For context:
I’m a 14 M programmer (I also code VEX V5 robots in C++ on my school team). My mom invited me to a two-person competition training camp; my brother was already supposed to join because the competition requires a duo.
At first she asked if I wanted to try it out, so I said “why not?” However, once I got there I realized it was probably designed for younger or beginner students—they use block code and a very simple robot. During the first lesson, I noticed the coach wasn’t very experienced in robotics; he’s a cybersecurity engineer and struggled to explain how basic PID (a control system determining autonomous behavior) works. After that lesson I told my mom I didn’t want to continue.
Despite this, she still wanted me to attend a second lesson, since the coach said it would be more advanced. When I went, I saw no difference.
Then we went on a seven-day trip with unpleasant guides, which was exhausting: vague packing lists, unclear equipment instructions, not enough clothes (I had to wash them at night), etc.
Today is my first day back home after the trip, and unbeknownst to me she’d already signed me up for the competition—me, my friend (also on the trip), my brother, and someone else. This is really frustrating, since I explicitly asked her not to sign me up.
My friend had a similar experience and doesn’t want to go (and neither do I). The problem is, my brother is currently unavailable (he’s out of the country).
Now my mom really wants me to go instead, paired with the person who was supposed to join my brother—a teammate I don’t even know—because the competition requires two people. If neither my brother nor I show up, that other person loses their qualification.
I declined and told her I won’t join. She tried to convince me by listing benefits (college applications, etc.) and guilt-tripped me (“you’ll ruin someone else’s chance,” “this will help your resume”). I know it might look good since it’s a whitelisted competition, but from the coach’s lack of expertise to the block-coding format and simple game rules, it’s not challenging, and I won’t waste my time—especially when I’m this tired.
Edit: the other kid my brother is supposed to be paired with already won the first round
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For context:
I’m a 14 M programmer (I also code VEX V5 robots in C++ on my school team). My mom invited me to a two-person competition training camp; my brother was already supposed to join because the competition requires a duo.
At first she asked if I wanted to try it out, so I said “why not?” However, once I got there I realized it was probably designed for younger or beginner students—they use block code and a very simple robot. During the first lesson, I noticed the coach wasn’t very experienced in robotics; he’s a cybersecurity engineer and struggled to explain how basic PID (a control system determining autonomous behavior) works. After that lesson I told my mom I didn’t want to continue.
Despite this, she still wanted me to attend a second lesson, since the coach said it would be more advanced. When I went, I saw no difference.
Then we went on a seven-day trip with unpleasant guides, which was exhausting: vague packing lists, unclear equipment instructions, not enough clothes (I had to wash them at night), etc.
Today is my first day back home after the trip, and unbeknownst to me she’d already signed me up for the competition—me, my friend (also on the trip), my brother, and someone else. This is really frustrating, since I explicitly asked her not to sign me up.
My friend had a similar experience and doesn’t want to go (and neither do I). The problem is, my brother is currently unavailable (he’s out of the country).
Now my mom really wants me to go instead, paired with the person who was supposed to join my brother—a teammate I don’t even know—because the competition requires two people. If neither my brother nor I show up, that other person loses their qualification.
I declined and told her I won’t join. She tried to convince me by listing benefits (college applications, etc.) and guilt-tripped me (“you’ll ruin someone else’s chance,” “this will help your résumé”). I know it might look good since it’s a whitelisted competition, but from the coach’s lack of expertise to the block-coding format and simple game rules, it’s not challenging, and I won’t waste my time—especially when I’m this tired.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Making the other person paired with my brother lose qualification and declining my moms request
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
She wants you to just do it and instead it should have been a conversation with you. You already went to one and found it uninspiring and boring and so you don’t want to do this one. You don’t owe the other kid anything. Would it be nice to do for him? Yes. Are you obligated? No.
INFO why is your brother out of the country when he was supposed to participate? Like what emergency happened?
NTA,
Your mom let the other kid down by committing you to something you explicitly told her not to. You’re not seven. She can’t just stick you in activities and make you go anymore.
What does your mother care??
NTA.
NTA
NTA. She should know better than to sign you up for something you already said you didn’t want to do. But she apparently didn’t know better. When you go ahead and don’t do it, this will be a good learning experience for her.
NTA but what’s her stake in this?
Why is she so dead-set on you doing this competition?