I just saved my sister from an overdose. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel

I (20) was home with my sister and her boyfriend. I was gaming on my computer, and heard him leave. There wasn’t any fighting that I could hear and thought nothing of it. About 40 minuets later I see a text from him asking if I could check in on her. This wasn’t the first time and thought maybe she blocked him for a fight so I was about to text him back, but he said “now.” “Please hurry”. And so I run into the room and she’s just sitting there. No expression. Nothing. And I look to her desk and see about 40 pills on her desk. Looking back now after a couple days of this happening. I should’ve grabbed them and put them in the pill bottle and closed it. The boyfriend was on FaceTime with her. And I kneel next to her asking what’s going on, how she was feeling and etc. And again. Nothing. I’m sitting there for maybe a couple minuets. And in the blink of an eye she had pills in her hand already and shoved them into her mouth. And it felt like hours. I grabbed her mouth and grabbed pills out and putting my fingers down her throat. I couldn’t even tell what was going on at the moment. But she just sits there. And I’m screaming at her asking if she swallowed anything. And just, nothing. The boyfriend keeps asking if she swallowed any and I just didn’t know. And I hated myself for not knowing. I couldn’t tell how many but maybe 7 fell on the ground. Finally she woke up in a sense and just started hitting and hitting and telling me to get the fuck out. And I’m calling 911 for an overdose telling them my address and the situation. All the while she’s just hitting and hitting. And finally she tries to barrel out of the room and the phone is on the bed. And she kept trying to get to the kitchen. Which I assumed was to get a knife. And I just put all of my weight into not letting her go down those stairs. Knowing if my weight gave out, I might be the reason. I might not save her. And I just am holding her in a bear hug. She’s screaming at me telling me how she hates me. How she wants to leave. And I’m screaming I don’t want to lose you. Please. I can’t lose you too. And finally she goes to our office and I close the door. And I go to my phone where the 911 operators are still on the phone. I talk to them a bit more and they finally hang up. Finally I’m able to call my mom to see where she was and she said in the driveway and I screamed at her to come in quick. Her boyfriend was already running in the yard to the door as soon as I get to the door. And I just, fell. I’m sobbing and can’t stop. Everyone is asking questions I don’t have the answer to. I’m terrified. And I’m just sobbing and sobbing. And finally the paramedics and police come and I get questioned about what happened and it was almost like a trance. She then left to go to the hospital. She’s okay now. I hear her in the room next to me. I’m thankful I was there. Able to save her. But now I can’t sleep. I cry and i can’t stop. I’ve been with my boyfriend and he’s helped me so much. But now I’m home and my mom and even my sister are treating it like nothing really happened. And that I went through nothing. I can’t tell if I’m being overdramatic. But I can’t stop shaking. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve thrown up countless times than I want to admit. Panting and sweating in the middle of the night waking my boyfriend up. And it’s almost as if nothing happened. I can’t help but feel angry for it. I feel guilty for being angry at them for treating it like it was nothing. I’m sitting here, only a few days after, still shaking at the thought. And I can’t feel as though maybe I’m dramatic, maybe I’m playing this up. But I can’t stop feeling the way I do.