My girlfriend who I’ve been with for over a year is touchy to most people she trust and has known for a bit. Both guys and girls, like light touches on arm mainly when things are funny. Although this one guy friend who is also my friend she has felt comfortable to be more touchy with. Keep in my mind this guy friend was one of my better friends although we have an issues because of this. By more touchy I mean when things are funny and exciting they’ll grab each other’s arms like or hands like not just a touch but a full on grab and hold for like up to a 40 seconds ish.
She told cause they had time on school trips and talked about realized they were quite similar, like understanding emotions and all that (this was with like 15 other people in another country). And with this he also said he liked her best friend and would always text my girlfriend how much he liked her. My girlfriend is the one who started the touchy part as she felt comfortable with the guy and I felt uncomfortable as it was one of my good friends. I’ve told them to stop the touchyness and have talked to my friend asking him to stop in which he said “I don’t see an issue with it, it doesn’t mean anything, and it was just their way with communicating and it was natural” but did say “I would tone it down to make you more comfortable”. My girlfriend said the same thing and that it doesn’t mean anything but I’ve expressed how I feel and how they should do a lot less or stop entirely which she thought was unfair. I went to my other friends, like 13 different people who knew them and didn’t and they found it all to be weird.
Fast forward a couple months and after fighting a lot they have stopped touchy anything like grabbing each others hands and wrists. My good friend “told” (he asked my gf to tell her best friend) my gf’s best friend that he liked her and she said she doesn’t. My good friend still texts my girlfriend bi-daily and they are good friends and I am uncomfortable with that cause of everything that happened before. She says that I’m controlling her friendships and it’s really toxic. Honestly there’s been so much fighting about this one person and I’ve basically stopped being friends with him but girlfriend is still good friends with him but I don’t trust this guy and have brought it up to my girlfriend who doesn’t see an issue anymore now. This one person, a guy who I thought was my friend and someone I could trust has been the reason for problems in my relationship and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong but would love to hear some perspectives and opinions of the whole situation.
Other notes for context:
– My good friend is single
– They both seem to have the same values closer than me and my gf
TL;DR: My good friend got to know my girlfriend and they are both overly touchy. I was uncomfortable and told them to stop. My friend said he didn’t see an issue with it. After months they finally stopped but my friend is still good friends with my girlfriend and I don’t trust him in general. (I hope that’s a good TL;DR)