My boyfriend dumped me and takes no accountability. Says it was my fault he dumped me because we kept arguing about him cancelling plans. So I offered a break in relationship until I came back from overseas (I’m going overseas for 2-3 ish weeks in July so I offered a break in late Feb/early March when he dumped me) because he was too busy for me. He took that as a breakup and dumped me.
He took me back after 1 month.
Another 2 months later he finally understood the difference between him dumping me and me offering a break in the relationship because he was too busy for me which was because of his self-admitted procrastination. Other people told me it’s because he is cheating on me. They say no boyfriend should be seeing their gf once a month especially since my boyfriend is unemployed, barely goes to uni and doesn’t have friends. I work and finished my degree. During the relationship, I paid his fuel so he would drive and see me (I live 30 min drive away, sometimes I would go to him and he would make me go home and refused to see me), gave him money, bought him gifts and he barely did anything in return, I just wanted to see him.
He was my first bf and I’m his first gf. He has slept with someone before me during a drunk hookup. I gave him my virginity.
Every time we have an argument about him ignoring me or not reassuring me. He threatens to dump me again. He says we shouldn’t have arguments at all and I said that’s impossible every couple argues but he said if we argue, he will dump me.
I just wanted him to reassure me and love me. Since he dumped me and came back, I am always insecure and panic because he will leave me and he threatens to leave me all the time. I asked if it was the other way around and he said he would’ve never taken me back if I dumped him. So I feel like I made the wrong choice because even he wouldn’t have accepted what he has done to me had it been the other way around. He knows I’m attached and that he has to do nothing for me like other boyfriends do because I accept his poor behaviour and will love him unconditionally. I believe he will leave me once he finds a better girl and he says he won’t but then also threatens to leave me so I can’t believe anything he says because he says or does the opposite.
He says he doesn’t love me as much as he did initially but is willing to try to love me as much again. He thinks I argue for fun and not because I’m trying to communicate what I want or need. Usually these “arguments” are me asking why he doesn’t put as much effort as other boyfriends do for their girlfriends or why he can’t see me.
He also won’t sleep with me (because we had a pregnancy scare) nor even let me do sexual things to him like handjobs or whatever which he did like before with me. I started birth control and hoped he would’ve had sex with me with condom if he wanted but he didn’t, so I got off the pill since he wanted me to not take it anyway since he said he isn’t going to sleep with me. He is now waiting for marriage with me despite taking my virginity and always threatening to breakup with me. But he had drunk hookup in the past and now is like this so idk. I said maybe if we have sex, he’ll love me more but he is adamant on not having sex nor even letting me give him a handjob or blowing him or boobjob or whatever, I can’t do anything to him. He will kiss me, sometimes finger me and suck on my tits but that’s it. He won’t satisfy me nor himself. I don’t masturbate anyway. He says he doesn’t masturbate now and that he will not have sex with me until maybe 3-5 years, I said that’s fine, I’ll wait.
TLDR Boyfriend keeps threatening to leave me. What do I do?