My Dad Nagged Me Into Recording Vocals On A Song He Wrote. The Song Turned Out To Be About The Woman He Was Having An Affair With.

I (35M) been a professional, gigging musician for the last twelve years and my dad has always been crossing boundaries and trying to live vicariously through me (he even “jokingly” refers to himself as Murray Wilson – look it up kids).

Last year, he told me he was going to go into a studio to record a song he wrote. He asked if I knew any vocalists. I said try craigslist or hang out an open mic (I was not going to volunteer). He eventually asks me several days later. I told him I’m really busy with other projects and gigs. He then stalks my website and sees that I’m going to be playing a gig right near the studio he’s recording at and says “hey, why don’t you just do it on this day so you’ll be in the same area anyways?”

Going against the advice of my therapist, I finally give in and say “fine, fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Famous last words.

I don’t get the lyrics or the song demo until like three days before the session date. Which is fine – my dad’s an amateur and I know he’s not gonna write any difficult vocal melodies. But the lyrics are what struck me. They very clearly told the story of a lover he had when he was very young. At this point, my dad had been living with long time girlfriend of 27 years (the woman he left my mom for). As far as I knew, the only serious relationship my dad had when he was young was with my mother. So I’m like “bro – are you having me sing a song about how much you miss Mom??.”

I record the song – and it was a miserable experience. My dad thought it would be “cool” to bring his friends into THE FUCKING RECORDING ISOLATION BOOTH so they could “watch how the sausage gets made.” My dad kept dropping his cane too so I had to do multiple takes. It was awful. But at least, it was over.

Right?

No. One month later my siblings and I get a text from my dad, telling us that “he’s getting tossed out.” I meet up with my dad in person to ask what the fuck is going on.

He says “son, remember that song you helped me record?”

“….yeah…”

“Well that song was about my high school girlfriend. And oh man we’re crazy about each other. Seriously, she was the love of my life.”

As opposed to the mother of your children, got it.

Apparently, when my dad posted the final recording of the song on his Facebook, his old high school girlfriend JUST HAPPENED to add him on Facebook (how miraculous and serendipitous!!). They started talking and according to my dad, “things got out of hand,” and he was caught by his girlfriend.

So yeah, remember when I asked myself “what’s the worst that can happen?” Well, that was the absolutely the worst thing could have and DID happen.

Needless to say, I feel horribly violated and taken advantage of. As I mentioned in the beginning, my dad has a long history of crossing boundaries when it comes to my music career but this was such a flagrant and insane disregard of my feelings. I didn’t even know that the boundary of “please don’t use my talents to help you cheat on the woman you left my mother for” was a boundary I even needed to set.

I hope this serves as a sobering reminder of the importance of standing firm in your boundaries. Even the smallest of capitulations can lead to complete and utter anarchy.