I just need to vent. It’s embarrassing that at my age I’m still falling for this shit and it makes me wonder how younger women and girls are supposed to avoid falling into the same trap when even I can’t as an adult.
I enjoy some K-pop and Korean culture content here and there, but lately my algorithm has been bombarding me with videos of catchy kpop dances (Gnarly by Katseye, anyone?) and all these beautiful, tall, porcelain looking dolls. I know all about the cosmetic procedures and effort it takes to look like them—the extreme pressure that they are under. And yet after a week or so I noticed that I wasn’t able to brush off my flaws the way I normally do. I became more self critical. As someone who struggled with bdd throughout her life and has improved so much, this kind of content really took me back to how I felt as a teenager.
A few months ago I was sad about not having the BBL body type, and just like that, I am now telling myself I need to lose weight. As if my body is nothing more than a thing to be molded depending on what’s trending. I’m so ashamed but I also can’t help it. Everything is standing out to me now: neck lines, cellulite, spider veins, large pores, chubby arms, etc.
It’s a miracle that with my history of BDD I had enough sense to avoid cosmetic procedures but now I’m spending more time looking at Korean medspas/planning a trip to Korea to have all these things done for a “glow up”.
How the hell do people avoid this while consuming this content? How do you NOT feel ugly? Am I the crazy one or have others experienced the same
Comments
If you can’t consume something in moderation without it hurting you, it’s time to stop seeking it out and avoid it altogether.
You brush off your flaws? If you realized that those features are just the details that make you a unique individual, then you wouldn’t need to waste energy brushing them away.
If watching these videos is triggering your body dismorphia, you need to restrict your enjoyment of k-pop to the music and stop watching videos. Download the mp3s and listen with your headphones while doing other things. Deleting the tiktok app will make it easier.
Work with your therapist about the reasons why you think you need to look other than you do, and what you think a surgical “glow up” would realistically do for you.
BBL is Brazilian butt lift, right? What is BDD?
Im 32 and while I’m not as into k-culture now, I find it helps to remember that their job is to look good. If I was getting paid to look good, had chefs, meal plans and personal trainers lined up, and literally had no other obligations, sure as shit I’d also look amazing. This applies to any celebrity or influencer too.
K-culture in general is very harsh. Korean women have to deal with a very strict standard of beauty and wealth. That’s before you add on that idols and actresses are marketed as perfect. Beauty comes with a price and I often wonder how happy idols can be when their life and body has to be so perfectly manufactured.
How do they consume this content without feeling like that? They often don’t. So they stay away from the content and the platforms that serve it.