Reddit has become ultra-orthodox in recent years when it comes to age gaps, which inherently disregards all the non-age related context that makes people potentially compatible. I say If you can find love, grab it.
I dated a 30 year old when I was 21. A lot of people thought that was a crazy age gap (and in retrospect it is) but I was mature for my age and he was right on target for his, so we were a good match. We’ve been married 15 years now. The key is he never took advantage of me and there was never a power imbalance.
The main thing to keep a close eye on is controlling behaviors and power imbalances.
I think it’s always worth at least trying it out and seeing how it goes. It really just depends on the people. Like I went on a date with a 22yo (I was 25 at the time) and I could just tell we were in different stages of life/maturity level.
Keep an eye for him trying to act like an authority figure over who you SHOULD be, but if youre having fun, then enjoy your time. Focus on growing in whatever direction YOU want to grow.
It’s not alarming in itself but honestly it’s not ideal
If you’re out of college I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You’re both are in the same stages of life. You’re out of school early in your careers and are ready for whatever the next stage in life brings
It depends more on the people than the number. I would go on the date and see how it went, and then pay attention to what happens after. If he starts love bombing you, or if he talks about moving in together really fast, or something like that, then I would stay away. A guy like that actively wants someone who’s a little naive about the world so he can take advantage of them.
Another thing to watch for is that you who might be at different life stages right now. Is he looking at turning 30 and thinking about getting married?
It may all be fine, but keep your eyes open.
when you’re on a dating app and you’re a young woman, no matter what you set the max age to, the max age will find you. if you’re max age was 30 there’d be 30 year olds liking you. if your max age was 70 there’d be 70 year olds liking you. the power is in your hands to decide what “too old” means to you before matching or chatting. at this phase in your life it sounds like six years a big deal.
do you think you’d be compatible and feel comfortable with someone six years older? do you see there being a power imbalance if you live at home, and have less money? do you see those imbalances changing soon or do you expect to be at different places in your life for a while? if you’ve had a pattern of age gap relationships in the past, what work have you done to heal and reflect on those experiences? cuz if the answer is no and nothing, i think you need to bring your age lower and do some more reflecting first
if you see yourself as maybe being child-like and immature, it’s probably not a good idea to be dating ppl that you consider to be mature and adult-like. regardless of how they see you, how you see yourself matters too here. if you feel too young, then yes that age gap is too big
there isn’t one right answer. it’s up to you how you feel and what your limits are. even tho i’d typically say 22 and 28 aren’t too big an age gap, it seems like for you, it might be a problem. and that’s what’s important
even if it’s not problematic, if you wouldn’t feel relaxed with someone who’s at a different phase in their life, that’s enough reason to not pursue it
It really depends on your life circumstances imo. If you were both grad students, that would be absolutely no big deal. If he’s 6 years into a corporate job with his own place and a 401k and, like, coming out of a divorce, then that might be a little difficult. And everything in between. But to me, this isn’t an especially problematic situation on the surface—you just have to judge the vibes for yourself.
I met my husband at 23 and he’s 6 years older than me. I graduated college early though and had been in the workforce for 2+ years by then. I feel as though we are equally mature (back then and still now at 31&37) lol I tried dating men the same age as me and they were super immature.
My wife and I started dating when I was 26 and she was 21. She was below the age threshold I was looking for after going on a few dates with people close to her age. I literally set my dating app preferences at 23+ because I felt most college age girls just weren’t on the same wavelength at the time.
We met through mutual friends and immediately hit it off. I’d definitely say if you’re both ‘typical’ for your age groups, it’s probably a little weird, but that’s definitely not a rule!
As a woman who is 6 years older than her husband, I get it. When we first met he was 22 and I was 28 and was wary about the gap, but the best way to deal with any misgivings is to talk ..a lot. Have an open, objective dialog about what’s going on between you if you ever feel unequal. If you’re not good communicators, this probably won’t work.
The life experience gap is too big to move in together. It’s fine for a date though.
It’s not a big deal. The thing I say about age gaps is that they are only a problem when the older person is a jerk. If they’re a good person it won’t matter
If you are aware of mistakes and behaviour patterns you experienced in the past, I think it´s alright to keep these in mind when you go on your date. The gap could be an issue, it does not have to be an issue. Try and find out how you feel, you can always decide later.