What’s something that your parents taught you that has stayed with you to this day? For me, I was raised by just my mom. One thing she taught me from when I was a very young boy is to be kind to girls and women. That it’s never ever ok to hit a girl, and that I should always look out for women’s welfare. As I grew up, she explained that that didn’t mean that women are always right, or that I shouldn’t stand up for myself. But I was always supposed to treat girls and women with respect. Always. That’s something that was drilled into me when I was 5, and it’s still something that stays with me at age 20. How about you guys? Could be something deep, or something light.
What’s something that your parents taught you that’s stuck with you?
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To not lie. I remember she felt so disappointed in me when she found out I had lied about something, and I felt so bad. And I told myself I’d never become a liar.
About 30 years ago I had a Rolex watch but at some point I felt like it was not enough, so i really wanted another Rolex. But I had to go into financing for that, so I’ve told my dad I needed a copy of my paycheck ( I was and I’m still employed in the family business). So, when my dad asked me what the copy was needed for,he very calmly told me ” No problem, here is your paycheck copy. Feel free to go into finance for your watch,but if you’ll really do that, it means that the system will have defeated you ” . Needless to say I’ve never ever bought that watch. On the opposite I’ve ended up selling the one I already had too…
No one truly likes me.
I’m GenX. We got spanked swatted and had my mom break the wooden spoon on my butt when I was twelve. We learned right and wrong and that stupidity,even when you get away with it in the moment, catches up with you and it hurts.
Make good choices. No one is coming to save you.
One thing my dad always said was “If you borrow something return it better than you found it”. It stuck with me not just for objects but for relationships, jobs anything. Just leave things better than when you arrived.
Self-sufficiency.
To take care of my lady.
We were at the store. I must’ve been 7 or 8. My mom (single mother) asked me to help her pick out a new iron. I asked why if I didn’t use an iron and that was more her thing. She paused and explained that I needed to know how to use one, how to cook, clean, and do everything the lady of the house does, so that when my wife was feeling sick or simply needed help, I’d be able to take care of her.
It helped shape me into the husband I am today.
Unless you’re married to them, or plan on marrying them, you don’t need to take shit off of any woman.
Never hit women, don’t take shit from anyone, work for what you want.
“You’re a bigger boy, so people are gonna be scared and intimidated by you.”
Does some damage to a kid…
In our culture, men are supposed to take care of women because that is their own value they believe in and want to provide, but never be dependent on a man financially. My dad has been very firm on this, as he has daughters too. Before marriage you should already be able so sustain yourself and even within marriage, you should have your own bank accounts and a joint one.
If you solve problems, everyone will line up to help you solve yours, but you won’t need it. If you have problems to solve, those who could solve them, won’t give a shit about you, because you’re not worth it.
The second one: don’t make drama. If love hurts, make poetry. In real life, be straight about your intentions, don’t lie about your feelings, and never about your situation. Most of all, accept that the decision isn’t yours, and you can’t force yourself onto anyone.
If you can’t afford you can’t have it.
Bio dad walked on mom when she was pregnant. Mom told me not to ever do that. I think it’s part of my trauma why I’ve never wanted children. Now, at 40, it’s too late anyway
Having money doesn’t make you rich.
Peepee in the potty.
That one always stuck ❤️
When you meet someone who always seems to have gossip to share with you and they talk trash about others behind their backs, you better believe they’re also gossiping and talking trash about you behind yours.
Their actions are truer than their words
My mother, accustomed to being curb-stomped by her own choices and life in general, passed a wonderful survival tool:
Bad shit happens. Unexpected shit happens. Devastating shit happens. And after the initial rage, grief, disbelief, and sobbing passes, there’s only one question left to ask: What next?
My mother taught me to seamlessly move from feeling and accepting what’s happened to actively searching for repairative action.
Survey the destruction. Feel your feels. And then say, “okay, what next?” Because forward is the only way.
Be kind to all animals. They’re innocent
Be kind to animals and children, an absolute never abuse a woman (she worked with abused women in the hospital), take care of the environment, and don’t make life hard on others because I don’t know what they’re going through.