I’m (18F) my friend is (19F)
Idek anymore, this girl has been my best friend for two years, i swear shes like my carbon copy interest wise, we find the same things funny yk the whole deal, well im bipolar and i go through phases as one does so when im sad i usually call her, she knows that, shes fine with it she does the exact same thing.
Well two weeks ago she got sick and we stopped calling, i was fine with it and i just wanted her to get better, well the whole time she was sick she kept going to her friends house and said friend and her would just yap in the gc about inside jokes.
yes i was feeling selfishly jealous, no i don’t expect her to have no other friends but after she was “not sick” i asked to call, she says “sorry im otp w friend from earlier” obviously im annoyed bc the whole time she was sick she kept going on and on about wanting to call me and speak with me which newsflash SHE STILL HASNT! She said the reason was bc “she knows she can always call me” but with her other friends she cant!
But now today she hits me with this bs,
“im gonna say something about the way i work with relationships because i really dislike it and i want to fix it” – her
“but i dont know if its commitment issues or what like
whenever i really love someone, or genuinely enjoy a specific person and i put so much of myself into that person i get bored every single time” – her
“and i genuinely think that is why i dont have lasting friendships
over the courses of months and weeks of me loving this person randomly some days something inside of me completely just doesnt want to openly speak to them” – her
“im fine with texting and sending eachother stuff and laughing and sending voice messages sorta but i just cant bring myself to want to speak with the person or want to have a genuine conversation” – her
“i dont know if this is like commitment issues kr what but its so hard for me to stay attached to people that i enjoy and love and put my whole self
INTO loving” – her
“Oh lol, am i that person in this situation?” – me
“right now you are and it makes me feel really bad because i genuinely do love you, nd you make me laugh, nd smile and all of these things just like you did before i did genuinely feel wrong SPEAKING to you. its not that im bored of you like i have been before but im genuinely struggling to find myself wanting to call you or speak openly to you idk” – her
“im sorry
this has been digging in me for the past two weeks since whatever in me decided this and i genuinely really dislike feeling this way because i literally havent heard of anyone else just deciding in their head one day that they just felt weird interacting with them its weird
im sorry” – her
“If you knew that’s how you felt you could’ve said that, instead of lying to my face.
Thanks for saying it now” – her
“i genuinely wasnt trying to lie to you
i only realized it last night while scrolling on tiktok and finding a comment that another person shared on a mental health awareness post” – her
“Its fine” – me
“ i do this to so many people and i feel really not good when i admit that” – her
And i didn’t respond bc i was just beside myself and i dont want to respond until my head is right because i DO NOT want to say anything that i dont mean.
im so annoyed, im aware its probably selfish to expect her to want to talk to me, BUT I ALWAYS TALKED TO HER!!! Like i’d wake up early as hell to talk to her, and even when i was about to go to sleep i’d hop right up when she wanted to call, and im aware that thats my choice and shes not obligated to reciprocate it but DAMN idk please just lmk if im being irrational and if there’s anything i can do to fix this because i really do love her (and she’s literally my only friend.)
TL;DR my best friend lied to me about talking and suddenly is bored of me, idk, what the hell do i say to her.