Sigh, im not even sure if turning to this forum will help or if I need to be speaking to a therapist but thought I’d try to ask you all.
I have a straight up crazy mil, who plays fake niceties in front of her husband and son (my husband) but honestly I can see through it. She’s subtle tho with her words and manipulative in such a way that her son cannot catch it but I, as an outsider along with my mother definitely see it. Unfortunately, my husband is from a culture/family dynamic where he has been so pressured to listen to what his parents say, to not disappoint his parents, to not hurt his mom in anyway that honestly he can’t do much for me. I know that’s a problem but in all honesty i don’t think he can’t or ever will deal with it. So it’s on me to deal with it and just to bear it. Because I have a child, and I do love my husband and our relationship. We live 3 mins away from his family and I have to see them every other day. God I’m praying for the day we can move but that’s not in the card right now.
They have something to say about everything about my kid. What he eats, doesn’t eat, how hot or cold he is, when he should go out to play, if he should play on the grass, if he should still have his paci. My mil is overbearing and overwhelming af. My question is, how do I deal with it? Like what can I say to myself in those moments where they’re being crazy, completely disregarding me as a mom. What strategies can I use to just f-ing zone out and be zen and just accept the crazy. Their obsession with my child literally irks me to my core. There’s just so much crap that I’ve rec’d from them so yeah there’s a lot of resentment but I just have to deal with it and bear seeing them and letting them interact with their grandchild. My mil msgs me every single morning asking when he’s awake so she can see him, this is her new thing. I wanna tell my husband how annoying this is but I know how stressed he is from work and life and I don’t wanna make it harder for us as a couple. He also may not even see it as annoying or understand where I’m coming from. So again what solid, real strategies can I use to cope with these crazies? What can I repeat to myself? What can I train my brain to do? How do I get through these days?
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