My husband’s family has never put in much effort to have a relationship with us. We used to live 30 minutes from them and they’d never stop by. We now live a few states away, they rarely text or call. His family didn’t show up for our wedding or to meet our son.
My husband is so used to them not putting in effort that he sees no problem. I’m used to family that puts in effort to talk to and see us.
The other day his MIL decided it’s an issue we haven’t taken our son to visit them. It would be a million times easier for them to come here. They don’t work, we’d give them a ride to and from the airport, and we’d give them a place to stay. Last time we visited them we had to Uber because nobody could bother picking us up from the airport.
Is this normal for one person to always have to put in the effort to talk and visit? All my family came to meet my son. Nobody expected us to travel to them. I genuinely don’t care to spend my limited vacation time visiting people who can’t text me once a year.
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Relationships are two way streets – they need to put in effort just like you to visit.
Are they in anyway medically unable to travel or just don’t want to?
They probably view it as they didn’t move away so they don’t need to travel, but that’s a them issue. Does your husband mind not visiting his family? Unless he has an issue with not going then I wouldn’t worry about it. They can stay mad.
If he does have an issue with it then I would say that you’ll only start traveling on a reciprocal basis. So if you were the last ones to travel then the next trip is on them to travel. Or he can travel to them on his own but I suspect that affects the time off you have as a family.