I am 17m. I know it’s puberty and hormones and stuff, but it’s like I’m obsessed with sex. Often I just look at someone and go “i wonder what he/she looks like naked” or “i wonder how it would feel to touch that”. Part of it is curiosity and comparing myself to other men, and the other part is just me wanting to have sex with everybody. I’m not that well developed when it comes to puberty, and there is smth wrong with my privates (yes, i will go to a doctor) so it is partially jealousy. I often wonder what tanner stages guys my age are at. I just want to know what everything looks and feels and tasted like. I even find clothes hot. Sometimes when someone’s wearing a good outfit and I find them generally attractive, it makes me just start fantasizing about them. There are particular people whose outfits and bodies I pay a lot of attention to. I try not to stare too much (I keep my eyes to myself in the changing room) but DAMN it’s difficult. I thought I had my staring thing under control, but this week a guy from my class in the changing room “i don’t wanna get dressed while he’s here, he always looks at me” even though I don’t look at him in the locker room. One time I zoned out and my eyes were on him, but I don’t ever look intentionally cause it’s disrespectful.
How do I get less sex obsessed?
r/Advice
Comments
Yes hormones and it’s natural. It’s natural to be attracted and to like sex. That’s your primary function as a living thing.
You can start by being aware of what triggers these thoughts. You said clothes and it’s one of the things people use to look attractive. When you become aware of this, know that you can channel your thoughts as quickly as it came to you. Like sports or hobbies or other things you like.
This takes time to master. But it’s healthy. Just keep doing it. Sex is one of those things that are nice but it can quickly control you and you become a zombie, your mind just constantly thinking about it. You lessen your potential which you can do a lot of good things to yourself but instead you resort to p0rn.
So realize it’s natural, and also that you have control over it. Much like how we control anger.
Plus, girls are so nice to talk to. They bring a different thinking than yours and it’s fun without thinking sexual things about them.
Start watching documentaries about the Roman Empire. It won’t work, but then at least you will be horny and historically informed.
So you’re out the closet right?
You’re a teen and a male, so you’re naturally going to be more sexual than older men and women. When you get sexual thoughts, dont fight them but redirect them. Humanize people instead of sexualizing them. Wonder what their life might be like. For example, you see a beautiful woman with a nice body. How old is she? Does she have kids? Did she go to college? Does she seem nice or like a mean girl? Obviously, these would be your own assumptions, but asking yourself questions about people that aren’t sexual can humanize them in your mind. You wouldn’t ask those questions about a sex toy. As you continue to practice this, your brain will automatically think about those things instead. Also, try watching less porn if you do watch porn. It’s bad for anyone’s mind, especially young men.
I’m 37 and if I’m not sexually active 4-5 times a week there’s an issue
This sounds mostly like a curiosity thing, possibly fueled by insecurities or a conservative background . Doesn’t sound too terribly lustful BUT could become a real problem if you start watching porn, so stay away from that.
are you bisexual ?
Have you dated?
And what’s “wrong” with your penis?
I’m 35 and think about sex more than I’d like to admit. I could be in a serious meeting at work and fantasise about having sex with someone on the desk in front of me whilst my manager is talking about logistics or whatever she’s babbling on about. I often have these intrusive thoughts throughout the day; it’s a little annoying and inappropriate, but I somehow find comfort in them. I could easily have sex a few times a day, every day, and I mostly do. The point is, find someone who has a similar outlook, or even a few people, and go for it. It’s the most fun way to create dopamine and serotonin
I wish I just kept my head into books and knowledge and positive energy anyway do that also meditate!
Become a married woman?
Bro, stay away from porn. I’m 19f. In my teenager years, yes I had a sexual desire like anybody elses, but never stared at people’s bodies, since I started watching porn, I do it all the time. Not to desire them, but sometimes I get the ideas of ” how they look without clothes “, and because I hate some parts of my body so I start comparing my self to other females.
It’s a question of porn ruining the brain by exposing nudes to you and making you see them everywhere, and a question of lacking confidence and having some curiosity about how other people may look to compare them with yourself.
If you watch porn, then stop. Working on your medical problems it’s good to to gain confidence again and stop looking everywhere to compare yourself with others.
That is normal to a limit. Dont get stressed over it. About your privates, do check about it and i hope it doesn’t affect your sex life. Ya, try not to stare so much, ppl notice that more often than you think, especially when you stare too much. Try to educate yourself about sex and everything around it: precautions, higene, diseases, tips about how to do it, etc. There should be plenty of information, besides just porn. And NEVER do anything without getting consent. When they say no, its no.
The test of life called lust, re-direct that energy into something ur passionate about, business, hobbies, careers, dial in lil guy
What is your porn consumption? Even once a week can make your mind objectifieng your surroundings a lot more. I notice whenever I am on a porn streak looking more at the curves of others. If I am not on one things become less tense. Doesnt mean you have to stop wanking just leave the videos out.
Bro, you are obsessed with sx. OMG, myself 23M, I started to think I will die as a Vrgin 😂😂🤣. I don’t truly understand whether you are truly obsessed or not but have fun man. I have seen people with more sexual activity than your
Go explore nature
I was exactly that way at your age and barely kept my sanity. My parents were ill-equipped to help. When my father gave me the talk it was a 30-second waste of our time.
This also was before the Internet. Since you have identified a problem, ask your parent(s) to find you a psychologist for sex addiction. I doubt that you would fit the clinical definition of an addict but a credentialed professional could help you redirect your urges through a technique known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It involves no chemicals of any kind and has decades of evidence to support its efficacy.
Once properly aligned, you’ll be able to take pride in your natural zest for life. Later, when you find a mate, that person will benefit from what may feel like a curse at the moment.
Good luck! There are broad smiles in your future.
Your hormones are flooding through you. Normal at your age. When I was 17, I once “used the self service pump” ten times in a single day. It doesn’t last forever.