hello, hoping for some advice for those who have journaled or have been in a similar spot
i have been reflecting a lot lately and have realized im not a very good person, or im not the person i want to be. if im being completely transparent i gossip, i lash out sometimes, i get overwhelmed and isolate which in turn makes me become rude and not fun to be around. especially after a recent incident, i feel a lot of guilt for how i have treated people and how i talk about others. i want to change, but im not sure how? i really am bad at remember specific things to work on just on the top of my head. like if somebody replies with an in depth explanation on what to do the next time i think about gossiping, or being rude, etc, i will most likely forget. i think a lot of this may be due to my struggle with focusing fully on conversations and lack of awareness of social situations/cues and my struggle to understand others emotions. i believe i may have some sort of adhd. either way i just want to be kinder, people around me say that i am, but i just cannot believe them right now. i am not a nice person and i want to become one ! i want to make a change.
whether this contributes or not, i think journaling may help me? since it may remind me of the things i want to implement in my life. if anybody has ideas of what to start with or how you may journal please tell me! i am really desperate to become a better person. i am so upset with myself that i allow myself to participate in things that upset and hurt others, i think over and over again about all of the hurtful actions or things ive said/done to others and i feel terrible, i feel a pit in my chest at the thought. i want to make up for all of that by being better, any advice is appreciated🫶🏻i hope you all can understand my situation
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I am in a similar boat to you, and this is the first step to improving!! Good job!! Most people don’t realize their faults. 1. Forgive yourself for your past actions, but do not forget them. Carry them with you as reminders to do better, not as shame. 2. Journaling is a great great tool, but I would look into therapy as well. It is awesome to process your thoughts by yourself, but I cannot stress the importance and helpfulness of therapy enough. Sometimes there’s so many thoughts and feelings that journaling can turn into a spiral, whereas therapists can take that jumble and lay it out for you. 3. Always think about what you are saying and doing, but don’t overthink everything you say. Just ask yourself how you would feel if someone said it/did it to you. 4. Progress isn’t linear, you will make mistakes. Acknowledge them and move on. You’ve got this!!
Also side note, excess phone usage and bad eating habits can contribute to the lashing out/impulsiveness.
learn from mistakes. find good mentors and learn from them. always wish everyone best.