Hi everyone! So my boyfriend shared some exciting news that he’s hoping to propose soon so we just went to look at rings this past weekend.
I would love to hear about experiences you all have had when it came to dealing with your MILs during this time period.
It’s been a week and I can already tell this will be an interesting experience.
Boyfriend was outside helping his father while FMIL and I were sitting on the couch since we were visiting them. She starts talking to me and says, “can I help plan the wedding?” And I said “maybe” – I was shocked I didn’t immediately say “of course!” Because I’m a recovering people pleaser. But guys this wedding will be the vision little me wanted and not what his mother thinks is best.
I was also shocked because my own parents don’t even know we looked at rings. It was a very prelimary trip and I told my bf I expect him to have a proper sit down with my father to tell him that this is what he is planning.
But FMIL went on and on about the venues she knows and started showing me pics of decor from a wedding she just went to and how she’d like to have real flowers at my wedding and that the wedding should be next summer. I straight up said I don’t want real flowers and I’ve been planning my wedding since I was a little girl so this will all be on my timeline. (Also because my bf has no idea what happens during our religious ceremonies so it’s not like he care all that much about the details like I do).
I immediately told my BF on the drive back home and he said not to worry, I’ll have the wedding I want. But I just know she’s gonna be trying to dictate.
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Sounds like she wants to be the bride at this wedding. You absolutely need to have a conversation with your fiancé and then all together. This is a once in a lifetime experience for you, it’s important that you do it how you want!
If you let her have her way now, you will be unhappy, AND she will continue to push her way for the rest of her life. You need to be adults and take back the control.
Don’t share your plans with her ahead of time.
The biggest mistake I made was not having my fiancé shut that shit down early. My FMIL only wanted to control everything. I basically grey rocked and she flipped out on me and we haven’t spoken lol
Moral of the story — hold and communicate the boundary through your fiance if you don’t want her involved. These women need to realize they aren’t at the center of their son’s lives anymore.