I (F25) went on a date with a guy (M26) last night. Great time. He was really nice, normal, great job, lots in common. No complaints. With that being said, it is hard to find a normal guy. I want to go on a second date again, but I can’t tell how he feels based off of this text, and I don’t want to ask him on another if it’s clear that he’s not interested.
*It won’t let me post the screenshot of the messages, so here it is:
Me: Hey! Had a great time last night, thanks for (restaurant we went to):-) I know you’re busy the next few days so whenever you’re able to catch your breath, let me know if you’d want to do something sometime soon
Him an hour later: I had a great time last night too! You, and (my dog), were a lot of fun to hang with. Thanks for (the dive bar I took him to after dinner) and having me stay over. I’d love to do something again. Let’s connect soon. If you decide to go home to (my hometown) next weekend I hope you have a fun trip!
(I only hearted the message)
Should I ask him to hang again? Should I never respond? What do you guys make of his message?
*he stayed over afterwards because he didn’t want to drive after drinking, we only kissed.
Comments
He says “I’d love to do something again.”
Seems pretty unambiguous to me.
He’s trying to show interest without putting any pressure on you. Sounds like a reasonable person.
Maybe wait a week and ask him out for coffee or something?
Whatever you do, keep it low-key and go very slowly. And to the extent possible, perhaps let him take the lead… from what I’ve been reading here on Reddit, guys are very sensitive about those sorts of dynamics and can be easily frightened away.
ETA: I’d also like to share some thoughts about texting if I may. When I was dating back in the 1970s and 80s, there were no computers, no phones, and no texting. The only way to communicate with a girl was to talk on the phone, or to meet in person. And we never talked much on the phone, only to set up dates and places to meet.
From what I’ve been reading here on Reddit, premature texting creates a very false sense of intimacy. People think they are getting to know one another and are starting to “feel close” when they text each other in the very early stages of a relationship, but it seems to me it’s important to remember that you’re still chatting with a relative stranger.
This is a person who does not know you very well, does not know your sense of humor, cannot know with any certainty how you will be reacting when he or she sends a text about a certain subject… especially one that involves personal details or feelings.
In other words, it appears from what I’ve been reading that there’s a certain context that is missing, at least in the initial stages. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read posts here by people who say that our texting went really well and we became very close, but then after a few dates, he lost complete interest in me.
Maybe because as he got to know you in real life, he detected or perceived a disconnect between the person he imagined you to be from your texts, and the person that he’s discovering you actually are. This dynamic works both ways, of course.
For what it’s worth, the only people that I text are very good friends / well established partners who know me, people who will be able to know fairly well how I’m reacting to what they text me. Those are just some random thoughts for folks to think about and consider if you are so disposed.
He sounds interested to me, take the chance and ask him out again. Good luck, hope it goes well!
I don’t get what you don’t get
If a lady sent me that I would wait a few days for an invitation. One more let’s get together again, when are you free.
He sounds interested to me.
Ask him after a few days to a week shows you are also interested
Am I dumb? What part of that seemed not interested? And even if so what’s the harm in asking they can just say no instead of you never asking and never knowing.
I’m so confused. He had a great time. He’d love to do something again. What about this is confusing you? I feel like you are really overthinking this.
He’s more than keen to see you again but not pushing things because he doesn’t want to scare you away.
Like minded is a nice way to feel after that first date, perhaps you could take the initiative this time. I’d wager his confidence to reciprocate would grow from there on in.
I’m curious, how did the first date get initiated?
Seems like the start of something to me if you both had a great time and want to see each other again. Ask him!
It reads like he wants to see ypu again and you should let him know when you’re available to see him.
Ask him to go somewhere again in the next few days/week. He wants to, strike while the iron is hot before you both psych yourselves out
He wants to be asked, and he’s giving you the space to take your time before expecting it because he knows you’re going on a trip. It sounds positive. 😊
Definitely interested
i’d wait a few days only, before asking him out, or maybe he’ll think you aren’t interested. also it can be good – you can just keep the conversation going from that night, and text about some of the topics from the night.
but yeah…i don’t see how you could think that’s anything but clearly stated interest from him. why would you think that? genuinely curious.
He used “great” instead of “good” he said “a lot” of fun. He said he’d “love” to do something, not “like,” and he said he wants to connect “soon” not “sometime.”
Also, he used exclamation marks.
Those are all intensifiers. He’s interested and he isn’t trying to be cool and nonchalant about it. Stop second guessing yourself.
You have expressed your interest, sit tight and let him make the next move and text you. Don’t chase him
Pretty clear…
Hahaha I didn’t see how he seemed uninterested. I think maybe you might be not as interested and looking for anything to get out of it?
Sounds like he’s interested, I think you’re on a good path . Try not to overthink it
What is confusing here?
You won’t know until you ask.
I wouldn’t wait a week… give it a few days and ask him to do something. He’ll appreciate it coming from you and lift the pressure and effort of worrying about how much time is a good before he can ask you out again. He seems interested for sure.
Seems like he’s interested, but perhaps shy, he doesn’t want to sound too eager for fear you aren’t. Spend some more time together, go to a park, or other public place event, just talk and see where it leads
Ummmmm
“Honesty is the best policy”. Let him know you’re interested. If he doesn’t feel the same at least you dont have to wonder.
Why is his response taken as anything but just a nice, genuine response? Overthinking
Maybe in a week you ask if he’d like to go (xyz) sometime in the next week. If he says he can’t for any reason, just say “No worries! I’d love to link up again sometime, so feel free to reach out when the timing sounds good”. Then go silent. If he’s genuinely interested, I think reaching back out to you in at least a couple of weeks would be reasonable, or at least maybe want to text with you or even have a call. If you don’t hear from him in some way within two weeks, I’d move on.
I’m so confused am I dumb or are you? Did he not say he wanted to hang out again? What am I missing? Why are you wondering how he feels? Is it not clear?
He sounds interested and wants to see you again. He acknowledged you having possible plans next weekend (which means he listens and isn’t being pushy about making plans next weekend since you may not be in town). Absolutely reach out to him – even if it’s just a “how’s your week going” or to make plans for the following weekend.