how do i protect my energy from MIL?

r/

hi reddit, me and MIL are chalk and cheese… i struggle so much in her company, she’s an entirely suffocating presence with no social skills or worldliness and she drains me. i was just with the in-laws this weekend and the whole time i felt physically sick/had a poorly belly and i do believe it’s a manifestation of all the negativity… i always end up incredibly depressed when i go and my body aches were so bad today i couldn’t even make it into work. how do i protect my energy? she just seems to drag me down, nothing overtly horrible there but every story has a negative spin… i wouldn’t do that, i wouldn’t eat this, everything is a problem… any time i do anything that goes against her understanding, like going away on holiday by myself, she throws me a filthy look and drags me for it rather than just applauding my independence… she’s an incredibly small-minded person who can’t accept her son has left home and is just filled with so much anger, i can’t bear to be around her. any time i’ve ever met anyone who drains my energy this much, i distance myself, but i always have to turn up to events/weekends at theirs etc for my partners sake and to keep her from getting mad. how do i rise above it?

Comments

  1. botinlaw Avatar

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  2. Scenarioing Avatar

    “i always have to turn up to events/weekends at theirs etc for my partners sake and to keep her from getting mad. how do i rise above it?”

    —By realizing that you don’t ACTUALLY have to.

  3. wemustsetsail Avatar

    I agree with this 10000%

    It’s so challenging. I feel so much dread anytime I know I have to speak with or be around them.