I am just wondering people first time sex do you find yourself getting soft during sex or when putting on a condom over the penis and it went soft?
My experience is the above and when during our sex I get soft within 3-5 minutes is this because its my first time and the more i have sex and try new things it would get better?
Is this because im use to masturbating while I was single and now I have a girlfriend it will take time for my penis to get use to vagina to stay erect?
Comments
Yeah. In retrospective, it makes sense to train with condom alone before, you don’t want to learn it while your date sits there waiting for you.
Awful, up a tree. Came in a few seconds. Thought her vagina was near her belly button 😂
I was dating one of the hottest girls in school (I still think she was the hottest, I could be biased because she’s my wife), and she was in her cheerleader uniform. We started in missionary but when I flipped her over and was hitting it from the back I remember seeing her butthole for the first time and literally looking to my ceiling and mouthing “thank you God.” I came seconds later. 10/10, would go back in time and screw my wife for the first time again.
As for your problem staying hard, I’d bet that’s temporary. Yeah when we’re virgins, we get so used to jerking off that sex might be confusing your body and brain lol. Could be performance anxiety too. Just keep on trucking and it’ll probably subside eventually. I’d recommend not jerking off for a while, see if that helps.
Well, I was 23. I had read quite a bit about sex, and the problems that other men had, so I tried to be prepared for anything. For example, what you described, the less stimulation from vaginal sex compared to masturbation, I just gradually decreased the pressure I used while masturbating, and over time it took less ‘squeezing’ to get myself off. I practiced putting a condom on enough times, so that I could accomplish it in seconds, by having the wrapper opened and the condom on the night stand, ready to use, so there wasn’t any significant delay that might make me lose my erection. And then, I had read up on how to give cunnilingus so if I did ‘go soft’, I would simply slide myself down and give her oral. I eventually simply added doing that for her after I came, since I learned that most women can’t reach orgasm by intercourse alone (despite the claims by men that ‘MY women ALWAYS have orgasms with me!). Communication is important; I never had a woman complain about me asking them things.
This was my experience. Try hand and mouth stuff. Give up masturbating and porn entirely. If you succeed, tell me how.
Also, your boner is two arteries. Your thighs, ass and abdomen all have arteries, and you pump them to hump. The motion can draw the blood away from your boner. Doing cardio regularly, or taking L Citruline can keep you hard. They sell it at vitamin stores.
You’re probably just nervous dude.
The more you think about getting soft, the more stressful it becomes.
The more stressful it becomes, the more floppy you get.
Then you’re then stuck in a (literal) downward spiral.
Don’t worry – this stuff takes time, trust, practice, patience etc.
Once it clicks it’ll be great!
I had similar issues.
It’s a combination of engrained expectations from watching porn and the sensations from masturbation and the anxiety about staying hard while using the condom. It takes time, patience and support from your GF to break this habit. You need to relearn the arousal from touch and not so much the look, the sensations of having sex in the condom.
You can negotiate having a bit more light during sex, visual stimulation is important to men. Start gradually with having some light during foreplay, respecting her boundaries but recognizing your needs for visual stimulation too.
I never learned to have sex with the condom on, I am just not sensitive enough (could be nerve damage from early masturbation with death-grip?) that’s why the hookup culture never worked for me. I was always in long-term relationships that allow for time for adjustment to each other and sex without a condom.