AITA for not wanting to be all buddy buddy with my coworker after she home wrecker two times? My coworker and I work for a company that has many remote employees so we don’t see all our coworkers on a day to day basis. The only time we are all together (the commercial team in particular) is at our company holiday party, and our national business meeting. Well, last year at the national business meeting my coworker slept with a senior director, who was said to be in a “serious” relationship. This was none of my business and I truthfully found it a bit entertaining as I did not believe this man would ever be in any “relationship” based off his blatant perverted actions. Well, a couple months later we find out he in engaged. While engaged and still sleeping with my coworker, senior director gets fired. He no longer shows up to company parties or national meetings.
Flash forward a couple months and this handsome new sales guy gets hired. Think Miles Teller, mustache and everything. Well, Mr Miles 2.0 has a gorgeous badass CEO wife, and a new born baby. At our holiday party last month, my coworker (the one previously sleeping with the senior director) spent a spicy night with Mr Teller and continued to brag about it the whole next day. Maybe I’m stuck up because I’ve been in a relationship for two years and plan to marry my current partner, but this really really REALLY bothered me.
I just kept thinking, what does my boyfriend do when he goes on work trips? I know this is crazy. I trust him fully. However, I just can’t get this bad taste out of my mouth when it comes to coworker. She continues to talk about how attractive he is, and how she just can’t wait until the next time she can sleep with him. All I can think about is that poor child who will probably end up in a broke home being that his father can keep it in his pants. I could go into the whole psychology as to why I think they both are doing this but I’m honestly not in the mood.
My mom and the only person I told this story to tells me it’s not my place to judge. I agree, but this feels different. Am I wrong for not wanting to be her friend anymore? Is it so bad that I think she’s foul now?
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Backup of the post’s body: AITA for not wanting to be all buddy buddy with my coworker after she home wrecker two times? My coworker and I work for a company that has many remote employees so we don’t see all our coworkers on a day to day basis. The only time we are all together (the commercial team in particular) is at our company holiday party, and our national business meeting. Well, last year at the national business meeting my coworker slept with a senior director, who was said to be in a “serious” relationship. This was none of my business and I truthfully found it a bit entertaining as I did not believe this man would ever be in any “relationship” based off his blatant perverted actions. Well, a couple months later we find out he in engaged. While engaged and still sleeping with my coworker, senior director gets fired. He no longer shows up to company parties or national meetings.
Flash forward a couple months and this handsome new sales guy gets hired. Think Miles Teller, mustache and everything. Well, Mr Miles 2.0 has a gorgeous badass CEO wife, and a new born baby. At our holiday party last month, my coworker (the one previously sleeping with the senior director) spent a spicy night with Mr Teller and continued to brag about it the whole next day. Maybe I’m stuck up because I’ve been in a relationship for two years and plan to marry my current partner, but this really really REALLY bothered me.
I just kept thinking, what does my boyfriend do when he goes on work trips? I know this is crazy. I trust him fully. However, I just can’t get this bad taste out of my mouth when it comes to coworker. She continues to talk about how attractive he is, and how she just can’t wait until the next time she can sleep with him. All I can think about is that poor child who will probably end up in a broke home being that his father can keep it in his pants. I could go into the whole psychology as to why I think they both are doing this but I’m honestly not in the mood.
My mom and the only person I told this story to tells me it’s not my place to judge. I agree, but this feels different. Am I wrong for not wanting to be her friend anymore? Is it so bad that I think she’s foul now?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She wouldn’t be cheating with them if they weren’t open to cheating. Why are you only blaming her?
Some behavior deserves to be judged. It’s not only not wrong to cut her out of your life; it’s a good idea. You really want her around your partner? Also, you should tell her why you’re cutting her out
It’s your co-worker, not your BFF. Talk to her about work things, but otherwise tell her to STFU.
Why aren’t you blaming both parties, and not just her?
You don’t have to be friends with her for any reason, but I would remain cordial when you have to be near here since you still work together. I personally wouldn’t confront her or say anything directly about what’s she done because it’s the workplace, but I would definitely steer clear of someone like this.
Look, if she were remorseful it would be a different story. Everybody makes mistakes and deserves another chance. But you have to earn it through remorse and at least a desire to change.
Are you 100% certain this actually happened? Because from what you’ve shared, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s all a lie for attention.
Nothing wrong with finding this behavior gross and tbh if it’s not about work then you really don’t need to deal with her. But you are NTA. Now you would be the AH if you continue to hang out with her and bash her behind her back.
If she’s not in a relationship, basically she’s not in the wrong. If anyone would be at foul, it would be the one that’s in an exclusive relationship and sleeping around.
NTA Just do required work stuff with her nothing else
“Yo! Coworker! I dont want to hear about it! We are in the workplace!” If she continues, file an hr complaint for hostile work environment.
Tell their significant other after you record them bragging about their night.
Ppl getting cheated on deserve to know and the cheaters deserve to be outed.
Nope she wouldn’t be a close friend of mine either
Distance yourself. If she’s a floozy and you hanging out with her? They’re going to think you’re one too. You are who your friends are.
Don’t get involved and say something or confront her. Mind your business. She’ll get what’s coming. Either a bad reputation or vengeful spouse
Not wrong for not being her friend. We tend to be real friends with people who share a similar or aligned value system. She does not. That’s the basis for the old saying “birds of a feather flock together”. But you don’t have to make known your judgement of her; just choose not to be lunch buddies, or hang out outside of work; or whatever setting you don’t have to spend time with her. And I definitely wouldn’t have a friendship that includes your boyfriend. She has no boundaries. It’s great to fully trust, but don’t blindly trust him. People can be tempted in situations where they think no one will know.
NTA What your coworkers do on their own time is their personal business. You need to remove your personal judgement from the co worker situation. Your feelings of insecurity are a separate personal issue.
The real problem is your coworker bringing it into the work place. She took it from private to public and made it your business. No one should have to be forced to listen to anyone bragging about their sex life without their enthusiastic consent. Especially in the workplace.
Focus on that and speak to HR. This falls under sexual harassment. If nothing is done it becomes a hostile work environment and that’s another issue
Your coworker is not the home wrecker, the married men are to blame.
Nah she’s a bad person to an extent, don’t befriend her that’s for sure. Keep her at an arms length. I’d 100% have a spicy comment about not giving a shit about home wrecking activities. That’s 17 yr old logic, strange woman.
NTA. Just tell her that you don’t want to know any information that she wouldn’t tell HR
NTA. I’d start cooling the friendship down and only talking about work. If she brings up the trysts, you can say “I’m glad you are enjoying yourself but my coworkers personal lives are not something I want to hear about, and especially not their illicit affairs. I do not want to know about, be complicit in, or keep secrets about this kind of behavior. It stresses me out to know how you’re jeopardizing both your jobs, as well. Thanks for understanding and adjusting your conversation topics with me. If it’s brought up I will find something else to do.”
You don’t have to make it about judging or not, just that this is not information you want to have and that you are not willing to keep secrets like this. Set a firm boundary.
No
I had a friend like that she slept with her brother in law and then slept with a coworker, I was friends with her entire family, I realized she is the kind of woman that takes jealousy to the extreme if another woman has it she needs to have it, so I thought I am single, but what is going to happen the day I decide to start dating and introduce her to my partner? I am not gonna sit around and wait, I cut ties with her and her family.
OP, you can certainly judge and distance yourself. I would too! Shit is disgusting on her part (and on the men’s part) and it kills me when people take pride in mess and destroying other people’s relationships.
I’m not sure if I would explain the reason you’re distancing yourself to her. Really depends on how secure your job is as I wouldn’t want to bring more conflict into the workplace if not absolutely necessary. Regardless, I wouldn’t befriend someone like that.
My advice is to just keep it strictly professional and cordial with her. That’s it. Only talk about work-related topics where it is absolutely necessary to engage (e.g., scheduling a meeting, dividing work up, project updates, etc.). You can politely excuse yourself from meetings after they are done or redirect the convo if she starts talking about stuff during work meetings or other gatherings. Best of luck!
Drop the wife an anonymous letter letting her know what is going on so she can protect her health, her child, her heart, and her finances.
You should tell the partners. Anonymously.
Even the one, who isn’t working for your company anymore.
Why are you so jealous?
Keep her away from your bf.
Your mom and friend are wrong.
Judge her all day long — she deserves it.