My mom died tonight.
found out a couple hours ago. i know i shouldn’t posting to reddit about it, but I’m alone in my room right now and losing my mind. my head has been reeling since I found out.
It was very sudden, and I had just gotten home from my own day out with my family to celebrate my mother’s day. After everything though, from now on i’m going to act like this holiday doesn’t exist.
Comments
So sorry for your loss hope you feel better soon🥀🥀❤️❤️❤️
That’s terrible and I know this isn’t a great time but rather than resenting mothers days you could also use it as a day to honour and remember her. Grieving is hard I can’t imagine losing My mom I’m sorry that happened to you to you. Don’t hesitate to ask for help as this is a very difficult thing to handle on ur own
So sorry for your loss <3
So sorry for the lost of your mom. My thoughts are with you
When you have kids, what are you going to do?
Sorry for your loss. It’s incredibly painful now, but the pain will fade. You will get through this. But for now, just grieve.
My condolences to you and your family.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing your mom, especially so suddenly, is unimaginable. There’s no ‘right’ way to grieve, and posting here isn’t wrong you’re just trying to breathe through the pain. Take your time, be angry, be numb, be whatever you need. This holiday will never be the same, and that’s okay. You’re not alone, even if it feels like it right now. My condolences!
So sorry for your loss 💔
I understand your grief, but at least every other mother’s day you can visit her with flowers, sit on the grass and just talk as if she was still there. I moved away from my abusive mother and my father was never around since I was 3 so I indirectly am an orphan. I get very sad during those mothers/fathers day but there’s no one for me to say that to so there’s no point for me to get upset abt it anymore.
It’s going to take time to grieve, so allow yourself time to be sad and hate the holiday. You will eventually come around and pass each Mother’s Day just fine. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t want you to be sad every year on this unfortunate day. May she rest in peace and may you find peace soon as well.🫶🏻
I’m sorry for your loss. Might she rest in peace 😔
Holy fuck, I’m sorry for your loss my dude. Stay strong. Stay Sane. Don’t be alone.
Condolences.
My Mom committed suicide the day after Mother’s day during a time we weren’t talking. This holiday is excruciatingly painful for me, but I refuse to ruin it for my kids. I’m so sorry for your loss and the awful timing of it all, but don’t punish yourself or your kids. Sending hugs.
Holy krap I’m sorry this happened
My condolences 💐
would you like to chat? you can tell me anything❤️❤️
I’m so sorry.
So very sorry for your loss 🙏
I’m so sorry for your loss 😪 I’m not going to tell you anything to make you feel better because I can’t and you won’t. You are going to hurt and you are going to go through all of the stages of grief and there is no time frame. You will always miss her and you will never not hurt that she’s gone. I do hope so much that you do not judge yourself through your grief. That you allow it to all be what it is. That you know it’s ok to hurt because it means you loved her. I hope so much you’re gentle with yourself through your pain. ❤️
So sorry for your loss!!
That must really suck your mom passed on all days of the year, Mother’s Day. Maybe you don’t have to stop celebrating it because that’s the day you know she passed, but maybe you can celebrate it as a day to have remembrance of all the things she has done to contribute to who you are now. Make her be here still, she is not gone, only physically from this world- but she is still here. What was her favorite thing to do? Maybe do that or hold space for these things. She’s still here, never forgotten. That’s goes as long as she’s remembered.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry. May her memory be a blessing
Angels Cry
In the hush of dawn, where memories play,
A gentle whisper calls on Mother’s Day.
Though shadows linger, and hearts may ache,
Let love’s sweet echo be the path we take.
For in the garden where her laughter bloomed,
Each petal tells a story, each fragrance consumed.
Though she has journeyed to the skies above,
Her spirit dances still, wrapped in endless love.
The angels cry, but not for sorrow’s sake,
They sing of joy, of the bonds we make.
In every tear that falls, a memory shines,
A testament to love that forever entwines.
So gather the moments, both tender and bright,
Light a candle of hope in the soft, fading light.
Celebrate her spirit, let her legacy soar,
For in your heart, she lives forevermore.
With every embrace, with every shared smile,
Honor her journey, let your heart reconcile.
For Mother’s Day is not just a day to mourn,
But a time to remember the love that was born.
So let the angels cry, let the heavens sing,
In the tapestry of life, she’s the thread that you bring.
Embrace the memories, let them guide your way,
For love knows no end, on this Mother’s Day.
I’m so sorry. She’s always with you. You have a journey ahead of you to find peace and healing from this. Keep your head up and lean into the grieving. ❤️
I lost my brother this week. I feel your heartache and pain. Sending you a hug.
I wish peace for you during this time of your loss <3
Sorry for your loss. You are right to feel the way you do about today and Mother’s Day.
Condolences to you and your family
Very Very Very sorry dear. Take a breath. Comfort yourself w what she might tell you to be ok. I’m sorry if it was sudden, it does happen, we must accept. My condolences to you, her family and friends.
My condolences, OP. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in your own children.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Today was my mom’s first mother’s day without my sister as she passed last July. At least there is no more suffering where she’s at.
❤️
I’m feeling sad today with out my momma. It’s was so sudden and sad way she went alone at young age.
I’m sorry for you loss 💔😭
I’m so sorry, please take good care of yourself
I’m so very sorry for your loss😔❤️
My heart goes out to you. Losing a parent is hard I couldn’t imagine it happening on a holiday for them. I haven’t celebrated mother’s day since 2021 when my mom passed. I know we are random strangers but you shouldn’t be alone and can message me if you need someone to talk to.
I heard on NPR today that they studied grief after 9/11 in New York and they learned that there is no correct way to mourn, heal, or grieve. Some people process pain through talking to others and it helps, some want to process it alone and talking to others makes it worse. So processing through a confession on Reddit is absolutely okay!
Some people compartmentalize because they can’t cope with life otherwise and so they set aside time to cry and mourn and let it out and then put it away again so they can function in the rest of their lives.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine how hard it must be. Do whatever you need to do for yourself. It may feel extra hard to do that since you have kids, but taking care of yourself is important for their wellbeing too.
Someone close to me lost their mother over 10 years ago. He says the pain never leaves but he has learned to see the pain as love for his mom and that makes it bearable and he even likes feeling sad now on holidays like this and other important dates. He lights a candle and visits her grave with his siblings.
His sister has talked about how important it is to heal and that she was able to do that and really wishes her brothers would go to therapy or whatever they need to do in order to heal and not let it keep them injured. Another sibling is an alcoholic and talks about suicide and makes dangerous choices that may end up in his death. They were all super close to her and she was the most important thing to them. Some of the siblings are super bonded to each other because of it as well.
In grief therapy for myself I learned that the stages of grief are misrepresented all the time. They are stages that many go through. But not everyone goes through all of them and not always in the same order.
I also learned that grief can come in waves where you think you are okay, or have healed but then it shows up again out of the blue. Another way grief can manifest is a lack of emotions. And people may wonder if it is proof they didn’t actually love them or there is something wrong with them. But that isn’t the case. It’s the brain’s way of coping and it may hit them hard later or they may be able to accept it more easily than others.
All of this to say, there is no right or wrong way. Your mind and body may react differently than you expect and your job is to love yourself through it. Give yourself the compassion and care you need in whatever way is best for you. It may be trial and error. Some people need to throw themselves into work to distract for a while, others need to take time off to themselves to process.
I’m proud of you for posting this and I hope the love and support you get here helps in any small way it can to at least know you are not alone in having to go through this and we all have compassion for what you’re going through. Losing loved ones is one of the worst things about life that we all experience at some point.
The one thing I can say is that you WILL get through this. Unfortunately though that way is through. You can’t circumnavigate grief. But you can do it in YOUR way. So please don’t let others good intentions of trying to tell you what helped them or what they think might help, hurt you instead, if you can help it. And remind yourself if you need to, that there are a million ways to grieve and if you need help you can find it.
So many different ways. I talked to a Zen Buddhist monk years ago who told me that though they are gone, the way your loved ones “still exist is within you and the things they passed on to you.” Perhaps how you chop vegetables like she taught you and you will teach your kids. You can see your mother in that because that is her way, that she gifted you. Others believe you will see her again when you die, and yet others have lost all faith in something beyond death. And there is so much more. There is even a group meetup of people that have all lost parents who get together and have dinner every now and then so they can be around others who have experienced this specific type of loss because it’s something you can’t truly understand until you’ve lost your parental figure(s). They have chapters around the country. I forgot the name but it is out there if that sounds like something you would be interested in.
Whatever path speaks to you is available for you. And I hope you find some comfort in some way throughout this process. I am so sorry you are going through it. I know it sucks. And no one can make it stop being what it is and hurting like it does. But you can nurture yourself through this in the way(s) that feels right to you. And if something is making it harder for you, please seek out another method of coping and getting through this.
Sending you love from my heart.
I’m so sorry. There’s nothing to be said or done right now that will make you feel better. You’ll always miss her, but there will come a day when the grief changes, and thinking of her makes you smile again, before the memory that she’s gone surfaces. And even then it will have softened into more of a melancholy feeling than the devastation you’re feeling now. Such a cruel part of life, having to lose your parents. Hang in there. You’ll make it through this.
You most definitely can celebrate mother’s day. If you have siblings or other family members you can spend every future mother’s day celebrating the amazing life that she had while she was alive. Do all of the things that make you think of the fondest memories of her. It’s going to be hard but having an emotional support system with you will help make days like today much easier.
Just because she isn’t standing right beside you doesn’t mean you no longer have a mother.
I’m so sorry 💔❤️🩹
I’ve also lost my grandfather couple days before mother’s day so I know the feeling just keep firm and remember that this is life and we all have to go at some time
Sorry. You may feel orphaned. Find good company
My condolences. So sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss 💔
My condolences!
That’s horrible, I lost my mom on my birthday, I feel your pain .
I’m so sorry for your lost
Wow…I am so sorry
I’m so sorry about your mom 🥺 I can’t say anything because I don’t know what it’s like to lose your mom or dad. I don’t want to say “don’t say that” because I can’t. Only you know how you’re feeling right now. I just want you to know that as a stranger that this breaks my heart for you. Sending love and hugs for you and your family. 💐
God, I can’t imagine the pain, I’m so sorry…