I’m 31, male, and I have terminal cancer… Been doing treatment for over a year now. It’s been rough. Physically, mentally, financially. One of the only things that’s been keeping me going is this idea I’ve had — a trip. A real trip. See a few places I’ve always dreamed of before things get worse. I’ve been saving every bit I can for over a year to make it happen. I feel like that’s the most amazing thing i can do… see the world. see the beauty.
To save money, I had to move back in with my step family. Not something I wanted to do but it made sense. No rent means I can actually put money aside. The problem is my younger brother (23) lives here too. He’s an addict (not drugs i don’t think but he’ drinks a lot, plays computer games all the time and spends all his money in the games) and has been for a while. My family just looks the other way. They baby him. Make excuses. Act like it’s not a big deal.
Couple weeks ago I woke up, checked my account like usual, and the money was just… gone. All of it. Thousands. I freaked out. Went through everything, checked my phone, saw a payment transfer had been sent while I was asleep. He literally went into my phone and sent himself the money through an app. Didn’t even try to hide it. Phone has a password. I have NO idea how he knows my password.
I confronted him. He just said he was gonna pay me back. Yeah right. We both know that’s not happening. I lost it. I’ve put everything into saving for this. This was my one thing. So I told everyone. I showed proof to our extended family, his new fiancée, his restaurant job. I didn’t hold back. He ended up quitting his job and his fiancée might leave him.
Now my family’s pissed at me. They’re saying I overreacted. That I shouldn’t have ruined his life over money. That the bank or company might reverse it (they won’t…. I’ve already tried and nobody’s helping me, not even the bank, and I’m not in the US so it’s not that simple). The money’s just… gone.
They’re acting like I should’ve kept it quiet. Like I should’ve talked to them first. But no one ever does anything when it’s him. They make excuses. I’m sick of it. He stole my future. He took the one thing I was holding on to.
I will receive HELL from my mom if i try and press charges and be forced to leave. I’m the step son and he’s her biological son. I’ve generally been considered part of the family, but my dad has since died and i don’t have a full deck with them.
I need advice on how to move forward with my relationship with my brother because i’m feeling all sorts of conflicted. I am not looking for any le gal or medi cal advice. Please
Comments
I would cut him off.
I am SO sorry that happened to you and that your family tried to minimize it.
Focus on your self and your self care.
So – what do YOU need right now ?
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File a police report.
Report the theft to your bank.
I’m sorry this happened to you. You’re step-family are horrible enablers, insensitive and careless. Since their inaction lead to his actions then they should pay you back every cent. This is the one thing you wanted as you have termal cancer and they all stole your life and future from you. If they don’t pay you back, then you have no choice but to file a police report and press charges.
Who defends and covers for a relative who steals All Of The Money of Someone Dying of Cancer? It is monstrous. After all this and he still won’t give it back? You have the evidence – take it to the police. Totally Eff him.
File a police report. With the police report there is a good chance that the bank will reverse it.
Omg. Peace be with you during this awful time! Are any family members offering to help you recoup funds ?
I would keep my distance from the step brother.
You’re mad as hell and that’s only gonna get worse if you don’t manage to put distance between you and your step family! Pressing charges is the only thing that makes sense at this point. He stole from you! Like how will you survive now? He owes you his family owe you stealing your money was horrible! Will the bank cover your losses if you file a complaint with the police?? If so, you pretty much know what you need to do.. did he spend it all already is there any left in his account??
You cut him off and move on without him unless your pressing charges then get through that then cut him off and move on without him.
Blood shouldn’t be some magical “fuck someone over and they still have to like me” pass.
Personally I’d be filing police report and charges. He needs to be locked up. He is not someone you move forward with her is someone you burn it to the grou.
Your family is toxic AF if they are blaming you.
I unno bro, stealing thousands from a guy with cancer…. Not sure it gets much lower then that…
Also people like your step mum doesn’t care about right or wrong. They just want the issues to go away, even if it is wrong to do so.
Honestly not sure if be able to easily come back from this. For you to get past this with your brother it will take a lotttt of time and work from him to regain your trust. Time I’m not sure you have and work I’m not sure he has in him.
I just think you need to prioritise you even more so now. Keep everything safe as you can, do what helps your own mental health. Only hold onto anger if it makes you feel good, but hold onto whatever happiness is there as it will probably make you feel better.