So I just moved to the bay area 2 years ago and 9 months ago I met this girl.
I’m a tech worker. I love my job, think I do very interesting and impactful work & make a lot of money, but she seems to not respect my career– she’s in grad school to be a genetic counselor, and has said things like “it doesn’t make sense that people in tech make so much money when people in healthcare struggle”. She grew up in the bay and generally her and her family members seem to have some resentment towards people in tech.
As someone really passionate about what I do, this is bothering me, and I’m thinking of breaking up with her, as I’ve realized I have to suppress parts of myself when I’m around her. Whenver I talk about my work, she completely shuts down and gets visibly irritated.
Seeing her for dinner, think I’m going to tell her I’m dealing with this, and break up with her. The shame is she’s beautiful, smart, and a respectful wonderful girlfriend in every other way. I love her and her family. But… I don’t think this is the sort of thing I can ask her to change (or want to have to ask her to change). Originally when we started dating, she seemed to admire my career, but now, yes she just seems super resentful of it, and has this annoying moral superiority/admiration for healthcare. Low key feel like she’ll leave me for a doctor or something some day haha.
Anyone deal with a similar prejudice against tech, or your career choice in a relationship, and surpass it? As I think I’m just going to pull the plug at this point.
TLDR: GF does not respect my tech job, considering leaving.
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You sound insufferable and I too work in high tech lol
If you’re passionate about what you do then you can use that as a focus to date someone who also has passion in their own work. Passionate people rarely have time to put other people’s industry down.
Do you think it makes sense that you make so much more than a healthcare worker?
Imo, you should talk and communicate how you feel about it first. Tell her you find it offensive and you would appreciate if she didn’t put your career/life choices down. I get the feeling she’s probably feeling stressed and resentful and probably needs to talk it out. But sometimes you have to try to imagine how it is to be in someone else’s shoes. If she continues to put your career down after you telling her how you feel, then that’s a lack of respect and you can act accordingly.