I am 24 years old and my mom is 48. I was talking to her about a fight her and my dad had when I was about 7 that ultimately made him neglect. I asked my mom what happened she said he wouldn’t leave her alone so she fought him but he never laid his hands on her and was just trying to get his point across. She took a glass frame and bashed it over his head when I was younger and then he left and had been spotty ever since.
I want to be upset with my mom ultimately her actions led him not to be in my life and start a new one with another family. My mom raised me on her own with my three other sisters. But it seems as if she made it a choice bc we all have different dads and none of them are in our life.
I feel also it might be a little too late to be angry with her.
Comments
Whatever happened between your parents I’m sure there was much more going on that you’re not aware of. Even if that incident was what made your dad leave, it sounds like he made little effort to be in your life. That’s really sad and I’m sorry. Is it worth being upset with your mum now? What will it achieve?
You cannot undo the past. This happened. Try and understand what unresolved feelings you have about it. Quit playing the “if only” game. Nobody wins that game. If only my dad had stayed then my life would be perfect and other fairy tales. This is your life. The past happened as it did.
Get beneath your anger to understand what emotion is causing the anger within you. If you can’t get past this on your own, consider talking to a pro. Search for “emotion wheel” online. Learn how to use one to get aquatinted with your deeper emotions.
Knowledge of emotions is a source of strength as it allows you to respond intentionally rather than just reacting automatically.
if your dad chose to not be in your life then thats on your dad. hes an adult and can make adult choices.
Your dad not being in your life is his choice, not your mom’s fault.
Wow. Blaming dad disappearing on Mom? If he thought she was abusive he should have saved you as well, no?
There’s no expiration date on this type of thing. Her actions most certainly caused the split, although I don’t know the whole story obviously. He may have been a real jerk, but that doesn’t justify a serious assault like that. Personally, I would have taken photos and pressed charges for assault.
However, your father could also have made it a priority to see you. So, it doesn’t sound like she is 100% responsible for his absence.
I don’t know how much good it would do to talk to her about it. But, you were hurt and you have every right to talk about it and be heard.
Your dad left for his own reasons. When you become a dad, please make sure you don’t leave your kids the way your dad left you. Do not harp on what someone did or didn’t do. Make sure you are the best dad to your children and when your children have kids that you teach them the importance of fathers being in kids lives.
Very naive thinking.
Nothing can stop me to be in my son’s life. Nothing.