I grew up thinking that I was English, but I was American

r/

My sister and I were homeschooled for the first part of our lives.  Our mom taught us school lessons from the McGuffey Reader primers. First published in 1836, the books still had plenty of mentions of “our mother England”, and so I grew up thinking that I was English. I spoke English, after all, and many of our other books were from the same time period, so of course it made sense. We also did not have television or listen to anything but gospel music on the radio, so there was no one to tell me otherwise. 

We were taught all of the English Ladies’ Finishing School decorum, how to sit, cross your ankles, and how to curtsy. I asked, “When will I have to curtsy?” Mother said, “Well, in case you meet the Queen. Or when we have guests over for supper.”  And so we did. Not meet the Queen, but curtsy for guests. For some reason, they laughed. I thought that perhaps my curtsy wasn’t good enough, perhaps I didn’t spread my skirt wide enough or bow low enough, but I didn’t really know. Our parents, however, seemed very proud. 

I remember getting into an argument with a neighbor boy, who went to a heathen school, about how, in my opinion, even though we lived in America, we were English and had to respect our mother country. The boy was making fun of England and English people in a horrible English accent. He asked, “Do you eat crumpets? Want to come over for tea?” I did like tea, so I don’t know why he was insulting me with it, but somehow he was. I got upset and started crying, and yelled, “You don’t even deserve the Queen!”.  He laughed at me, and I cried even more.  

Eventually, I grew up and learned that yes, we did come from England, but my religious homeschooled culture was hundreds of years behind “normal” people’s view on the American “colonies”, and now I laugh at myself and how silly it was to think that way. I’m now college-educated and not religious at all, and find the whole thing pretty funny. 

Comments

  1. Hungry_World_573 Avatar

    Oi bruv, that’s bollocks. *fixed typo 😈

  2. Rough_Plan Avatar

    Okay wow. That’s got to be some kind of mental or emotional abuse impairing your education and knowledge like that. Sounds almost cult like.

    What I find strange is a book from 1836 would mention England in such a way. The Revolutionary War began in 1775 and ended in 1783. That puts the book off by a century I don’t think at that point in time America would refer to England as Mother England and one would think in England the war would have been mentioned in it’s history.

  3. Squidpunk24 Avatar

    Tay in a way

    Tay in a way

  4. Anonymous_Autumn_ Avatar

    What religious group was it? And what state? Really curious. At first I thought maybe you were raised Mormon, but they aren’t allowed caffeine I think. 

  5. Cannie_Flippington Avatar

    Man… as terrible as my homeschooling experience was I am so glad my parents at least had us go in for quarterly testing at a local private school so our scores could be registered with the state. This gave some accountability to the educational standards I received instead of the fly by the seat of your pants approach. It also helped that my mom had a Bachelor’s degree and studied both engineering and art.

  6. your_local_laser_cat Avatar

    Please please post this in r/homeschoolrecovery

  7. Indigo-Waterfall Avatar

    It’s so funny what people think “being English” is. I’ve never had to curtsy in my life. Haha

  8. AceOfSpades532 Avatar

    Jesus your mum sounds insane, what kind of religion makes you wank off England that much and act like it’s the 1800s

  9. doctormadvibes Avatar

    homeschooling should be a crime unless at least one parent is a licensed teacher

  10. Jumpy-Claim4881 Avatar

    This is very interesting. Thank you for sharing.

  11. WildMartin429 Avatar

    Did you ever ask your parents what their reasoning was and letting you believe you were a citizen of a different country than the country you are a citizen of?

  12. Manderthal13 Avatar

    You have manners that most of us can’t imagine.

    They say that a person can be dumb as a stump but if they’re well mannered they’ll be OK.

  13. SirTheRealist Avatar

    Sorry. This is funny af 🤣

  14. kytulu Avatar

    I was 35 years old when I found out that I (American citizen) was half French-Canadian. I was talking to my brother, and he asked me if I knew that we were part French. I knew that my late maternal grandmother spoke French, but that was as far as it went.

    The next time I was in town, I asked my mom about it. As the story goes, my grandmother was born in Canada, and she and her parents immigrated to the US during her childhood. Her parents were very traditional and insisted that she only marry another Canadian. So, my mom was born in R.I. as an American citizen, but technically she was a full-blooded Canadian.

    I was more upset that I had never been told the story before.

  15. Altruistic-Target-67 Avatar

    I think this is actually sweet. I grew up reading so many English children’s books that I knew I was American but thought I was sort of English too. If you haven’t read Educated by Tara Westover, you might enjoy it, or at least recognize yourself in a lot of it.

  16. advocatidiaboli91 Avatar

    No offense coz ur parents are rather horrid for doing that to you. But by Jove do you sound like a sweetheart and a half. You’ve certainly made the Queen (Liz ie) proud. Rule Britannia luv 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧❤️❤️

  17. CurvyGurlyWurly Avatar

    My grandmother had an original set of McGuffey’s. I loved them as a kid!

  18. BeginningPhilosophy2 Avatar

    The amish call anyone not amish ‘english’.

  19. Daisyonrepeat Avatar

    Another great example of ‘American education’ 😅😅😅😅

  20. Unique-Ratio-4648 Avatar

    The only way I’d believe this is real is if you lived in the remote Appalachians of Kentucky/West Virginia/Tennessee and were never exposed to the grocery store, any store, church, or anything else.

  21. CurseOfDragonite Avatar

    “You don’t even deserve the queen” is one hell of an insult

  22. unfoldingtourmaline Avatar

    calling public school ‘heathen school’ makes it sound very cultish

  23. Dumuzzid Avatar

    I don’t think you were wrong, culturally you really are English. It was the same in Australia, until quite recently, Australians were taught to think of themselves as English and they thought of England as home, even though they’ve never even been there.

  24. Prairie_Crab Avatar

    My very middle class American mother insisted that her children use impeccable manners, in case we were “invited to tea by the Queen.” Didn’t ever happen, darn it.

  25. glemits Avatar

    You should eat crumpets. They’re wonderful.

  26. Prestigious_Day_5242 Avatar

    Do you have a SSN#? Are you vaccinated for anything?

  27. meowsieunicorn Avatar

    Not homeschooled but I would ask my mom about how we would prepare if the Queen came to our house when I was a child. We lived in the middle of the bush in Canada, no way was the Queen gonna battle those bugs 🤣.

  28. NateTut Avatar

    The Horror!

  29. maddpsyintyst Avatar

    I sometimes joke about being a closet English person, but that’s way beyond anything I ever meant! 😂

  30. Lomax6996 Avatar

    The best part of your whole story is that you can laugh at it, TY!

  31. YellowCabbageCollard Avatar

    The McGuffey readers wouldn’t lead anyone to think they were English and under a queen. They don’t say that kind of stuff at all. Sorry. I don’t buy this. I was homeschooled in the early 90’s and knew lots of other homeschoolers and this just sounds like something who had no experience being homeschooled would make up. Even people homeschooled with crazy Bill Gothard materials wouldn’t ever think this. This is absolutely NOT in McGuffey readers.

  32. FioraHaze Avatar

    not u screaming “you don’t even deserve the queen” like it’s a war crime lmaoo that’s actually so cute i can’t. u were seriously livin in 1836 while the rest of the kids were watchin spongebob omg.

  33. AlthorsMadness Avatar
  34. chipperlovesitall Avatar

    And Bobs your uncle

  35. RobertoDelCamino Avatar

    Very nice story. To make it more believable you might want to drop referring to the United States as the “colonies.” It’s in conflict with your home school texts first being published in 1836 when the USA was 60 years old. I’ll give you a B+

  36. DoctorMedieval Avatar

    Username checks out.

  37. MarcusdOro Avatar

    You poor thing you have my deepest sympathies.

  38. RiveriaFantasia Avatar

    As an English person reading this I find it hilarious. It describes the root of an identity crisis, I hope you’ve had therapy or would consider it.

  39. Mumique Avatar

    As a Brit, we would happily welcome you with tea and crumpets. Curtseying optional 😉

  40. Aphroditesent Avatar

    Wow. This is just so wild to me. This is really a form of neglect to deprive you of a modern education in this way. I am so sorry you experienced this and the embarrassment and shame it must have caused you. I am so happy you are in college and have a broader view on the world now.

  41. Worldly-Pepper8766 Avatar

    That’s weird. I grew up being distrustful of the English and not in a very religious household and now I’m quite religious and…still don’t trust the English very much LOL

  42. join-the-line Avatar

    Sounds like mom took the English cos play a bit too far.