Within the last two weeks my boyfriend 25M has said the following to me 25F after arguments:
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It was my birthday party and I was very nervous about mixing different friendship groups. He had gotten extremely drunk the night before and was very hungover/struggling the day of my birthday, so asked if he could leave early. To this I was pretty annoyed, and at the end of the argument whilst we were moving between bars he called me a ‘toxic cunt’. This obviously tainted the rest of my night, and I wanted to leave pretty soon after.
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We were having a disagreement about living abroad, and enjoying a slower pace of life abroad (for context I’d spent a year working in Australia). And at the end it became quite heated, I admit I was raising my voice and getting frustrated. He then pushed me off the bed (not with extreme force or anything – I didn’t fall off, but still) and called me a ‘stupid bitch’
I just don’t know what to think? He is a good person, and I love him so so much…but this makes me question the relationship. He’s never spoken to me quite like this before. Since I moved in a few months ago there were a few arguments which left me feeling awful, but not like this – it also felt like we moved past this. Obviously there’s more (good + not so great), but what’s the general consensus on this?
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Commenting. I’m curious what other people have to say because I did experience similar where my ex of 3 years got super mean to me and then would be nice in a cycle. We broke up about a month later.
This is an abusive relationship. The drinking, the insults, now the shoving, it’s only going to keep getting worse.
You know how many times someone can call me names like that? Once. One and done.
He is an asshole.
Best advice is to think if this boy will make you happy. He is agressive verbal, kind of physical, but not all the way…yet. He will become more and more agressive when life frustrates him or whatever excuse he will make. You feel instinctly that what he is doing is not the right thing, so it is up to you if you want to go on with this. But I think you know the stories of abuse here well enough.
He’s finally showing you his true colors now that you’ve moved in. It only gets worse.