I feel like I’m often put on the back burner in my relationship with my boyfriend.
I love him, I do. I love making dinner together, I love meeting friends for drinks with him, I love going on trips with him, I love how safe he makes me feel. I love caring for him in general. But we’ve been together for a while, and I’ve noticed a pattern that’s starting to weigh on me. I often feel like his friends or spontaneous plans take priority over me. I try to be understanding, choose my moments to speak up, and not come off as “nagging,” but deep down, I just feel alone.
He tells me I should speak up more, but when I do, the behavior usually returns a few weeks later. A recent example: we planned a weekend trip for him to finally meet my family. Then a friend invited him to a birthday party on the same weekend, and when I asked if he still wanted to go with me, his response was “if you want me to” followed by “oh shit, I forgot.” That kind of thing really hurt.
I’ve told him before that I don’t feel prioritized. He’ll improve for a little while, but it never lasts. I love him but I sometimes feel like I’m wasting my time. I don’t want to feel lonely in a relationship. I’ve been there before. It’s why my previous relationship ended.
How do I have this conversation with him without sounding like attacking him?
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