Ick: Something someone does that is an instant turn-off for you, making you subconsciously hate the idea of being with them romantically. Like a special subconsciously feeling.
Context: I recognized I get the ick much sooner then I used to when I was in my teens. I am wondering if that will increase even more with age.
Comments
So much faster but it’s less the “ick” and more being turned off because my self esteem and standards are much higher and I place less value on male validation
Faster. I’m more experienced, less naive, I had many bad experiences and my friends too. I was dating before the metoo movement and this movement was life-changing. I know myself more and have more self-confidence.
I believe that’s the norm and men know it, which is why many of them prey on younger women.
I think the same rate I just have a longer list now but men hit my newer icks faster than my old ones. I assume it’s an age thing
It’s instantaneous in a lot of cases. Some manage to fool me for a bit. But I would say I’m finally in a place where I know myself in a way I didn’t when I was younger. I don’t have nearly as much patience either. I can cut someone off so fast if they start displaying behaviors I don’t like.
definitely slower. i was very quick to write people off when i was younger. now i understand that *everyone* has issues. picking a partner is more a matter of “picking your poison” (knowing what you can and can’t tolerate) than finding your soulmate.
Same. I’ve always been slightly repulsed by the majority of men.
Can we stop using the ick as a phrase?? We’re not tiktok children.
I just realize much quicker whether I’m interested or not. Sometimes it is because of appalling things, and sometimes it just doesn’t work.
Way, way faster for me. I’m super observant of people, how they talk, what they say and their actions. I can even sense their mood, more often than not. I can tell when they’re being fake, putting on a face or act, to an extent. All I know is how to observe and it makes me wonder how I missed it all before.
I’d say faster generally because I’m better at recognizing things that I don’t want to deal with, like subtle moments of misogyny that will eventually come up in worse ways.
Slower when it comes to traditional “icks” because I’ve let go of the things I wanted and am focusing on if someone has the character traits I need instead.
Faster. I haven’t found a single person who doesn’t give me the ick now, so I’ll just be single 😂. I’m fine, it’s fine.
So much faster. One thing happens and I nope the hell out almost immediately. When I try to ignore that gut feeling, I know I’m really into someone but the ick never lies.
How much is this due to you or simply the environment.
With the incentives for men and relationships there is a death of quality options after 30.
Getting the ick more may just be common sense.
I get the ick much faster as I get older. It’s really apparent when I look back at the guys I dated long-term in my 30s and 20s. I look back fondly the ones from my 30s, whereas I cringe when I think about the ones from my 20s. It’s because I stopped seeing icky guys after 1-2 dates, so I weeded them out quickly. The ones who stuck around were good guys, even if things ultimately didn’t work out.
“The ick” is supposed to be an otherwise neutral thing that randomly makes you un-attracted to someone, like he puts his socks on weird or the way he pronounces a word is weird.
I think using the ick to describe ‘recognizing misogyny’ diminishes the very real and very important growth in self preservation and self esteem and makes it easy to dismiss as mean girl stuff.
Dumping someone because he is rude to servers isn’t getting the ick, it’s recognizing a jerk and moving on.
Much MUCH faster. When I was young I was so naive and didn’t recognize hide intentions in men
So much faster lol. I know exactly what I want to a degree and if a guy just isn’t for me, I get the “ick” pretty quickly. Versus when I was young it seemed like I would give anyone a chance lol.
Faster. I was pretty ignorant when I was in my teens and 20s
Yes I was naive and love struck as hell when I was younger I didn’t even know icks existed unfortunately
I got the ick and sadly ignored it as a teen/young adult. We aren’t really taught to honour or recognize that!
Waaaaaaaay quicker. I’ve always been partial to getting the ick for any number of reasons, but I’m at the point in my life where if I don’t like the way you’ve typed your bio (speaking in terms of online dating) it’s a no for me
Definitely faster.
I’ve also been noticing a new worrisome trend lately over just the past couple of months where women are starting to try and shame other women for using the word “ick.”
I have no idea why this started. Feels like some bitter men managed to convince some women that it’s a “mean girl” word, and there’s a little bit of a NLOG reaction happening.
I hope it calms down.
Edit: And I don’t even use the word myself. It’s not really a part of the “lingo” where I live.
I just don’t like seeing women’s language and experiences getting policed. It worries me.
Totally different things cause me to ignore people now, it’s hard to say.
Not that much faster – but I trust my boundaries and gut feelings. I used to be open minded and give chances, I’ve stopped that as it did nothing but make me pay for it!
I’m not dating anymore but when I was, way faster. I learned to listen to and respect my intuition, and after dating a handful of walking red flags, you learn to recognize them a lot quicker.
At this point I start with the ick. So… Much faster.
The ick comes on so fast now that I can recognize irresponsible man-child behavior: financial problems (has enough money for toys but can’t afford groceries), weaponized incompetence regarding household chores (he’s a slob), emotional dependency (clingy).
Three of the men I’ve dated turned out to be exhausting man children who expected me to be their maid/cook/therapist and then seemed surprised when I lost interest in being intimate with them because I’ve basically become their mother.
I’m sorry but we are not even married so I am not cleaning your habitat, feeding you, and washing your nasty underwear, sir. Good luck attracting women with your trash heap.
The ick factor might be heightened due to the awareness and this is a great thing!! Pass it on to the younger girls coming up behind you as I think we are now going through a backlash to me too movement especially from fundamentalist Republican politicians.
I truly believe porn culture has ruined the majority of men, and their way of relating to women. I say this because I come from a more decent and innocent dating culture, and then had to date again after a long marriage, and the difference was stark. It is quite noxious now. Truly!
Faster for sure. But to be quite frank, I’m in my 40s and it’s rare for men in their forties to keep themselves fit, well groomed, well dressed, to care about their skin, etc. So I’m very rarely attracted to the men I meet who are around my age. Sad but true.
It’s definitely much more common for women to be concerned with maintaining their looks well into middle age despite all the misogynistic talk about how we supposedly “hit a wall.”
Yes but because I’m less… “forgiving” and accepting. I used to bend over backwards and justify anything. Now I’m like, “We are all old, we should know what we are doing.”
Things that give me ick tend to be actions that come off as childish, plain gross, or belatedly against my values. Like I’m not even near being in love or in lust and then they do something that is cringey and I can’t unsee/unhear/erase.
Much faster but a lot of that is due to experience and more trust in myself. When I was young and naive, I wanted to give everyone the benny of the doubt, but I’ve learned since then
Faster for sure
Faster. I have zero patience for stupid people and icky feelings the older I get. It’s honestly pretty great.