I found it by not really looking for it, because it doesn’t exist yet. You instead look for someone to casually date. You just try to find someone cool and someone you can emplace your trust. Mutual trust is that foundation of the relationship.
Then, over good times spent dating each other, you start building off that mutual trust foundation, and cultivating that love. You can think of it like building a house. Mutual trust is the concrete foundation slab. Alignment on core issues (lifestyle, kids or no kids, career plans, etc) and mutual honesty and open comms are the framing and roofing. And then your shared beautiful experiences together, shared intimacy, shared humor, shared daily boring life… all of that is the finishings of the house, hung upon the framing and supported by the foundation.
You can’t fake it, you can’t overshoot it, or you can ruin a relationship. You have to let it grow more organically. This is the number 1 reason why so many people fail when they try to “find” true love. Instead, try to find cool people and explore BUILDING true love!
I used to HATE hearing “you have to love yourself first” but since I’ve been on a healing journey that statement is so true. True love will come. And it’s a master at playing Hide and Seek. So don’t necessarily go looking for it. Let it come it you.
I don’t think that ‘you’ find it. I think it finds you. There’ll be a time, maybe when you least expect it, that someone special will come into your life and, if it’s real true love, you’ll know straight away
I agree that true love isn’t found it’s built so here’s how do you find someone to build with. Me married almost 10 years and this is what worked.
Spend time doing the kinds of things your ideal partner would be doing, go to the places you think they would be going. Like art – go to art museum events, like music – go to smaller shows for newer artists, want someone who gives back – go volunteer, like festivals – go to/volunteer to help with festivals. This works because you’ll be living your best life and either meet someone at one of these places or you’ll meet someone and have interesting places to take them. You also get to really know someone by doing things vs just going on dates where you stare at each other waiting for things to get interesting
You don’t “find” true love like a lost item. You build it with the right person—someone willing to meet you halfway, challenge you, and stay when it’s not easy. Be the kind of partner you want to find.If you want deep connection, honesty, and growth, you have to live those values yourself. Energy attracts energy. Charm fades. Looks change. Status shifts. True love grows from shared respect, emotional safety, and consistent effort—especially when it’s not convenient. You can’t find someone who truly sees you if you’re hiding from who you are. Understand your values, your goals, your wounds, and your limits. You attract what you’re ready for.
Aim much lower by finding things you’re willing to sacrifice. When you ask yourself what you want in a romantic partner, if your answer is long then start with simplifying your list based on what’s achievable based on who you’ve actually dated.
Or… keep doing things your own way and let the chips fall.
It’s not like some magical thing that you happen upon, love is like a home you make with someone, brick by brick, each memory, each silly game you play, each nickname, the good and the bad. No relationship is perfect, but the right one is worth it. Just keep building
invest in loving yourself. Build yourself up and people will be drawn to you based on these interests and passions. Then build the relationship with the person. If you don’t love yourself and your life on your own, how can you expect someone else to want to share a life with you?
You dont find it. Its built. Preferably while young and you grow together. Careers, building a home, kids. It needs trust and communcation. Respecting each other. Both financially contributing typically. Sexual chemistry is important and date nights. Understanding financial resposibilities and parent roles. Some common interests (food, travel, movies, music, etc). Most relationships start with a base level of attraction or lust, but if you dont do the important stuff along the way it will fizzle fast.
Stop chasing the girl that stimulates your eyes or penis only and start looking for the woman who stimulates your brain as well. So many of my friends have shit relationships and they fail because they chase the girl who attract their eyes with all her goodies hanging out all the time. Trust me if they’re hanging out for you they’ve hung out for others and will continue to do so.
For all of us our looks will fade we will become wrinkled and grayed, if we are lucky. Find a woman that you can talk with, laugh with, create dreams with, and build with. The woman who works just as hard as you to build a life not the woman who wants you to build the empire that she can exist in that woman is one sided and selfish, she will jump ship at first site of struggle or better opportunity.
Lots of great advice already – I would just add that set standards and expectations for your future partner. Then when you date you can quickly let go of the ones that you don’t click with or their intentions don’t match yours. Don’t waste unnecessary time trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. But the more you continue to put yourself out there and cut your losses early the more you will know what it is or who it is that you are looking for. And you’ll recognize it when it happens
I found it when I finally stopped looking. There’s a confidence and ease that enters your life when you accept that the right person will find you when the time is right, and that ease is precisely what allowed me to push through the dates made out of desperation and loneliness. I was actively focusing on myself when I met my wife, and things just clicked.
Have a “20-80” list. Make a list of ALL the stuff you are looking for in a partner. This includes all the important ones “must want kids in the future” or “must not be abusive” and also the other ones like “must be taller than me”
Then separate it into 2 lists, 20% of them being non-negotiables and 80% being a “nice to have”.
Assuming you’ve reached a certain level of maturity (where you didn’t put “must have 6-pack abs” into the non-negotiables list. If you did, you need to stop looking for a life partner and do some deep introspection first), you’ll have a list of attributes for a partner in the 20% list that will match your core values.
Also, I agree with not desperately looking. I found my husband (or, he found me) while I was having fun attending a hiking group.
Honestly if I was in a dating app we would not have even been chosen for each other by the algorithm. He is atheist and I was (at the time) going to church. He’s a social butterfly and I’m an introvert. Our music doesn’t match, he likes serious shows and movies and I like junk food ones. But we agree on the important things (meaning I had the attributes of what was in his 20% list of non-negotiables)
Granted, we were older when we met (mid-30s) but we both learned life lessons from previous relationships.
Best of luck and remember it’s more important to find “true love” within yourself first and foremost.
I got amazingly lucky. I was awful with girls and women. Very little success whatsoever. Heck, I had a hard time even making friends usually. Then in my late 20s, my wife liked my online dating profile and messaged me, we eventually met up in person and it was immediately like I’d known her for ten years. I had never been so comfortable with another person in my entire life, including my closest friends. After about a month, we both knew that we had something very special. We’ve been together 20 years now.
(FWIW, we’ve both realized that we’re almost certainly on the autism spectrum, and needed just the right other person to match with)
You stop chasing it and work on yourself.
Read, educate yourself. Learn how to be interested in other people, and ask them about themselves in conversations. Maintain a fit appearance, and stop chasing shallow or.transactional people.
Find someone who has a similar background or who shares common interests. True love comes from natural, mutual depth.of understanding each other, including the unsaid, unspoken subtle things that only 2 people who share common points of reference have with each other
This. True love isn’t stumbled upon like treasure it’s crafted like art. Trust is the canvas, honesty is the brush, and shared moments are the strokes. People out here looking for perfection miss the beauty of co-creation. Build, don’t chase!
You are your true love. Find yourself, be content and happy by yourself and you start to have this love aura. That’s when people with look for love, and maybe they will find it in you.
How do you find true love? By putting yourself out there. Time will do its thing, but you NEED to put yourself out there and endure all the “failures” of finding it.
First, you have to understand true and pure love isn’t perfect. When you meet the right person, you’ll feel a connection. You’ll be immensely drawn to them in a nearly indescribable, supernatural way. That’s the start. Once you get to know your person, you may find some flaws, but they’ll mean nothing to you because the love will simply trump those imperfections (not just physical traits but overall). You’ll accept them easily for who they are. If it’s any other person, you may not be able to look past those flaws and I’d argue the love isn’t entirely there.
Learn how to build friendships with women, if you are talking about heterosexual love. We often hear “men and women cant be friends” but thats silly. Are gay men unable to have male friends? Are bisexual people incapable of friendship with anyone? Of course not!
You just can’t be friends with someone you don’t see as a person, period. You can be friends with people you are sexually attracted too, you can be friends with people you have strong feelings for. Friendship takes a mentality that is in opposition to entitlement. Be grateful for the time you get to spend with your friends, even if those friends are super hot and you want so badly to bury your face between their boobies. But never, never cross friendship boundaries without first talking to your friend about that being appropriate. You can want your buddies 50 dollar bill you know he has in his back pocket without any intention of stealing it. Its not even hard, do this same thing with what your lady friend has in her pants.
My best friend is a woman who I met in high school, she had a lot of the same interests and quirks as me, and also, she was so fucking cute I swear my heart stopped beating for several seconds every time I laid my eyes on her. We didn’t get to hang out in high school much, but as fate would have it, we both ended up working at the same bank downtown a few years later. We started hanging out a lot, taking lunch breaks together, spending time on the weekends and generally having a lot of fun in each others company. After about a year, I got up the nerve to ask her out, and she declined. I was devastated, but also, I recognized that her friendship was way more important to me than not. Like, yes, I absolutely wanted to take things to the next level, and I knew if we did, it would be like gangbusters, but was I willing to give up the joy I found in my friendship with her? No, I was not.
So, I took my hurt and my pain and I weighed that on a scale vs that joy and I could see the that joy had the scale bottomed out, because the pain and the hurt was only temporary, and the joy would last our lives together as friends. And it has, and it will. I love my friend, she is amazing and wonderful, and you know what? We got married about 20 years after that first rejection, so in the end it all worked out.
But the key is, I would have remained her loyal friend until the end of time regardless of anything. She enriches my life and has from the first day I met her. She brings me joy, fills me with warmth, and reminds me of my own worth. In return, I fill her with joy, warmth, and remind her of her own worth. Man and woman, we are all more the same than we are different. Yes, our differences are important, and we shouldn’t pretend like they don’t exists, but we are all just people in the end.
My wife and I, we form a partnership that cannot be broken, not because we found true love together, but because we have built it through trust and integrity for each other as individuals. We treat each other like people who are valuable to each other, this is the way.
My first wife though, she was a horrible cunt. *hiss*
I worked on myself until I was happy alone, I don’t believe you can truly be happy as half of a couple unless you can be happy in and of yourself.
You need to be a self sufficient and validating individual before you can be part of a team.
And that’s what a truly successful relationship is: a team. One in which it becomes greater than the sum of its parts and where you put the success of the team above that of yourself as an individual.
You need to be best friends with someone if you’re going to be the love of their life and they yours.
There are times attraction and romance fades or takes a back seat, and you need that bedrock of being incredibly good friends with someone.
You have to want to spend a huge amount of time with them and enjoy it, you have to be able to communicate freely and honestly and endlessly with them and you have to understand their values and the way they approach life.
If those things are in place and you have a romantic attraction and a desire to be with that person and build a life then you have a chance.
But that’s just the start. You have to continue to put that person on before yourself, not just now but indefinitely. You might be willing to go on holiday with someone, but are you willing to help them rehabilitate after an accident or illness? Are you able and genuinely ready for something that is forever, for better and worse?
Can you have the horrible conversations about what happens when the first one of you dies? Can you communicate your insecurities and deepest worries to someone and trust they’ll never betray your confidence?
If you find a person who meets these requirements then you are at the start of the journey, not the end.
You have to put in the effort every day of your life for this one person, you have to look at them with open eyes and see who they are, rather than who you hope or think they are, and you have to keep dating them for the rest of your life.
I used to think love was a feeling, but I realised love is an ongoing act and a willingness to draw from that well indefinitely.
I learned how to love from good friendships and great people and that meant when I had a chance to meet the right woman I was in a position to give love a true shot.
I’ve made the same effort every day since meeting her and I intend to keep going until one of us is dead. I would do anything in the world for her and it wouldn’t scratch the surface of what I’d do to make her happy.
You are ready for love when you are willing to do everything for and never expect anything in return, and you find love when you find someone willing to do exactly the same for you.
I wasn’t looking, we became friends, then lovers, then something deeper. The foundation of who I am is who I am with her. It’s a hard thing to articulate really, time, respect, deep meaningful conversations. The direction of both our moral compasses pointing in the same direction.
It’s all just statistics… most people say they’ve tried or been looking when really they haven’t.
They’ll like a girl, spend a few moths longing ask her out, get turned down… repeat a few time and throw up their hands
That’s ludicrous. There are hundreds of thousands if not millions of potential true love matches. You’re literally preprogrammed to find it everywhere.
You just have to accept its a game of numbers to find both players feel the same way
Sometimes I feel like finding true love is like winning the lottery.
But honestly? It’s more about healing enough to tell the difference between love and attachment and not settling for someone who gives you the bare minimum just because you’re scared of being alone.
It helps to start dating with the intention to find someone with the same long term goals as you and to have that conversation like right away. And it also helps to do this while both in a kinda financially weak position individually so you both can grow together as well as be with each other through the hard times as well as the good times. How ppl stick together even during the most challenging times is what matters most.
Step 1: Find someone you think is reasonably attainable that you find attractive.
Step 2: Get to know them and build a relationship. Determine if they have shared interest and life goals. What are their thoughts on work, money, children or general life philosophy. Once you find someone with a general 80% alignment move to step 3. If you determine there is not an 80% alignment go back to step 1
Step 3: work through issues together and solve them. Repeat step 3 until one of you dies or you learn that there is less than 80% alignment in the items in step 2.
Dumb blind luck my friend. I was fresh out of a divorce, a wreck and lonely. I made a tinder account and out on my profile I was recently divorced and just wanted to make friends.
Few girls matched me just to talk some shit
But one, one said hello to me.
We talked a bit about food and my phone mis translated soup to souls, which resulted in me asking her of she liked bowls of souls.
Took me a year of rebuilding my life, getting a new job, a apartment of my own and then I asked her on a real date.
There is no secrets friend. You just gotta find that person who fits you and get to know one another
Step 2: Put yourself out there with the goal of making friends
Step 3: After however much time, you’ll find yourself a female friend and, after a while (months, years, whatever), you may both develop feelings for each other.
I told my buddy “I like this girl” and he said “I’ll talk to her friend.” Well, that friend remembered me from an earlier encounter where I indirectly made her laugh and said that she wanted to go out with me.
She was beautiful, tall, had nice blue eyes and was very friendly so I thought “why not?” (She’s still all those things.)
As it turned out, we had a lot of similar interests and I realized about 6 months in that she could be the one. It really felt like I was dating my best friend.
Long story short, we’re still going strong 24 years later.
You don’t. Stop searching for true love. Find someone you like and care about and enjoy your time with them for as long as you’re compatible; know that it will end and be pleasantly surprised if it takes longer than you expected. Stop tryna find something mythic and clasp onto the real.
“I want to find someone who loves me for me” is a bullshit cliche. If that is the direction you want to go with it then you need to build yourself up to be the best version of yourself you can be.
Love yourself, fix your confidence, and let it come to you.
Comments
I hope it never finds me
Not a guy but I would start with dating.
You just sort of stumble upon it.
You don’t. Men are never loved unconditionally.
True love isn’t found… it’s built.
I found it by not really looking for it, because it doesn’t exist yet. You instead look for someone to casually date. You just try to find someone cool and someone you can emplace your trust. Mutual trust is that foundation of the relationship.
Then, over good times spent dating each other, you start building off that mutual trust foundation, and cultivating that love. You can think of it like building a house. Mutual trust is the concrete foundation slab. Alignment on core issues (lifestyle, kids or no kids, career plans, etc) and mutual honesty and open comms are the framing and roofing. And then your shared beautiful experiences together, shared intimacy, shared humor, shared daily boring life… all of that is the finishings of the house, hung upon the framing and supported by the foundation.
You can’t fake it, you can’t overshoot it, or you can ruin a relationship. You have to let it grow more organically. This is the number 1 reason why so many people fail when they try to “find” true love. Instead, try to find cool people and explore BUILDING true love!
I used to HATE hearing “you have to love yourself first” but since I’ve been on a healing journey that statement is so true. True love will come. And it’s a master at playing Hide and Seek. So don’t necessarily go looking for it. Let it come it you.
I don’t think that ‘you’ find it. I think it finds you. There’ll be a time, maybe when you least expect it, that someone special will come into your life and, if it’s real true love, you’ll know straight away
When you stop looking. The opposite sex can smell desperation.
When you full of life started to actually love yourself then true love will find you
You already have it inside of you. Technically you’re looking for the correct catalyst to start its growth.
Can we define true love? Is it some magic love at first sight type thing? Is it enduring love despite difficulties?
The person you’ll fall in love with is often not what you pictured in your mind. Be open.
Smile a lot and really take care of yourself
I agree that true love isn’t found it’s built so here’s how do you find someone to build with. Me married almost 10 years and this is what worked.
Spend time doing the kinds of things your ideal partner would be doing, go to the places you think they would be going. Like art – go to art museum events, like music – go to smaller shows for newer artists, want someone who gives back – go volunteer, like festivals – go to/volunteer to help with festivals. This works because you’ll be living your best life and either meet someone at one of these places or you’ll meet someone and have interesting places to take them. You also get to really know someone by doing things vs just going on dates where you stare at each other waiting for things to get interesting
You don’t “find” true love like a lost item. You build it with the right person—someone willing to meet you halfway, challenge you, and stay when it’s not easy. Be the kind of partner you want to find.If you want deep connection, honesty, and growth, you have to live those values yourself. Energy attracts energy. Charm fades. Looks change. Status shifts. True love grows from shared respect, emotional safety, and consistent effort—especially when it’s not convenient. You can’t find someone who truly sees you if you’re hiding from who you are. Understand your values, your goals, your wounds, and your limits. You attract what you’re ready for.
Stop looking. The minute you decide that you want everything but love it’ll show up.
Aim much lower by finding things you’re willing to sacrifice. When you ask yourself what you want in a romantic partner, if your answer is long then start with simplifying your list based on what’s achievable based on who you’ve actually dated.
Or… keep doing things your own way and let the chips fall.
It usually finds you.
Tend to your garden and the butterflies will come to you.
Tinder
I wish I knew!
Earn more money, find free time, find a hobby, find women that matches your vibe, love will follow
You don’t find true love. True love finds you. Let it do its job and worry about something else.
It’s not like some magical thing that you happen upon, love is like a home you make with someone, brick by brick, each memory, each silly game you play, each nickname, the good and the bad. No relationship is perfect, but the right one is worth it. Just keep building
Not an answer but a precondition – start loving yourself. You cant love no body before you can love & accept yourself.
true love isn’t found, it’s realized that it’s within you at all times; and all there is, is true love.
Rarely found, more of a choice you make
invest in loving yourself. Build yourself up and people will be drawn to you based on these interests and passions. Then build the relationship with the person. If you don’t love yourself and your life on your own, how can you expect someone else to want to share a life with you?
Go to your favorite pizzeria. Order thin crust with extra cheese, anchovies, pepperoni, onions and banana peppers. True love!
It finds you!
Be happy and in love with yourself. I found love as soon as I took the focus away from finding love and became truly happy with myself. ❤️
You dont find it. Its built. Preferably while young and you grow together. Careers, building a home, kids. It needs trust and communcation. Respecting each other. Both financially contributing typically. Sexual chemistry is important and date nights. Understanding financial resposibilities and parent roles. Some common interests (food, travel, movies, music, etc). Most relationships start with a base level of attraction or lust, but if you dont do the important stuff along the way it will fizzle fast.
Start by loving yourself. Dont look for love from a significant other. It usually pretty mid
Learn to love yourself first
Stop chasing the girl that stimulates your eyes or penis only and start looking for the woman who stimulates your brain as well. So many of my friends have shit relationships and they fail because they chase the girl who attract their eyes with all her goodies hanging out all the time. Trust me if they’re hanging out for you they’ve hung out for others and will continue to do so.
For all of us our looks will fade we will become wrinkled and grayed, if we are lucky. Find a woman that you can talk with, laugh with, create dreams with, and build with. The woman who works just as hard as you to build a life not the woman who wants you to build the empire that she can exist in that woman is one sided and selfish, she will jump ship at first site of struggle or better opportunity.
Lots of great advice already – I would just add that set standards and expectations for your future partner. Then when you date you can quickly let go of the ones that you don’t click with or their intentions don’t match yours. Don’t waste unnecessary time trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. But the more you continue to put yourself out there and cut your losses early the more you will know what it is or who it is that you are looking for. And you’ll recognize it when it happens
I found it when I finally stopped looking. There’s a confidence and ease that enters your life when you accept that the right person will find you when the time is right, and that ease is precisely what allowed me to push through the dates made out of desperation and loneliness. I was actively focusing on myself when I met my wife, and things just clicked.
idk man u tell me
idk
You don’t. It finds you – gradually, over time.
” I spent so much time looking for ladybugs in the tall grass that I fell asleep. when I awoke they were crawling all over me! “
Have a “20-80” list. Make a list of ALL the stuff you are looking for in a partner. This includes all the important ones “must want kids in the future” or “must not be abusive” and also the other ones like “must be taller than me”
Then separate it into 2 lists, 20% of them being non-negotiables and 80% being a “nice to have”.
Assuming you’ve reached a certain level of maturity (where you didn’t put “must have 6-pack abs” into the non-negotiables list. If you did, you need to stop looking for a life partner and do some deep introspection first), you’ll have a list of attributes for a partner in the 20% list that will match your core values.
Also, I agree with not desperately looking. I found my husband (or, he found me) while I was having fun attending a hiking group.
Honestly if I was in a dating app we would not have even been chosen for each other by the algorithm. He is atheist and I was (at the time) going to church. He’s a social butterfly and I’m an introvert. Our music doesn’t match, he likes serious shows and movies and I like junk food ones. But we agree on the important things (meaning I had the attributes of what was in his 20% list of non-negotiables)
Granted, we were older when we met (mid-30s) but we both learned life lessons from previous relationships.
Best of luck and remember it’s more important to find “true love” within yourself first and foremost.
I got amazingly lucky. I was awful with girls and women. Very little success whatsoever. Heck, I had a hard time even making friends usually. Then in my late 20s, my wife liked my online dating profile and messaged me, we eventually met up in person and it was immediately like I’d known her for ten years. I had never been so comfortable with another person in my entire life, including my closest friends. After about a month, we both knew that we had something very special. We’ve been together 20 years now.
(FWIW, we’ve both realized that we’re almost certainly on the autism spectrum, and needed just the right other person to match with)
Not on the internet for sure
You don’t find it, you build it
You work on yourself to be ready for deep, honest, emotional connection. Most people skip that step
You stop chasing it and work on yourself.
Read, educate yourself. Learn how to be interested in other people, and ask them about themselves in conversations. Maintain a fit appearance, and stop chasing shallow or.transactional people.
Find someone who has a similar background or who shares common interests. True love comes from natural, mutual depth.of understanding each other, including the unsaid, unspoken subtle things that only 2 people who share common points of reference have with each other
This. True love isn’t stumbled upon like treasure it’s crafted like art. Trust is the canvas, honesty is the brush, and shared moments are the strokes. People out here looking for perfection miss the beauty of co-creation. Build, don’t chase!
Ask your mom. Moms can find anything.
You are your true love. Find yourself, be content and happy by yourself and you start to have this love aura. That’s when people with look for love, and maybe they will find it in you.
Next to the soda machine
True love is lots of work. And I had to learn this.
How do you find true love? By putting yourself out there. Time will do its thing, but you NEED to put yourself out there and endure all the “failures” of finding it.
First, you have to understand true and pure love isn’t perfect. When you meet the right person, you’ll feel a connection. You’ll be immensely drawn to them in a nearly indescribable, supernatural way. That’s the start. Once you get to know your person, you may find some flaws, but they’ll mean nothing to you because the love will simply trump those imperfections (not just physical traits but overall). You’ll accept them easily for who they are. If it’s any other person, you may not be able to look past those flaws and I’d argue the love isn’t entirely there.
Learn how to build friendships with women, if you are talking about heterosexual love. We often hear “men and women cant be friends” but thats silly. Are gay men unable to have male friends? Are bisexual people incapable of friendship with anyone? Of course not!
You just can’t be friends with someone you don’t see as a person, period. You can be friends with people you are sexually attracted too, you can be friends with people you have strong feelings for. Friendship takes a mentality that is in opposition to entitlement. Be grateful for the time you get to spend with your friends, even if those friends are super hot and you want so badly to bury your face between their boobies. But never, never cross friendship boundaries without first talking to your friend about that being appropriate. You can want your buddies 50 dollar bill you know he has in his back pocket without any intention of stealing it. Its not even hard, do this same thing with what your lady friend has in her pants.
My best friend is a woman who I met in high school, she had a lot of the same interests and quirks as me, and also, she was so fucking cute I swear my heart stopped beating for several seconds every time I laid my eyes on her. We didn’t get to hang out in high school much, but as fate would have it, we both ended up working at the same bank downtown a few years later. We started hanging out a lot, taking lunch breaks together, spending time on the weekends and generally having a lot of fun in each others company. After about a year, I got up the nerve to ask her out, and she declined. I was devastated, but also, I recognized that her friendship was way more important to me than not. Like, yes, I absolutely wanted to take things to the next level, and I knew if we did, it would be like gangbusters, but was I willing to give up the joy I found in my friendship with her? No, I was not.
So, I took my hurt and my pain and I weighed that on a scale vs that joy and I could see the that joy had the scale bottomed out, because the pain and the hurt was only temporary, and the joy would last our lives together as friends. And it has, and it will. I love my friend, she is amazing and wonderful, and you know what? We got married about 20 years after that first rejection, so in the end it all worked out.
But the key is, I would have remained her loyal friend until the end of time regardless of anything. She enriches my life and has from the first day I met her. She brings me joy, fills me with warmth, and reminds me of my own worth. In return, I fill her with joy, warmth, and remind her of her own worth. Man and woman, we are all more the same than we are different. Yes, our differences are important, and we shouldn’t pretend like they don’t exists, but we are all just people in the end.
My wife and I, we form a partnership that cannot be broken, not because we found true love together, but because we have built it through trust and integrity for each other as individuals. We treat each other like people who are valuable to each other, this is the way.
My first wife though, she was a horrible cunt. *hiss*
I worked on myself until I was happy alone, I don’t believe you can truly be happy as half of a couple unless you can be happy in and of yourself.
You need to be a self sufficient and validating individual before you can be part of a team.
And that’s what a truly successful relationship is: a team. One in which it becomes greater than the sum of its parts and where you put the success of the team above that of yourself as an individual.
You need to be best friends with someone if you’re going to be the love of their life and they yours.
There are times attraction and romance fades or takes a back seat, and you need that bedrock of being incredibly good friends with someone.
You have to want to spend a huge amount of time with them and enjoy it, you have to be able to communicate freely and honestly and endlessly with them and you have to understand their values and the way they approach life.
If those things are in place and you have a romantic attraction and a desire to be with that person and build a life then you have a chance.
But that’s just the start. You have to continue to put that person on before yourself, not just now but indefinitely. You might be willing to go on holiday with someone, but are you willing to help them rehabilitate after an accident or illness? Are you able and genuinely ready for something that is forever, for better and worse?
Can you have the horrible conversations about what happens when the first one of you dies? Can you communicate your insecurities and deepest worries to someone and trust they’ll never betray your confidence?
If you find a person who meets these requirements then you are at the start of the journey, not the end.
You have to put in the effort every day of your life for this one person, you have to look at them with open eyes and see who they are, rather than who you hope or think they are, and you have to keep dating them for the rest of your life.
I used to think love was a feeling, but I realised love is an ongoing act and a willingness to draw from that well indefinitely.
I learned how to love from good friendships and great people and that meant when I had a chance to meet the right woman I was in a position to give love a true shot.
I’ve made the same effort every day since meeting her and I intend to keep going until one of us is dead. I would do anything in the world for her and it wouldn’t scratch the surface of what I’d do to make her happy.
You are ready for love when you are willing to do everything for and never expect anything in return, and you find love when you find someone willing to do exactly the same for you.
don’t look for it. It will come at the right time, in the right place 🙂
Timing
Hell I found it for 50 bucks when I bought my blue heeler, I suggest getting a dog.
You don’t. It finds you
Go out and approach woman. Vet out the right one. It’s the only solid method
What you’ve gone through in life, not hobbies is what connects people
Not yet but it might come some day I hope
Stop looking.
It’s a myth. Successful relationships are built on top of years of hard work and compromise from both. That’s true love.
you dont. love is not real.
By sheer luck!
I wasn’t looking, we became friends, then lovers, then something deeper. The foundation of who I am is who I am with her. It’s a hard thing to articulate really, time, respect, deep meaningful conversations. The direction of both our moral compasses pointing in the same direction.
The Internet and dumb luck.
It’s all just statistics… most people say they’ve tried or been looking when really they haven’t.
They’ll like a girl, spend a few moths longing ask her out, get turned down… repeat a few time and throw up their hands
That’s ludicrous. There are hundreds of thousands if not millions of potential true love matches. You’re literally preprogrammed to find it everywhere.
You just have to accept its a game of numbers to find both players feel the same way
You know what they say the second you stop looking for it you’ll find it.
Sometimes I feel like finding true love is like winning the lottery.
But honestly? It’s more about healing enough to tell the difference between love and attachment and not settling for someone who gives you the bare minimum just because you’re scared of being alone.
you dont find true love.. true love finds you!!!
you dont find true love.. true love finds you!!!
Idk, fought I found it but apparently they didn’t feel the same way about me
You don’t. True love is a myth.
It helps to start dating with the intention to find someone with the same long term goals as you and to have that conversation like right away. And it also helps to do this while both in a kinda financially weak position individually so you both can grow together as well as be with each other through the hard times as well as the good times. How ppl stick together even during the most challenging times is what matters most.
If i’d tell you I’d have to kill you
Step 1: Find someone you think is reasonably attainable that you find attractive.
Step 2: Get to know them and build a relationship. Determine if they have shared interest and life goals. What are their thoughts on work, money, children or general life philosophy. Once you find someone with a general 80% alignment move to step 3. If you determine there is not an 80% alignment go back to step 1
Step 3: work through issues together and solve them. Repeat step 3 until one of you dies or you learn that there is less than 80% alignment in the items in step 2.
Get a puppy
I don’t think true love exists in this generation 😭
it finds you… but you have to be open to it.
hunting and seeking behavior is the opposite of being open to it… it’s predatory and off putting.
I believe u don’t find it … it finds u. Just like our destiny
Dumb blind luck my friend. I was fresh out of a divorce, a wreck and lonely. I made a tinder account and out on my profile I was recently divorced and just wanted to make friends.
Few girls matched me just to talk some shit
But one, one said hello to me.
We talked a bit about food and my phone mis translated soup to souls, which resulted in me asking her of she liked bowls of souls.
Took me a year of rebuilding my life, getting a new job, a apartment of my own and then I asked her on a real date.
There is no secrets friend. You just gotta find that person who fits you and get to know one another
Step 1: Ditch that dumbass mindset
Step 2: Put yourself out there with the goal of making friends
Step 3: After however much time, you’ll find yourself a female friend and, after a while (months, years, whatever), you may both develop feelings for each other.
The rest is simple.
Make 100k a year. Buy a mustang and mind your business. And look at yourself in the mirror 🪞 and say I love you. True love there you go
Whip it out
I’m pretty sure you can buy love with money
true love finds you………(i havn’t exp yet)
It finds you 🥹
Idk, if I figure it out I’ll get back to you
By turning gay, women love what they can’t get.
“What you seek is seeking you”, makes it easy to sleep n wait till (if) it appears.
Mine found me in highschool.
I told my buddy “I like this girl” and he said “I’ll talk to her friend.” Well, that friend remembered me from an earlier encounter where I indirectly made her laugh and said that she wanted to go out with me.
She was beautiful, tall, had nice blue eyes and was very friendly so I thought “why not?” (She’s still all those things.)
As it turned out, we had a lot of similar interests and I realized about 6 months in that she could be the one. It really felt like I was dating my best friend.
Long story short, we’re still going strong 24 years later.
Green eggs and ham
You don’t. Stop searching for true love. Find someone you like and care about and enjoy your time with them for as long as you’re compatible; know that it will end and be pleasantly surprised if it takes longer than you expected. Stop tryna find something mythic and clasp onto the real.
The simple answer is you don’t.
“I want to find someone who loves me for me” is a bullshit cliche. If that is the direction you want to go with it then you need to build yourself up to be the best version of yourself you can be.
Love yourself, fix your confidence, and let it come to you.