If you’re married, did you settle for your partner and how? Are you happy overall? Same questions for those who didn’t settle, but still found their partner.
If you’re married, did you settle for your partner and how? Are you happy overall? Same questions for those who didn’t settle, but still found their partner.
Comments
No, I didn’t settle for him. I chose him.
When I was younger I thought maybe I did. Not because he wasn’t a good partner but because we met so young and I thought maybe (just a tiny part of me) I was settling for the first decent guy instead of exploring more. Now 20 years later? No way. I absolutely made the right choice. If anything, he settled for me 😆
This really depends on how you define “settling.”
Some people say “I settled” and mean “I wanted someone model-hot and rich and artistic who rides a motorcycle and we have mind-blowing sex every day, but I married a regular-cute guy with a good job and a reliable car and we have good sex a few times a week.”
Some people say “I settled” and mean “it would be nice to be with someone with a steady job, but I guess a few hours of DoorDash a week is fine, and his temper isn’t that much of a problem as long as I’m careful not to piss him off”
Some people say “I settled” and mean “it’s always been really important to me to be with someone very intelligent and educated, but I compromised on this guy because he was really into me and I know he’d be a great dad, and secretly I feel like I don’t completely respect him and I feel embarrassed when he shows his ignorance of world events in front of my friends”
I settled in the first way. Virtually everyone does. I recommend it. I definitely don’t recommend settling in the second two ways.
Married, did not settle. We’ve known each other for a million years and dated lots of other people before finally making things work between us. We both dated enough to know for certain that we got the best in each other— FOR each other. We’re very happy overall. And like every couple/marriage, some days are still easier than others! Some days he bugs me half to death and on those days I begrudgingly remember that there’s definitely nobody better out there for me lol.
Hahahahahhahaaha god no. He’s wonderful
did not settle. we met by a sort of a wild turn of luck and been together ever since. it wasn’t always easy to build a life together, but now that it’s been a few years and we’re married, i can’t imagine being anywhere else or w anyone else.
No and that’s why I’m still happy.
No.
But I probably should have.
No, I didn’t settle. I knew very early in life the type of partner I wanted, I knew I had to stay away from dysfunctional nightmares, and I was very fortunate to detect he was the kind of person I needed, even-thought I was not even 20 YO when we met. I am very happy in my relationship, we are a team and have built a great life together.
Nope, I didn’t settle for my partner. We did, however, only get married because I got pregnant. We’d been together for only 2 years at that time. We’ve been married for 4 years now. Things are great 🙂
I did and it did not work out well. I was 29 and experiencing pressure from my grandmother and father, he was 30 and his two older siblings had spouses and children. I’m sure he felt some pressure too. Poor us feeling so lonely thinking we had to do this.
For ME and please I truly mean just IMO don’t freak out.
I think people who settle think many things. But mainly that they just need to settle down else they’ll be alone forever. Youth is fleeting so they choose not being alone over being truly loved and truly happy.
Sometimes they’re insecure and can’t believe anyone else would love them and now they’ve got 4 kids and are miserable and feel like they can’t leave cus of the kids.
Sometimes you’re young think you guys are fine and then boom you’re pregnant and you realize your young blind ignorance led you here… and it’s either you get left/leave them and be a single mother (insanely hard not to mention the social stigma and draining BS from everyone and everything) so you decide to stay and make it work and just grow resentful over the years…
Sometimes they’re abused and keep thinking their partner will changed and then boom they’ve now got 3 kids and are miserable but won’t leave.
Either way, it’s easier said than done but I never.. truly never recommend just settling. Find someone who truly loves you in a way you’ve never been loved before. They’re gentle, kind, always speak to you with RESPECT… and never forget that life isn’t worth it if you’re miserable with your friends, partner, family, job etc.
If you’re not on the same page, if you ignore red flags, if they’re not the one… you’ll be miserable whether you wanna recognize it or not.
Idk I just know if I woke up one day and heard my husband “settled” for me I’d be absolutely crushed and would have felt like I wasted my time and my life. And I’d leave.
To be a husband to ME is an insanely high honor. To be a wife to me is an important and high honor title. I don’t think anyone should be given it if they don’t truly deserve it. If they don’t prove day in and day out they deserve it.
I know millions of people don’t think the same way I do but… I don’t just get married for fun… because I’m lonely… because I’m bored because I’m ignoring red flags and praying they’ll stop being red… because idk 100 other things. I’ve got a ring on my finger because I deserve it and he’s got one because he deserves it.
No settling here. Best decision I ever made.