Obligatory don’t share.
I’ve posted on here before and always deleted because paranoia (and fear of ending up on those “reddit stories” tik toks).
My FMIL has been atrocious during wedding planning. Some quick examples of her behavior include:
– trying to force us to change our date
– calling my mom a b*tch
– trying to make changes to our venue behind our back
– causing tons family drama
– showing up to my bridal shower with hair and makeup professionally done (and dressed in white)
– telling me that I’m not involving her enough and that she feels like she’s losing a son
She has toddler-esque tantrums when she hears the word “no” or really even a suggestion of the word “no”.
Now that the wedding is next week, all of a sudden she’s so excited!! She’s texting about how she’s putting “good energy out for us” and how “it’ll be beautiful”. She’s texting about how much fun the dancing will be!
And I’m seething. She always gets to act however she wants and then flip a switch to “happy” while you are still reeling from her outbursts.
I’m really trying to be excited for my own wedding, but I’m struggling because I’m constantly afraid of how she’s going to act. My FH has been the one dealing with most interactions with her, and he is fed up and tired too. But her, she gets to be excited!!
Ugh I’m just so angry. I honestly don’t want to see her ever again lol.
Comments
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Your FDH needs to tell her that, after all her tantrums and attempted manipulations, if she “shows her ass” even ONCE on your and his (NOT hers) big day, it will be the last time she ever hears from either one of you again. And he needs to mean it.
I have a similar situation about hellish planning and her poor attitude. In solidarity.
I feel you OP, and this comment is just to lightheartedly share you are not alone. Sometimes it’s hard to tell where the behavior comes from… My MIL never said anything directly to my husband and I but also made it very clear she felt left out of wedding planning. She got offended when my husband wanted to consult me before agreeing to her suggestions and she assumed we didn’t know what we were doing since we didn’t ask her for help. She even kept telling people the night before the wedding how she had no idea what was going on and no one told her anything because obviously she should have been privy to every detail! She even went as far as to deny receiving the agenda I had sent prior and when I sent screenshots, I never got an apology for her either overlooking it or the original text not coming through on her end. She never asked about times we thought she knew about, and got unnecessarily frustrated she didn’t know everything. She even said the night before she assumed she wasn’t doing a first look with my husband since she never got a time, even though we’re pretty sure we mentioned it at least once and she didn’t ask! What is it about MILs needing to feel involved in everything?!
Congrats on your wedding OP. I truly hope it’s a day of joy and love.
As for her to be suddenly excited, can you check in with your vendors to make sure absolutely nothing has been changed? From where you’re getting ready to your flowers to the reception. I would do a final check of everything to be sure. Right down to your first dance song. If everything is fine, add a password for double protection.
Be prepared for her to be all in white. Just saying she is excited now because it’s close and she can make it all about her
Totally get it. She played villain the whole time and now wants to be part of the fairy tale ending like nothing happened. Classic narcissist playbook, create chaos, then bask in the spotlight. Be civil, smile for the pics, then set boundaries hard after the wedding. Let her “good energy” hit the blocked list if needed.
Ugh! Have your entire wedding party on full alert for any inappropriate behavior from her, and let them nip it in the bud! Also tell her that anyone wearing white besides you can and should expect a red wine shower, then an immediate exit from the venue! Good luck!!