I have no confidence to wear lipstick. Any words of encouragement?

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I frequently worry that I will come across as ‘ too much ‘ if I wear lipstick. Women who overcame this obstacle…do you have any words of encouragement?

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  1. Badmouths Avatar

    Maybe you could start with something like tinted lip balms and work your way up to lipsticks! I actually prefer tinted lip balms cause lipsticks dry out my lips lol.

    If you prefer starting with lipsticks, maybe try nudes first so it’s not too different from your natural lip color. As you get more used to it and gain some more confidence, you can try playing around with different colors and finding out which colors suit you best!

  2. ThatLilAvocado Avatar

    Are you sure you want to wear lipstick?

  3. Firm-Interaction-653 Avatar

    I am always so jealous of ladies rocking lipstick. It will completely up-level your makeup look. Do it! I know I get self conscious trying new things in front of people who know me so maybe try it when you go somewhere like shopping

  4. capricioustrilium Avatar

    Try wearing black lipstick in a completely impersonal situation. Go to a grocery store on the other side of town. You’ll see that it’s no big deal

  5. carlinha1289 Avatar

    Depending on my mood and how much I want to be seen, I often change from gloss, to tint, to lipstick in different shades and textures. Start with something thar you’re comfortable with and rock it!

  6. heidismiles Avatar

    Try a shade that is just slightly darker/bolder than your natural lips.

  7. snarkypant Avatar

    Try something that is the color of the inside of your lip. It gives you a “my lips but better” finish.

  8. DConstructed Avatar

    If you live in the USA go to a Sephora and tell the salesperson that you want a very natural one thst looks like your lip color but a little deeper.

  9. The_foodie_photog Avatar

    Buy the brightest color you can find, and follow the other’s advice about walking it around the block.

    Jump in feet first.

  10. meggaregg Avatar

    I struggle with wearing hats! my friends and I joke that people are gonna know we’re not “real” hat people. but the only way to get over it is to wear the hat 🤭 maybe you can start with a subtle color lipstick(or lip balm) and work your way up to something bold over time!

  11. PrinceofCanino Avatar

    Good advice in the thread. Will add that I recommend just wearing it around the house for a while until you get used to it. I thought lipstick looked so odd on me when I first started wearing it. So I wore at home and felt comfortable in it pretty quickly. It also lets you test the wear time and eating and drinking without worrying if it smudged in public.

  12. Jaguar-Voice-7276 Avatar

    This is something I have read and sometimes practice: Bold eye, neutral lip. Bold lip, neutral eye.

    I don’t always go bold on either, and I definitely don’t do a lot with my face, as foundation etc look very cakey or flaky on me. (I am old, haha). But I do love doing my eyes and slapping on some lipstick.

  13. CaterinaMeriwether Avatar

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  14. lightningface Avatar

    I find that because I am not used to what I look like wearing it, it always feels like too much. So my suggestion is to wear it more often, and even when you’re not going somewhere or anywhere special, just to get used to it as a way you could look.

  15. Competitive_Fee_5829 Avatar

    do errands in lipstick. I had the issue years ago after wearing nude lips and smokey eyes for forever, lol. I would put brighter or darker lipstick on to go to the grocery store or post office while being dressed super casual. I did it this morning at 8am…in pjs and put lipstick on to drop off packages at the post office. It makes me feel dressed up now. I will say that I am not a red lipstick wearer but I like berries and purples.

  16. StrangerThingies Avatar

    Have you ever in your life seen a woman and thought she was “too much” because she was wearing lipstick? I haven’t. And anyone who might hold that judgment doesn’t deserve to dictate what you do.

  17. kaisii43 Avatar

    I had this when I was younger mainly from my mother and other old fashioned women. I went into Sephora one day and got matched with three perfect shades and now when I want feel like a million bucks I put on my red lipstick. When I want to wear makeup but feel lazy I just put some foundation mascara and a bold red and turn heads

    Go find your perfect shades and you’ll see how confident you feel

  18. henicorina Avatar

    Have you ever looked at another woman and thought her lipstick was too much? Personally when I see a woman with a bold red lip I feel a little jealous.

    Trust that the people around you are, on average, no more judgemental than you are.

  19. hereforthestories03 Avatar

    Just don’t wear BRIGHT RED. It doesn’t look good on ANYONE no matter the skin tone!!! Anything else should be perfectly fine

  20. dragonfeet1 Avatar

    Get a shade that’s just off nude. I wear Saucy Mauve by L’Oreal as my ‘I should put SOMEThING on my lips to look like I’m trying’ and it’s not overpowering at all. Find a slightly off nude (a little mauve, a little browner, a little pinker) than your lip color and go for it.

  21. aussiewlw Avatar

    Are you wearing it with a face full of makeup? IMO lipstick only looks good with a full face of it especially if it’s a shade like red

  22. blueavole Avatar

    Do what you want.

    I just walked two blocks without shoes because my strap broke . I had a pair of flip flops in my car.

    Nobody said a thing.

    Do what you like and nobody will give you problems. If you are worried about shade, bring a friend to help you pick some options.

  23. norfnorf832 Avatar

    Two options:

    Ease into it with some tints and wear it on a quick errand to cvs or somethin

    Or

    Cold plunge. Wear brightass red lipstick to the mall on a saturday afternoon. Take in the looks during your interactions, then realize no one is paying that much attention and I mean that in the best way

  24. waltybishop Avatar

    I have scar tissue from biting my bottom lip after a bad landing just doing a trial to see if I liked gymnastics, and lipstick just never stays on it at all….so please, do it for me 😭

  25. Feeling-Rush-143 Avatar

    Try gradient lips its an Asian beauty trend with lipstick that makes it look less bold (place it in mainly the middle of your top and bottom lips then use your finger to spread it to each corner, up and down. Blending it slightly. Finish with a gloss if you like the shine too or a chapstick) you can look on pinterest to see what I mean

  26. wardrobeeditor Avatar

    Hi, personal stylist here! I mean this as a genuine question, too much for who??

    I hear this from clients a lot and when I talk them through it, they often realize it’s not as real of a concern as they previously thought.

    The patriarchy taught us to fear being “too much” so we shrink ourselves, be quiet and be pleasing to men.

  27. x-tianschoolharlot Avatar

    More people listen to me when I wear bold lipstick.

  28. Rubycon_ Avatar

    Just put it on for yourself at first, see how you like it

  29. the-agressivecat Avatar

    Same in my life I have never used lipsticks ; I just use lip balms or lip tints .

  30. Pinappular Avatar

    So, I’m a director level professional.

    Honey, women in the business environment are going to get shit no matter what. Too quiet…wallflower. Talk over a man… arrogant bitch. Wears suits…elitist. Wears formal dresses and skirts… airhead or trying too hard. Makeup… fake. No makeup… too good for makeup. Colorful hair… childish. Get recognized as an expert or get a big cert… trying too hard.

    If you think you will like something, why not?

    I went to work at a company as a guy, and within a week of transitioning, I was on our Friday company call in a blouse. It’s not easy, but I’ve been learning that life is pretty short.

    My two cents, I’m not trying to push you girlie, just learned overtime that caring what people think about your appearance and identity gives you less of an advantage than you might hope.

  31. Spoonbills Avatar

    Look for what they call ‘my lips but better’ and practice applying it lightly but precisely with a lip brush.

  32. urawizrdarry Avatar

    Fuck anybody and everybody who thinks your body doesn’t belong to you. You have the right to wear your lipstick. The ability to wear make up belongs to you, the lipstick and your body belong to you. And if they have a problem? They deal or put their life on the line fighting to pry it out of your cold dead hands.

    Or at least that’s the pep talk I give myself when I try something new.

    But I usually find that people look the first day or two and move on by the third and I keep living my life. Kind of like getting them used to the idea that this is how things are now until I need a new change. I try a lot of new things so it’s just become normal. They either like it or they mind their business.

  33. NotTomPettysGirl Avatar

    I have spent literal decades trying to find a shade of lipstick that was flattering. A friend recommended Clinique’s Black Honey lipstick and I adore it. It seems to be flattering for all skin tones. Worth checking out.