I started my first seasonal job and first kitchen job last week and last night the chef was off so I had to cook dinner for our guests by myself. He helped me get things organized in the morning and gave me a few pointers for the evening but obviously it was all up to me. When I got to the kitchen at about 4 I was feeling great. I had set the rolls to proof at the time he told me and I just had some easy prep to do. Until I remembered that one of the guests was vegetarian and I would need to make something for her. No big deal, I used to be vegan I have handle that. I whipped up a quick marinade for a tofu steak, I kinda winged it but was confident it would be fine.
I knew dinner was at 6:30 so I was timing everything accordingly and was on track to finish at just about 6:25 to have time to plate everything. Well, at 5:55 people started coming into the kitchen and getting wine glasses for guests. I was surprised, usually guests don’t sit down until about 5 minutes before a meal. And I said so to one of my coworkers. She looked at me and slowly shook her head. “Its at 6….” She said quietly. Well fuck.
I had somehow screwed up the time and now had at least 15 minutes until things would START to be ready. The rolls were in the oven but had aggressively over proofed meaning I had gotten THAT time wrong too. I was scrambling but there was literally nothing I could do but wait. I decided to start cooking the tofu to make sure it was warm all the way through. I popped a pan on the stove to heat it up but those damn stoves have 2 setting. Off and on, no low or medium (maybe thats normal but I’ve never been in a commercial kitchen before). So after a few minutes I poured some of the marinade into the pan to cook the tofu in (not really sure why I did that??? It had a good amount of olive oil in it but also balsamic…. I was starting to lose the plot at this point). Anyway, I put some of the liquid in and the damn thing erupts into flames. I froze. No one was in the kitchen with me so there was no one to react better but almost immediately the fire started to die down and after maybe 30 seconds it was out. Fuck I was terrified. We had done a fire safety training literally 2 days before and I had totally just failed. Well I was so flustered that I didn’t think to turn on the overhead fan so about 5 minutes later the smoke alarm went off. Of course I knew exactly why that was happening and the owner had just stepped out but came back when she heard it. I’m not sure if she knew it was the smoke alarm or just a loud timer (the kitchen timer sounds very similar) but she didn’t say anything to me about it. And also it was a non issue. There was no big fire, everything was fine. But I was scared it had alerted the fire dept. And yes I know thats not how it works but I was freaking out.
Luckily one of my coworkers got it turned off quickly and came in to check on me. I was so close to breaking down into tears. I was pissed at myself, embarrassed, stressed, everything. But I pulled myself together, got dinner served up and the second it was done I hightailed it outside, past some coworkers who I knew were worried (I am the same age as their kids and I can feel their parental concern/instincts often and it is usually appreciated) they asked if I was okay and I said I was just going on a walk and would be back in a few to get dessert ready. I walked up the hill and finally let myself cry for a few minutes. I knew it wasn’t a huge deal. The food was all on the table by 6:20 and no one was complaining, the guests were just having a nice time chatting etc but I felt like an idiot. How could I have possibly gotten the time wrong? Dinner had been at 6pm every other day, why in god’s name did I think it was at 6:30?
I got myself together after a few minutes and walked back to the kitchen. One of the older employees (the “dad” if you will) stood up and gave me a hug and I tried to hold in my tears but of course I couldn’t. I splashed some cold water on my face and went out to the table like the chef always does to ask how everything is and tell them what they are eating. Everyone seemed happy and I got dessert ready. When plates started coming in someone told me that the vegetarian didn’t like her tofu and at that point I wasn’t surprised. I shouldn’t have winged something like that but apparently she ate it all. Well I served dessert, everyone seemed happy and finally I was done. I hid in the kitchen the rest of the evening, putting leftovers away and made some dinner for myself.
I am off today and tomorrow and the guests from last night are leaving today and Wednesday. I only have to cook breakfast on Wednesday and they will be gone but I don’t want to show my face (I live on the property and don’t have a kitchen of my own). Not to the chef to tell him how poorly it went, not to the guests, especially the vegetarian who I had spoken to before dinner and had a nice chat with. Not to anyone. I’m so humiliated. I know everything is fine. Nothing horrible happened and apparently chef gets meals out late frequently (I think it has stopped since I have been here) but that is what I have heard. Nonetheless I am mortified. The owner came by a few times to tell me that everything was fine, I don’t have to be perfect on my first day alone in the kitchen and that everything was delicious. Thank god the food tasted good (except for the tofu (but apparently the veggie lady seemed to be a hard to please lady, that was not the impression I got and it might be a total lie on the part of my coworkers to make me feel better but idk))
TL;DR on my first day alone in the kitchen at my new job, I started a small VERY brief fire, got the time wrong and served dinner 20 minutes late, over proofed the rolls, served offending tofu and cried in front of my coworkers for the first time. And now I don’t want to leave my room or show my face.