So this may just be me (47 F) but I think there is an unspoken rule in toilets where if you are… depositing friends and making bodily noises, that any other people in the toilet area must vacate the toilet/wash area before you leave your stall. This is so you don’t inadvertently see a coworker and they then have that experience forever stuck in their heads associated with you. This has lead to the occasional standoff where you have to out wait the other person or give in and go first (to which they wait for you to leave). Very occasionally I have thought someone was in there only to find I was having a lone standoff…
Anyway yesterday I was having a particularly gassy day (we’d had coleslaw the night before) and I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. I heard someone else come in and in that time, a large gas explosion errupted echoing through the stalls. I heard the other person leave as per etiquette. However I was distracted and didn’t allow the requisite time for them to wash up and leave. So I went into the wash area, not thinking, and this is where I FU. It was my coworker. Who was sitting next to me that day. And no-one else. Just me in all my rocket fuel driven glory.
She’s not in the office today… soo…
TL;DR: Yesterday I farted loudly in the toilet while a coworker (sitting at the work desk next to me) was in there and she saw it was me and now she’s not in today and it’s awkward..
Edit: Hey all, I posted a comment but I think it got buried, so posting here. This was a humerous take on something that happened. For context, I grew up in a cult that very much shamed women for existing. But I’ve worked through the issues. There was a time when I would have thought this way, but I don’t anymore. I rip it with the best of them and poop in the bathroom at work often without shame (the only time it’s embarassing is when the cleaner is waiting at the door to clean straight after you’ve declared war on the porcelain and you know they are going in unprepared – RIP cleaner). Actually the real FU was I spent so long in the work bathroom typing this post (while pooping 😂) that the auto lights turned off and it was bloody dark. Did I think to turn the torch on, on my phone? No. I fumbled around in the dark waving my arms frantically trying to get the lights to turn on before someone walked in and discovered me in the darkness. Although that could have made for a good prank. But we have some very pregnant ladies in our office and I don’t wanna have to catch a baby.
Comments
As a man, this would be the opposite, it sounds like the co worker won and they are just being humble about it.
Edit: misread. Sounds like you won, coworker should have high fived, and congratulated you on purging the demons without needing a priest.
Considering these are perfectly natural processes we have little control over, who cares.
Perhaps you need to be reminded that everyone farts. Everyone shits. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Damn, you are 47 years old and care about something so ridiculous ? That’s honestly a bit shocking.
TIL there are adults who are still embarrassed about basic bodily functions. When this story started I thought you were going to say you actually addressed their bowel movement out loud to them/in front of others and was going to agree it was a fuck up. However, just doing your thing and getting up and washing your hands to leave is a fuck up to you? I don’t know, just do what you gotta do and get back to work. No wonder people spend so much time in the bathroom if they’re all having the Pooxican standoff in there.
Everyone does it, you’re off the hook
Nah, get louder. Assert dominance.
Proclaim loudly…YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIT…such a good time
Me and my coworkers.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-Px3aNvG_Es
She’s probably relieved it was in the bathroom and not at your desk… or she just located the source of that smell that’s been bothering her all day.
Public restrooms are a nightmare.
Never heard of such a rule I think you made this one up for yourself
I get it. I try to follow the rule too. I was raised to be very proper and cultured. I love singing, literature and poetry. But as a man, I’ll be real. If someone did what you did and came out of the stall, I would be tempted to congratulate them hah! Like if someone came out of the stall, we made eye contact and there was any trace of amusement in their face I would bust out an impressed, hearty belly laugh. Everyone does it. Some of us are just too cowardly to do it in front of others.
Now if it smelled terrible that is a bit different. There are rules against chemical warfare…
My friend was just remarking that all office building bathrooms should have heavy metal playing in them to cover up the…..noises.
This is SO foreign to me. I never even notice what noises my stall neighbor is making!
Use a curtesy flush to mask your noises , also helps with odors when dumping.
I never heard the rule you mentioned . American have very puritan views on bathroom use .
You, almost 50 years old, went to the bathroom and farted. And are embarrassed?
Look, I get it. It’s embarrassing to have someone know anything about your bowel movements.
But like, if your coworker looks at you differently knowing that you were gassy 1 day? That’s on them. That’s not a reasonable expectation to have of people, for them to never have gas that comes out at work. Nor is it reasonable to expect people, who are there to do a job, to hide away so that no one sees them.
Please, let go of the idea that them booking off work has anything to do with the you either. If it does, that is truly unhinged behaviour that really doesn’t reflect on you at all.
It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Everyone has gas and the bathroom stall is the correct place for it when in public.
I am aware of no such rule. I am not spending more time in the bathroom than necessary!
You just called it “depositing friends”?? The mere fact that you just called it “depositing friends” tells me that you’re not ready to deposit friends.
It’s a women’s bathroom rule, and it’s kinda the worst – cause you’re either kept prisoner or have to find another bathroom (or the absolute worst, hold it).
Sorry, OP, that sucks!
As a yoga teacher, we are trained to encourage students to fart.
The pose “Pawanmuktasana” literally translates to “wind relieving pose”. Yes! That is what they are referring to.
There is a “category” (for lack of a better term) of poses where gas relief is not a surprise.
When I’m in that situation I flush the toilet as I let it all out to cover up the noise
Your FU was an inevitable interaction in a shared bathroom? Why are spending a second of energy thinking about this?
Gonna teach you a new trick.
“courtesy flush”
Flush as you’re doing your thing to minimize odor and sound!
I lost my shit over “gas explosion erupted echoing through the stalls”
Absolutely dyyyyyyying LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
It’s best to do this like Randy from South Park
Everybody poops
You should seek a therapist. Feeling self conscious about taking a shit is not normal.
Guys some of you are taking this way too seriously. It was lighthearted. No I don’t genuinely care that I farted or that it was my coworker in the bathroom. I used certain words because they were funny to me. I’m still laughing about it especially with my coworker unusually absent today (no I don’t think it’s related). Trust me, I can rip one with the best of them 🙂
Next time fan the toilet door for ventilation, and be sure to strut when you walk to the sink.
I thought I was the only one following this rule because nobody around me seem to! Which necessitates my toilet trips being extra stealthy and strategically planned.
Who does number 2 work for!?
The toilet room is for toilet noises so LET IT RIP that’s what you’re there for.
> I think there is an unspoken rule in toilets where if you are… depositing friends and making bodily noises, that any other people in the toilet area must vacate the toilet/wash area before you leave your stall.
Guys don’t do this. I mean, everyone shits and everyone farts. Regardless of your age, race, sex, and gender.
Why would that even be a thing?
This is wild. I was raised that no one sees or hears anything in the bathroom. Everyone is Hellen Keller in bathroom.
It’s a toilet. People shit.
Highly doubt your co-worker stayed home because you farted.
Grow up. The only rule that exists is that you flush and wash your hands. Everything else is fair game.
That unspoken rule is your own. Never heard anyone else with that rule.
Everybody poops.
I, personally, have never judged anyone in a restroom for what they do in there.
If I hear people fart/burp I tend to be like “do you feel better now?” Especially if people look embarrassed.
THIS is a <shitpost>. ☝️☝️
I have it on good authority that women dont fart.
I have never heard of this etiquette.
You are 47. Who cares if you farted. Jesus.
Ya Poopin’? In The Poopin’ Room?
that a stupid rule you impose to yourself, here nobody cares about that
Well dang, I’m at a loss here. There’s a joke here but I can’t quite sniff it out
Why do girls try to insist we don’t poop? Just do your business and move on with your day.
I used to be very self conscious about that. Then I realized everyone farts.
If you think this is the unspoken rule for work toilets, let me tell you a story. There I was, dropping some kids off at the pool. Like many corporate offices, we had badges, and I had mine clipped to my belt, so it was around my ankles, and I was in the stall right next to the urinals. Then someone walks up to use the urinal, looks over and sees my badge, and says “Hey /u/grimmolf ! How’s your day going?” like it was the most normal thing in the world to strike up conversation. I was mortified, and I just froze, and didn’t respond at all. He continued to make akward conversation for a few minutes before leaving. I will never forget this in my life.
Aaaand, that’s why I take my pants off and hang them up when I use the bathroom now.
It’s just you. The rest of us don’t give a shit.
“Anyway yesterday I was having a particularly gassy day (we’d had coleslaw the night before)”
This was my favourite part of the story. And possibly the best thing I’ve read on Reddit this year.
ASSERT DOMINANCE! FART LOUDLY!!
Well, that’s kinda awkward, but hey, everyone farts, tho…
This is not an unspoken rule.
That being said, unspoken rules are dumb af and not real rules.
Came here to say I RIP IT WITH THE BEST OF THEM 😂❤️💅