My boyfriend told his dad to come over and say “hi” to me after we had just gotten into a big argument and I personally was not in the mood to talk to anybody because I was still upset.
He proceeds to bring his dad over and his dad is drunk and stuttering and trying to give me relationship advice. There was NO way I could keep a straight face knowing how drunk he is and knowing that he should be the last one to ever give out relationship advice… my boyfriends family has a family event today and my boyfriend is telling me if I do not apologize to his dad about “laughing in his face” then our relationship won’t work out? Is this not manipulation? I’m also pregnant too and he constantly seems to be on the verge of ending things with me while I’m carrying his child that he BEGGED to have. Let me know if I’m in the wrong. I have no issue apologizing, but its the fact that he is giving me an ultimatum
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You’re not wrong to feel hurt, disrespected, and manipulated in this situation. Let’s break this down:
1. You were triggered and uncomfortable — and that matters.
You had just been in a big argument with your boyfriend. You were emotionally raw and likely still processing. Then, he brought over his drunk father, who started giving you unsolicited advice. Laughing, in that moment, seems like a natural response — a mix of disbelief, frustration, and possibly even self-protection. That doesn’t make you cruel or disrespectful — it makes you human.
2. Your boyfriend put you in an uncomfortable situation.
He knew the timing was bad. He knew you were upset. Yet he still brought over his drunk father — which comes off as inconsiderate at best, and maybe even antagonistic at worst. Then to demand you show perfect composure, while pregnant and emotionally vulnerable? That’s not fair or supportive.
3. The ultimatum is manipulation.
Telling you the relationship won’t work unless you apologize for laughing — especially after all of that — is emotional coercion. Relationships involve compromise, communication, and empathy, not threats. You’re pregnant, emotionally exposed, and clearly trying to hold things together. If he’s using your reactions as a pass/fail test for the relationship, that’s not love. That’s control.
4. It’s okay to want to apologize — on your own terms.
If you want to say something like: “I didn’t mean to laugh in a way that felt disrespectful — I was overwhelmed and emotionally tapped out,” that’s perfectly mature. But doing it under pressure — especially while being threatened with a breakup — is not healthy or fair.
Bottom Line:
You’re not in the wrong. Wanting respect, emotional safety, and patience — especially while pregnant — is not too much to ask. Your boyfriend is using emotional manipulation instead of trying to understand where you’re coming from. That’s not okay.
If you’re open to it, we can talk more about how to navigate this with him — whether that’s setting boundaries, having a real conversation, or deciding what’s best for you and your baby. You deserve support, not ultimatums.
Based on this post you should break up with your abusive boyfriend: https://old.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/comments/1klddev/am_i_better_off_getting_an_abortion/
I mean, the fact that your bf called his father and invited him over to give YOU relationship advice would be a dealbreaker. Add on top of that the fact that your bf is demanding YOU apologize to his father? Nope out of there.
No you don’t need to apologise and yes it’s controlling and manipulative behaviour and it’s a form of violence. Your boyfriend is being a bully and even if you apologise he will find something else to bully you about and threaten you again with ultimatums . He’s a child and you deserve far better than this thug
Yeah no way you should apologize. If that ends the relationship then it sounds like that’s for the best.
Girl, your comment history says it all. You need to leave.
Ew. Leave him girl. It’s extremely toxic to threaten breaking up. I have a feeling even if you do apologize your relationship still won’t work. Better to separate now before the baby comes. Once the baby is here you’ll be more vulnerable and he’ll probably become even more manipulative
Get the BF to the kirb. Dump that prick.
This is the partner your comment history says has abused you, including strangling you?
This argument is meaningless because your life is currently in danger and you need to leave now. The leading cause of death among pregnant women is homicide and if someone has strangled you they’re now 7x more likely to murder you.
Your comments say you know you need to leave but it doesn’t help when people tell you that, you have to decide for yourself. I get that, but I’m not gonna pretend an apology to his dad for laughing matters at all right now.
Your boyfriend is a dick. He literally pulled a flying monkey on you, meaning bringing in others to back him up that have nothing to do with your relationship to back up his side of things. It’s a pretty classic narcissistic move. Also the threats of leaving is manipulation. If he is willing to bail let him. You do not need him. You should only be in a relationship cause you want to be not out of need. I am a newly single mom and you can take care of this baby regardless of how in the picture he is or not, but you won’t be able to if your mental health is being attacked. You need to make sure you are at your best for your kid. Notice how that sentence doesn’t mention him once. Do what you need to do girl for you and your little one. You need support not fear of abandonment. Congrats on the baby and stay strong. You can handle whatever you choice to do whether that be stay or go but focus on what is best for you and the baby long term.
I think you are better off without him. Don’t waste your life on loser.
Or you can show up and say:
“I didn’t laugh in your face last night Mr Dad. You were pretty drunk, I don’t think you’re remembering it properly. We were laughing together all evening, you were so funny”.
Then walk away from both of them