I (23M) saw my ex girlfriend (22F) in public for the first time in months since we have broken up. She looked weak, pale, and frankly anorexic. I can’t stop thinking about whether or not I caused her to be like this. I ended the relationship because I felt I couldn’t make her happy and be happy at the same time. She did not take it well and struggled with my decision, pleading with me several times and crying to me on the phone. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I did. I eventually blocked her and we have been NC since. She did tell me that she had struggled with an eating disorder in her teens, but it never was an issue during our relationship. Did I re-spark her eating disorder? Do I reach out to talk to her? I feel terrible and don’t want her to be self-destructing. I don’t know what to do.
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Ok, so first, don’t blame yourself for your partner possibly slipping back into old habits. In the same way, if they started an addiction or self harm after a break up, that is not your fault.
Now, as for advice on helping her, you should avoid direct confrontation. That seems like it’d be messy and there is a high chance of it not being received in a clear or healthy way. If you have contacts to any of her family, they’d be who you talk to about it.
You’re not at fault for anything, and your job isn’t to fix your partner. Your responsibility is to be there and support them, but they should be able to fight their own struggles by themselves. If they can’t, they’re simple not cut out to be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship with the majority of people.
Yeah duh
Do nothing. She is not your problem. You broke up to be FREE of her mental health problems, and are seriously posting asking for advice on whether or not you should entangle yourself back into her unhappiness? NO. The girl needs professional help and you are not a professional. Stay away from her or you will sink both her and yourself.
I can feel the desperation in your words about how badly you want/need to help her, but please know this: she will never recover if you re-enter her orbit without re-entering the relationship.
Leave her be.