as the title says, I really struggle with penetration. I always have, but before I discovered it was due to my septate hymen, and I got it surgically removed earlier this year. However, I’m STILL struggling with it. I managed to wear a tampon, but it was just a small one, and I have some plastic dilator but could only use the smallest size. I only had a tiny bit of lube when trying to get the medium one in since I ran out, but it burned SO much even trying to push it in a slight bit. I’m a bit concerned, because I had surgery for this exact issue. Could it just be a lack of lube, or something actually wrong? Does anyone have any advice on making it easier?
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Good rule of thumb, always use more lube than you think you will need. Too much is better than not enough and take your time, rushing yourself might hurt yourself.
You should talk to your OBGYN, you might be experiencing vaginismus.
Have you thought about having a consult with a pelvic floor therapist?
Trans guy here. I had to relearn how to use everything when I decided I wanted to try bottoming using my built in plumbing. There’s a few things i’d say –
I second the advice to look into vaginismus and/or pelvic floor therapy – struggling to take a finger or tampon is a sign that you’re definitely tighter than average.
Check the kind of lube you’re using. Not every lube is ph friendly and not every lube will agree with your body. Oil based is best avoided even though it arguably works better than water based. For water based, avoid the cheap drugstore kind. I’ve shelled out an unfortunate amount of money trying different lubes and my preference was sliquid satin (aloe water based lube).
Re: dilators – sometimes you really do just have to leave it in there and be really gentle about moving up in size. I had to re-dilate myself up to being able to accomodate an average sized dick. It took several months of working on it alone without the extra pressure of a partner wanting to rush things.
I found trying stuff after a hot shower made it easier too because I was already more physically relaxed. I also would lower myself down onto the dilator to use my bodyweight to help it go in.
They make injectors for lube which can get it in deeper, theyre designed for anal usually but can be used in any orifice and help you avoid the problem of all the lube getting rubbed off after the initial insertion