So I’ve known him about 8/9 years on and off. Knew he liked me but I was in a long relationship. Decided to pursue this as I assumed were both single and already friends.
Flirted for about a couple of months and went on dates which went really really well. On the second date he said he wanted to come clean and told me he was married and has a kid, now this didn’t really bother me much but then mentioned they aren’t divorced yet and I probs know his wife as she is following me on insta wow. Now my bestie advised to steer clear as the wife will always be in the picture if this goes further and there’s a kid involved. Also why didn’t he ever mention this if we’ve been friends for years? Why is he hiding his wife and kids no mention on his social media nor has she tagged him ever. Personally I think we have a great connection and I was already planning a future with him 😅 but there seems to be more cons than pros, I’d like some strangers opinions.
My thinking is, what if the wife doesn’t know he’s dating? Do I message her? Do I just cut it off now.
I am yet to ask him why they separated and how they even came to get married. He claimed they weren’t compatible.
Opinions pls
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are you sure he’s getting divorced?
Cut and run.
This is a whole bunch of bullshit.
You are young and deserve better.
This is a hard no. Oldest trick in the book.
I would tell him that I enjoyed the connection and once he has moved out, he can get in touch with you again. It is not fair for the wife/ex-wife to date when they still live together.
My money is on the fact that they are having a rough patch and he is trying to find a new bangmaid ASAP.
This entire thing is a solid red flag 🚩 hopefully it’s ai.
Girl run. Too much baggage too many red flags.
Message her and cut him off
Stay away from single moms and single dads. Their excess baggage is not worth it at all.
Yeah no thanks! End this until he is divorced
🚩🚩🚩🚩save your heart from heartbreak , and run!
He’s been hiding his family from you. And probably a lot of other women he talks to. For years. That’s no accident, that’s a series of decisions. Why are you planning a future with someone like that? What makes you think he won’t do the same to you if you two get together? Don’t be dumb. Have some self respect and find someone who’s honest and has integrity.
Block him. Set everything to private. Move on.
This whole thing reeks. Starting 9 years ago.
Girl run
Oh ABSOLUTELY NOT just walk the fuck away
Don’t do it! You already making the same argument so many mistress make to justify staying with a married man! Set you some money to the side for your therapy because you don’t need it when everything comes out or you can just walk away and save yourself the trauma
Sounds like he’s still married and his wife is following me because she’s suspicious. He’s having an affair. And he’s trying to do damage control.
Or she’s weirdly stalking you for whatever reason…
It’s too weird. is this relationship worth all this drama and chaos?
Everything went very well because he’s probably a good liar.
Don’t date until the divorce is final. Ever.
The red flags are literally hitting you in the face. This man has drama and a stalker (ex???) wife written all over him.
It’s rare that a guy would divorce the mother of his kids. I would stay clear until the divorce is final. There are too many stories here about the other woman who’s been forever promised that the divorce is happening but it never does.
I’m so confused about why you’re so all in on this guy and you’ve known him for several years but never knew he had a kid or asked any questions about him being married etc.
It kinda sounds like you like him so you’re gonna go down this path regardless, because most people would have been getting all this information before continuing on several more dates with him and progressing the relationship.
I’d ask for proof of separation and proof he’s working towards divorce. If he doesn’t I’d message the wife
Don’t choose messy. (This guy is messy)
No dick is worth this drama.
A small number of married men leave one marriage and go immediately into another, comparatively speaking.
You’re his rebound.
He hid it because he can’t be honest with himself so couldn’t be honest with you. He’s told you only because you didn’t reject him because he made sure to get you to bond emotionally first.
His child will always come first if he has any shred of decency. You’ll tire of that in time.
His wife will always be in his life in some capacity too.
You can have a great connection, nobody’s denying that. Chemistry can be cruel and has a shitty sense of timing sometimes.
You’ll find another with far less baggage. Sorry to be brutal, but chances are you’ll feel worse if you stay with him.