My friend called me last night and asked if I could babysit her daughter while she went to 8pm showing of a movie. I said okay since our daughters miss each other. Around 10:30pm my friend still wasn’t back from the movie theater so I called my sister who went to the movie theater with our friend. My sister told me that our friend had no intention of coming to pick up her daughter after the movie (wtf!).
My sister offers to come pick up our friend’s daughter and showed up to get her. When it’s time for my friend’s daughter to leave she starts crying saying she wants to stay so I agree and my sister leaves my house. Now comes morning and my friend still hasn’t said anything about her daughter or when she’s coming to pick her up. So I continue on with my day and make the girls breakfast.
After breakfast the girls start playing and my friend’s daughter knocks over bubbles on my tv stand and says nothing about it. About an hour later I see the bubble solution all over my wooden tv stand and immediately start cleaning but the water damage is already done. I’m upset because I JUST bought this tv stand in March as a birthday present to myself and now it’s ruined plus it was expensive. I feel like my friend should be paying for any repairs.
Also I STILL have her daughter with me so I feel like she definitely owes me.
EDIT* her boyfriend just picked up her daughter at 2:45pm
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My friend called me last night and asked if I could babysit her daughter while she went to 8pm showing of a movie. I said okay since our daughters miss each other. Around 10:30pm my friend still wasn’t back from the movie theater so I called my sister who went to the movie theater with our friend. My sister told me that our friend had no intention of coming to pick up her daughter after the movie (wtf!).
My sister offers to come pick up our friend’s daughter and showed up to get her. When it’s time for my friend’s daughter to leave she starts crying saying she wants to stay so I agree and my sister leaves my house. Now comes morning and my friend still hasn’t said anything about her daughter or when she’s coming to pick her up. So I continue on with my day and make the girls breakfast.
After breakfast the girls start playing and my friend’s daughter knocks over bubbles on my tv stand and says nothing about it. About an hour later I see the bubble solution all over my wooden tv stand and immediately start cleaning but the water damage is already done. I’m upset because I JUST bought this tv stand in March as a birthday present to myself and now it’s ruined plus it was expensive. I feel like my friend should be paying for any repairs.
Also I STILL have her daughter with me so I feel like she definitely owes me.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Should I charge my friend because her daughter ruined my wooden tv stand.
I might be the asshole because she’s only 4 years old and it was an accident.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Of course, she should pay. Also, you should start to think about calling the police. If she doesn’t pick her daughter up and can’t be reached, that’s abandonment
She totally used you. Of course she should pay – you’re kind, not stupid. You’re not a free babysitter with free furniture.
NTA.
But I wonder – does your friend actually intend to come back for her daughter????
I’m sorry, you learmed that your friend didn’t intend to pick up her daughter and still hasn’t been in contact with you about it, but your biggest concern right now is her paying you for your table? This better be some AI nonsense
I’d call the cops. She basically abandoned her kid at yours and have the bill ready for a replacement. This person is not your friend, nor is she a decent mum.
Your “friend” has abandoned her daughter. Since she’s not responding to you, and refused to get her daughter at the agreed upon time, I would give her one last chance to respond and then call the authorities to report the situation and then take her to small claims court if she refuses to pay for the damages to your property.
A friend doesn’t ignore you when you’re watching their child or put you in a bad situation for their own convenience. And why would you even want to be friends with someone who abandons their child by dumping them on unsuspecting helpers and then going off the grid. Sounds like she’s an addict, or at a minimum incredibly selfish and neglectful.
She ditched her kid, lied about coming back, and now your furniture’s ruined? That’s not babysitting, that’s being scammed. Charge her
She’s the jerk for not picking her kid up but you let them play in the house with bubbles unsupervised so that’s on you.
YTA for not calling CPS for child abandonment.
Isn’t that typical wear and tear from kids?
You can ask for your friend to pay for it, but don’t be surprised if she cuts you off.
NTA and call the police. Your friend abandoned her daughter.
Yes she should pay for the tv but what is going on that she hasn’t picked up her daughter and no intention to tell you?? This is no friend. NTA.
NTA just from the title, but have you tried calling her directly to see what’s going on??
Yes, she should pay.
But also… I just saw that the child is 4 years old. You obviously were not supervising the kids or there would have been no bubble solution in the house (it’s an outside toy) to be dumped. So you are at fault for this happening. Still, I would charge the friend any refinishing fee out of spite, AND that would be the last f***ing time I would provide a place for her to abandon her child.
Updateme
I’d call the police and file a missing persons report. That way you’re not the AH
No idea people actually did that with kids.
INFO: how can you be sure which child knocked the bubbles over if no adult noticed until later?
NTA, charge her for the overnight babysitting and damage fee. Or call law enforcement because, at this point, she has abandoned her child. Being out of contact with you is irresponsible parenting. You have no medical authority for this child.
YTA for expecting a 4 year old to be careful with bubbles unsupervised in the house. And to tell you when a mistake happens. That is a YOU issue and you need to try to repair your own furniture.
Ummmm, listen the TV stand is the least of your worries at this moment. When is she coming to get this kid??? At this point you could call the police and report abandonment.
You could tell her she needs to pay for it, but she’s a person that at this moment has abandoned her child…so I’m not sure you’re getting that money. Please focus on the real issue here and call someone!
It’s a terrible situation but the furniture is the least of the problems here. This child has basically been abandoned with you.
YTA for not properly supervising a 4 year old you agreed to take care of despite the parent abandoning them.
I’m worried for this kid in your care based on your priorities of money and furniture.
NTA this isn’t normal behavior from this parent. Are they any signs of abuse or neglect? How old is this kid?
My first thought?
Drugs. She’s never going to pay you, she’s on a bender, call the police, and check on your sister, because she may be using, as well.
It could be anything, but people don’t typically abandon their kids.
Good luck.
And you haven’t called the police about child abandonment because…?
You are never getting any money for her daughter’s damage to your things. Hell, the mom doesn’t even want to pick up her daughter. I don’t know what you think you’re doing here, but I would call the police
YTA the kid was in your care and you were babysitting at the time. I’ll probably get downvoted but I think you should have been supervising the kids more closely. You were responsible at that time
Never watch this child again. The more people that enable her bad parenting, the bolder she will get.
Personally I’d drop her daughter home and if she wasn’t there, I’d call police for child abandonment.
ESH your husband should pay for the damage since he’s the one who wasn’t properly watching them with the bubbles. But your friend definitely owes you for literally abandoning her child and expecting you to keep her indefinitely.
You’re mad about the wrong things.
You let them play with bubbles in the house unsupervised. That’s on you.
Your friend” abandoned her daughter and isn’t responding to your attempts to contact her. That is the problem here.
CPS/police call is what is needed here. Poor kid.
Unfortunately your friend’s child was in your care when the danage occurred so you are responsible for damage she did. If she was a lot older and did something deliberately that caused damage, then perhaps you could argue it. However legally you’re the adult who is responsible for her at that time.
YWBTA if you demand she pay for the TV stand. When you agreed to babysit, you assumed responsibility for the kid who appears to be a toddler. The kid didn’t tell you about the bubbles but neither did your kid or whichever adult was supposedly supervising them with the bubbles. Seriously, how did you just hand off bubbles to a couple of toddlers and then not see they’d spilled? Accidents happen. Maybe get your kids dad to pay since he’s the one who just let it happen and left it there.
That being said, call the cops about the abandonment. You said it’s not the first time, it won’t be the last. Be a good person and help that poor child.
Your friend may have been the AH for abandoning her daughter, but specifically speaking on the damage, YTA for giving a 4 year old bubble juice indoors.
I mean accidents happen and kids knock stuff over. I would definitely charge her for child care though and use that to buy a new TV stand lol. Still NTA
Call social services. This is abuse
NTA but she shouldn’t pay. This is an expensive lessons not to have bubbles on furniture – unfortunately one we all have had to learn in some capacity as parents.
Your friend is an epic AH for leaving her daughter with you and then leaving her overnight without your permission but that is an entirely separate issue than an open container of bubbles being left on the tv stand. That is a supervising adult issue.
What are their ages
The thing about watching someone’s pet or kid is it’s your responsibility to make sure they don’t ruin your furniture, not anyone else’s because you agreed to be responsible for them. So yes, YWBTA.
YTA because your priorities aren’t straight. You’re worried about damage over your friend literally abandoning her daughter.
How old is the kid?
ESH but the damage to the furniture happened on your watch not your friend’s, so whilst charging her for the babysitting would be reasonable, charging her for the furniture is not.
Sorry about your tv stand, but this falls under the category of “shit happens”. Letting preschoolers play with bubbles around your expensive tv stand without close supervision is on you/your bf. At her age it’s hit or miss as to whether she would tell anyone. She was doing a normal kid activity, not something unexpected so, YTA for asking her to pay.
As for her leaving her kid over night without asking, that’s something you def want to address. That’s ridiculous
I think you have bigger fish to fry here. Get on the phone with your (former) friend and tell her if she doesn’t come get her kid right now that you will be notifying the authorities. If she’s the kind of person who would just abandon her kid overnight with no notice then she isn’t the kind of person who would willingly pay for damage to your furniture. Focus on returning the kid and cutting ties with this toxic person.
The kind of person who abandons their kid is also the kind of person who isn’t going to pay for the damage to your TV stand. I think you are focusing on the wrong problem (ruined TV stand) to avoid thinking about the real problem (abandoned kid). It’s probably time to call CPS and let them know about the situation.
I mean, NTA, but … does it matter?
YWBTA since the child was in your care and your husband was the one that was supposed to be watching her at the time. Hell if you didn’t notice the spill for an hour how do you even know which kid spilled it?
YWBTA, based on your other comment that your husband was meant to be watching them and didn’t notice. Even with an accident if he was actually supervising you would have had a chance to clean it up before it soaked in. It was also on both you and your husband to be smart enough not to let them play with bubbles indoors, unless it was one of those special brands that advertise for being used indoors (where it’s not some d soap solution that leaves a slippy slimmy residue). Technically you can blame your husband since he was meant to be supervising but whoever left easy access to bubbles indoors made a silly mistake too.
Your friend dumping her kid and not communicating is a separate ah situation where she is TA.
NTA.
Your friend seems oddly entitled to your babysitting services. But I’m also a woodworker & know that the furniture itself isn’t ruined, just the finish. I would ring a few cabinetmakers or joinery shops and ask for a quote to fix the finish, and tell your friend to cover the cost, or that will be the last time her daughter ever comes over. Sad, but maybe it’s for the best if she’s already a person who walks all over you
It’s not abandonment since the child could have gone with the sister, but OP caved. You can’t charge for the furniture since you weren’t making sure the children were properly supervised by your husband.
YTA It seems as though everyone here is telling you the same thing. The TV stand is not the issue right now. Finding the mom of the 4 year old needs to be the priority. This has happened to me exactly 1 time, and it lasted 2 days. I knew the mom was somewhere getting high. Never picked up the phone or responded to my texts until Sunday night, when I told her I would have to get CPS involved. Then she was all full of apologies and bullshit excuses.
She owes you big time if you don’t call the authorities. I understand that we, as parents, don’t hardly get any “me” time, but that is not a valid reason to dump their responsibility on you. If you are friends, and want to keep it that way, you need to set boundaries with her and make her understand that she needs to do better for her child.
First, you weren’t supervising the girls. Had you been doing so, the cap would have been put back on. You can’t charge her mother for your negligence. And, do you know which girl was playing bubbles? I bet they both were.
Second, I’d call CPS and report the mother for child abandonment. That’s the far more important issue here.
You will be the asshole if you don’t start referring to her as your ex-friend.
NTA. And test said mommy and say I will be turning the kid over to CPS if I don’t see you within the hour. Put a little fear in her life. Guaranteed she doesn’t ask you to sit again. (Obviously don’t do that to the kid, but) sorry. Take the loss of the nightstand as a reminder to not associate with this person anymore!
You’re mad at your friend for leaving her kid with you, not for the ruined furniture. Replace your furniture, never take care of the kid again, dump the friend. ESH.
YTA Don’t agree to watch kids if you aren’t going to watch them.
YWBTA, because you were responsible for watching both children. Kids destroy stuff if you don’t keep an eye on them
Did you even call her parent to ask when she intended to pick up her daughter? If not, why not? If she didn’t answer the phone, then you could consider her child abandoned and contact the police.
The thing about agreeing to look after people’s pets and kids is you are the one responsible to make sure they don’t ruin your furniture, not them because admittedly you weren’t paying attention when the accident happened and only you could have stopped or mitigated the damage (the kid is not responsible or they wouldn’t’ need a babysitter). That said, you need to arrange late charges and extra day charges before agreeing to even babysit. You’ve learned the importance of having an agreement beforehand on hourly charges or late fees, because maybe you weren’t even asking for money but now you want some. If the child seems to be abandoned then you know who to call.
PS, wash your wood, if dark colored try using some mayo, petroluem jelly or even olive oil rubbed on then off of it.
YTA.
If your friend had been in the room AND saw her child make the mess AND failed to either clean it up or alert you that it had happened, that would have been a different story.
None of those things happened. The mess was made under your watch, so you’re responsible for the cleanup.
Sounds like your so called friend wanted a booty call……
Im sorry that your friend abandoned her daughter with you without warning. That’s an asshole move for sure.
But you provided the bubbles and allowed them to be used on the tv stand, and didn’t notice the spill. At that period of time you were standing in as her parents or the adult responsible for her, and it was your provision of the bubbles and the quality of your supervision that caused the tv stand to be damaged. You would be the asshole to try to blame anyone else and scammy to try to force her mother to pay for the damage in your watch.
She’s not even concerned about retrieving her daughter and you think she’d ever pay for your tv stand? Don’t hold your breath.
I think every adult in this situation ITA.
Um… yeah. You were supposed to be watching the kid. So… any spills are on you. Also, how do you know your daughter didn’t do it, you know, since you weren’t properly supervising them anyway? And yes, I have kids. A 2 and 5 year old. Spills come with the territory. But nothing has ever been permanently ruined (knock on wood). Must be a cheap TV stand, honestly. Should have put some protectant on there clearly.
TV stand is on you. But I would absolutely be charging 20 bucks per hour for the babysitting time since she decided to abandon her child.
Yes 100%. You were providing care for the kids in your own house, where they were left essentially alone with a non-attentive adult and open bubbles near your special, fragile-ass furniture. It’s your own responsibility.
It’s also hella weird that this is your greatest concern if the parent is still unaccounted for. It’s a non-essential object, ffs.