Always being the victim. I say this, recognizing that i fell into that for a while, too. It usually starts with bad things happening out of your control, but then it takes over your life, and you start blaming everyone else for the situations you continue to make worse. It sucks, because these people usually really do start as the victim of someone else, and then slowly start victimizing themselves (at least in my case). Don’t even realize how full of shit they are (at least, that’s how I was).
Every time one of these posts about lying or something comes up I see a bunch of people saying people that can’t stop talking or overshare people who never shut up or have to have an opinion are all liars.
I have some pretty strong ADHD and people like me or other people who have different neurodivergent traits often replicate these tendencies. We are not liars we are just wired to talk like this and often yes people who are neurotypical end up finding things to not like or trust about us because of it and it causes a lot of issues for us. So I get really tired of hearing just because somebody speaks and socializes different than you than they have to be liars…
In my experience, when an individual goes to great lengths to explain to you what kind of person they are, rather than letting you work that out for yourself by the way they behave, this usually means they are full of shit. They try to cultivate a specific image of themselves to everyone around them. They know it’s not a true image, but the false impression will allow them to get whatever it is they want from you. When someone introduces themselves and starts to literally tell you what they’re about, beware. Parasitic personality alert!
Everyone else in their life is a problem for them. Exes, family members, ex friends, the person at the bank, the retail worker, their boss, their coworkers etc. etc.
An extreme view on religion or spirituality. Online. When it’s clearly s show. A 20 year old female type in particular. You know the ones. “Divine.” And the baddie boss types.
When peoples first reaction when you bring them is up is “oh they’re so nice and helpful” and when you ask for examples of those two things they draw a blank. They’re not nice and helpful, they’re good at selling themselves to convince you that they are.
The vast majority of people posting on topics, is just people speculating. They think of an answer that sounds correct, they write it, without knowing the actual right answer.
If you are an expert at your profession, read reddit posts about your profession. Nearly all of it is wrong.
Never admitting to mistakes or being humble in their knowledge of something. If they don’t show that they are willing to be wrong, they are more likely to be wrong and double down on their ignorance.
When someone says that they don’t really have any long-lasting friendships but you’ve experienced them being social and friendly. And they just say that in the past, friends would act one way and then act a whole different way the next… never really looking inward and asking themselves WHY that pattern keeps repeating
they never answer questions directly. instead of giving a straight response, they throw in vague statements, change the subject, or just talk in circles. it’s their way of dodging anything that could expose them.
When they claim to have knowledge on literally every topic that gets brought up. And when you press them on an inaccuracy they’ll go back and redefine what they said to have it not as inaccurate.
Their stories are always unbelievable, they avoid eye contact, they get vague when being questioned, and their tone and mannerisms scream “give me attention but don’t question me”
Expert-level at everything. Unreasonably loud, talks over others. Listens to respond rather than to understand. Forgets entire conversations or events because of inward focus. Regularly has issues with other people, but it’s always the other person at fault. Regularly tries to “game” the system, as if they have cheat codes for life that no-one else has.
These people often know they’re full of it, but they don’t know how else to be. They fake it, but they never make it.
I came from a family of bullshitters. So for me it’s as simple as a lack of humility that I look for.
Even when you know a lot about a subject, it starts to be the creativity that stands out. Creativity that even children can muster. So you kind of start to look at the world with amazement, humility and open eyes.
I think they try to get people to echo sentiments about themselves, and as a consequence care deeply about what others think. They may say “I don’t care what others think!” but if you look at their behaviors you can easily tell they care about to deeply because their time is invested in endeavors that appear deep but are in reality shallow, they are betting that all the people are out of the water can’t tell. And usually they know what they’re doing.
They have been at it since very young.
This shows us that they are comfortable with manipulation, because they constantly manipulate others perception.
And also dishonesty.
And also want to appear confident because humans seem to respond to confidence almost subconsciously (citation needed).
Sometimes people who know a lot have an ego. But the people I have worked with like that actually held our projects back. So please check your egos at the door. I wouldn’t say that they are necessarily full of shit–it isn’t 0 or 100–just that it seems as though they are comfortable with some level of shit to provide a cushion for their ego’s.
I recently used some shit to protect my ego. We all can pretend, go with the flow. I gave a speech and I hesitated from sharing a detail that made me look bad. It was in the moment and later on I regretted it. In that moment I was full of shit! I do not want to operate like that, to be honest. But I did it anyhow.
Grateful this question forced me to think about that a little bit more.
But really, from my perspective, I think this boils down to insecurity. But that is deeply colored by my perception. When I feel insecure, when I have felt the most insecure, is when I have lied. But that is not a deep thought. Perhaps there are other times. I would love to know what others have written about this.
Comments
Having a Reddit account
Love bombing.
The sneer smile- psychopath giveaway.
When they start every story with ‘Honestly…’ or ‘To be completely real with you…’ like damn, were you lying the rest of the time?
They can’t shut up.
They know a better source, have “heard differently”, ask a question just do they can answer it their way afterwards, basically a “know it all”… AHs
If you know more a bout the subject the person is confidentially speaking about
Being an orange politician
When they answer questions no one asked
“this one time, ha ha i had this happen, omg it was so funny” laughs weirdly for 2 mins. “Ok this is what happened…”
Always being the victim. I say this, recognizing that i fell into that for a while, too. It usually starts with bad things happening out of your control, but then it takes over your life, and you start blaming everyone else for the situations you continue to make worse. It sucks, because these people usually really do start as the victim of someone else, and then slowly start victimizing themselves (at least in my case). Don’t even realize how full of shit they are (at least, that’s how I was).
I’m sorry but….
Oversharing. Bloviating. Volunteering too many life details unprompted.
Extreme levels of confidence on topics they clearly have a headlines-level grasp of.
Every time one of these posts about lying or something comes up I see a bunch of people saying people that can’t stop talking or overshare people who never shut up or have to have an opinion are all liars.
I have some pretty strong ADHD and people like me or other people who have different neurodivergent traits often replicate these tendencies. We are not liars we are just wired to talk like this and often yes people who are neurotypical end up finding things to not like or trust about us because of it and it causes a lot of issues for us. So I get really tired of hearing just because somebody speaks and socializes different than you than they have to be liars…
Constantly uses seemingly professional or “advanced” terms in speech, but never goes into details regarding these .
EVERYONE seems to like them at first.
In my experience, when an individual goes to great lengths to explain to you what kind of person they are, rather than letting you work that out for yourself by the way they behave, this usually means they are full of shit. They try to cultivate a specific image of themselves to everyone around them. They know it’s not a true image, but the false impression will allow them to get whatever it is they want from you. When someone introduces themselves and starts to literally tell you what they’re about, beware. Parasitic personality alert!
They only consider themselves and dont care about you.
Incapable of speaking on specifics. Gives it away every time.
They only go by a nickname. Never used their real name.
When they wait until the person isn’t around to talk shit about them. Usually lies and exaggerations are made.
Using a lot of hyperboles and decisions tend to be made on “gut feel”
Everyone else in their life is a problem for them. Exes, family members, ex friends, the person at the bank, the retail worker, their boss, their coworkers etc. etc.
When they use scientific words as an argument for or against, but don’t back it up with plain language.
When they say “I know” all the time
running FAST to the bathroom, especially in middle of a business meeting
They say “trust me”.
A “just asking questions” white guy with zero sources cited and usually with no constructive suggestions.
An extreme view on religion or spirituality. Online. When it’s clearly s show. A 20 year old female type in particular. You know the ones. “Divine.” And the baddie boss types.
Absolutely not how life works in the real world.
When peoples first reaction when you bring them is up is “oh they’re so nice and helpful” and when you ask for examples of those two things they draw a blank. They’re not nice and helpful, they’re good at selling themselves to convince you that they are.
When they start a sentence with “if elected, I promise…”
Needs to be in the spotlight as much as possible, constantly seeks opportunities to be center of attention or topic of discussion like it’s a drug
If they fail to mention the downside of something or if they rush on something that takes way more time than they are allotting.
When they come into the ER complaining of abdominal pain and don’t mention until way later that they haven’t had a bowel movement in 2 weeks.
Seeks attention with their stories.
They post on reddit.
The vast majority of people posting on topics, is just people speculating. They think of an answer that sounds correct, they write it, without knowing the actual right answer.
If you are an expert at your profession, read reddit posts about your profession. Nearly all of it is wrong.
Never admitting to mistakes or being humble in their knowledge of something. If they don’t show that they are willing to be wrong, they are more likely to be wrong and double down on their ignorance.
telling not showing; insecure articulations of language (suspiciously compromised intelligibility and speed) and frequent topic changes for example
When someone says that they don’t really have any long-lasting friendships but you’ve experienced them being social and friendly. And they just say that in the past, friends would act one way and then act a whole different way the next… never really looking inward and asking themselves WHY that pattern keeps repeating
Subtle put downs.
they never answer questions directly. instead of giving a straight response, they throw in vague statements, change the subject, or just talk in circles. it’s their way of dodging anything that could expose them.
“He’s a story topper Jerry, a story topper.”
Noticing they are a fan of eating food.
That’s a pretty good sign they’re full of shit.
When they claim to have knowledge on literally every topic that gets brought up. And when you press them on an inaccuracy they’ll go back and redefine what they said to have it not as inaccurate.
Their stories are always unbelievable, they avoid eye contact, they get vague when being questioned, and their tone and mannerisms scream “give me attention but don’t question me”
Dropping as many technical terms as possible.
Always having a crazy story where they are absolutely not at fault/the hero.
Talking about money and expensive purchases all the time and never having any money to cover basics.
Anyone who quotes dialogue extensively when recounting something is lying.
If only it was subtle, with some people!
Lack of nuances in what is told.
When they never say “I don’t know.” or “I didn’t know that.”
If someone gossips negatively about others to you, there also gonna gossip about you to others. Massive red flag
Expert-level at everything. Unreasonably loud, talks over others. Listens to respond rather than to understand. Forgets entire conversations or events because of inward focus. Regularly has issues with other people, but it’s always the other person at fault. Regularly tries to “game” the system, as if they have cheat codes for life that no-one else has.
These people often know they’re full of it, but they don’t know how else to be. They fake it, but they never make it.
I came from a family of bullshitters. So for me it’s as simple as a lack of humility that I look for.
Even when you know a lot about a subject, it starts to be the creativity that stands out. Creativity that even children can muster. So you kind of start to look at the world with amazement, humility and open eyes.
I think they try to get people to echo sentiments about themselves, and as a consequence care deeply about what others think. They may say “I don’t care what others think!” but if you look at their behaviors you can easily tell they care about to deeply because their time is invested in endeavors that appear deep but are in reality shallow, they are betting that all the people are out of the water can’t tell. And usually they know what they’re doing.
They have been at it since very young.
This shows us that they are comfortable with manipulation, because they constantly manipulate others perception.
And also dishonesty.
And also want to appear confident because humans seem to respond to confidence almost subconsciously (citation needed).
Sometimes people who know a lot have an ego. But the people I have worked with like that actually held our projects back. So please check your egos at the door. I wouldn’t say that they are necessarily full of shit–it isn’t 0 or 100–just that it seems as though they are comfortable with some level of shit to provide a cushion for their ego’s.
I recently used some shit to protect my ego. We all can pretend, go with the flow. I gave a speech and I hesitated from sharing a detail that made me look bad. It was in the moment and later on I regretted it. In that moment I was full of shit! I do not want to operate like that, to be honest. But I did it anyhow.
Grateful this question forced me to think about that a little bit more.
But really, from my perspective, I think this boils down to insecurity. But that is deeply colored by my perception. When I feel insecure, when I have felt the most insecure, is when I have lied. But that is not a deep thought. Perhaps there are other times. I would love to know what others have written about this.
subtle one upping. It snowballs fast and they can’t keep track of who heard which thing and what thier “roommate” was named in that version.
but at first it sounds totally plausible, whatever the thing is at the time
They can’t answer simple questions on whatever topic they are 🐂💩ing about.
Here are some ideas to catch them:
They claim they are into a specific artist:
They are into a sport?
They are into literature?
You see the idea. If they are not real they won’t be able to answer simple questions… and you’ll know!
Well, when they run to the bathroom with both hands behind them it’s often safe to say they are what you said