There’s this really popular girl in my IRL friend group & discord server I’m on. When we first met ages ago, wthin 5 minutes of observing her I immediately noticed all she does is attention seek and act like a narc. Yet…nobody in our group cares.
She doesn’t ever talk about others, how their days are etc, only herself and what she’s doing and how funny she is, but because she’s charming and gives people what they want (flattery, validation, admiration etc) she can then spend the next 30 minutes talking about herself and my friends will just sit there mesmerised like they found a magical mermaid!
What’s even more interesting is if you were to ask these people ‘hey do you hate attention seekers or narcs?’ everybody will say ‘Yes!’ But that’s just not true. They only mean the ones who aren’t nice. If you’re charming then 99% of people in this world will look past your behaviour.
This has really changed my perception on how others see the world. I want to believe people value depth, but I don’t think people do.
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As a fellow attention seeker, I respect the hustle 🤷♀️😎
You aren’t wrong OP. I’m getting so tired of no critical thinking and NO depth what so ever. Listen to modern music. No depth either. The art will show the truth as always and it isn’t looking good.
People liking flattery, admiration and validation is a pretty well known thing. It doesn’t mean some dont also like ‘depth’ or that people who dont do it have more ‘depth’ inherently. Charisma is a skill like any other, some people are naturally better at it, others learn and practice it to become good, others dont bother with it. Attention seeking isn’t really the same thing as charisma, you can have one without the other
You sound like you’re in school, stuff changes a lot after school.
Reads like an angsty teen.
Shit wil change when you get a bit older
Charm? … yeah maybe. Attractive? More likely.
I think a lot of that dies when you get older. Im not particularly fond of attention seekers. Nice people are fine and dandy but attention seeking behavior is also noticeable and annoying. I dont need the validation from someone’s charm. Its more than likely fake and self serving.
She’s not just talking about herself. She’s giving people what they want- validation, flattery. That’s not attention seeking, she’s just social. She’s charismatic. Attention seeking= trying to seek attention by doing drama, manipulation, seeking approval. She doesn’t sound like an attention seeker. People like people that are chill and calm.
Technically streamers are attention seekers so it checks out. Not always a bad thing to be one, just depends on motives I guess. Even then good and bad motives are subjective.
Is kind of a circle there.
They love the attention and then the people after them love to receive it back in a way to feel “important”.
In short, is another type of drug for happiness.
Gang
People like giving attention to who they want to give attention to. If you don’t want to give them attention then their actions for attention are annoying
lol so just flatter others to get your own 30 minute monologues
I don’t trust people who give compliments and admiration out of nowhere. There is usually an ulterior motive to benefit themselves….
Idk man i love attention it’s great. Just don’t talk to me if you don’t want me around
Yes they do. Narcissists are literally designed to be likable, for one thing. Sociopaths and Narcissists are super charming sometimes. They seem great a lot of the time. People love them and even put them in charge of things regularly.
For another thing, this world runs on attention seekers and class clowns. People love extroverts, because they talk, which can serve as entertainment for the rest of us. Or, just noise so we don’t have to talk.
We give influencers tons of money because their attention seeking has entertained us.
I personally don’t have any beef with any of these types I think they serve roles in society. Someone has to like attention, after all. The outcome of this isn’t all bad.
I do admit not having a problem with it, and I kind of expect people to have a problem with my lack of problem.
A guy I liked once said he likes people who have topics to talk about, and I have topics, but I wouldn’t bring them up to him. I only share my topics under certain conditions. I’m just locked away like that. Whereas, attention seeking mofos CANNOT shut up. And they bring the topics, no password required, and yes, people like that. I like it, too.
If you’re charming then 99% of people in this world will look past your behaviour
you said a true thing, OP
attention seeker and narcissist are two separate things. self-centered and narcissist are also two separate things.
I don’t think it’s as hypocritical as it looks. It’s natural for people to like someone entertaining who hasn’t done anything bad to them yet. If she turns her fragile ego against them they won’t like her so much. They may even be aware that she is the kind of person with whom that could happen, but it hasn’t happened yet so they don’t have a reason to have an issue with her yet.
Everybody hates them?
Nah, i dont hate them. Attention is a base need, we are social creatures. It can be a lot to handle at times, but it justvshows how much you should pity them, if they need it desperately.
The way theyre treated is often heartbreaking, just because their unmet need is psychological, not physical. You wouldnt say you hate water seekers, would ya? Because they always are thirsty, they always are parched, so annoying.