What are signs that a man is “dangerous”?

r/

Not in a movie-villain way. I mean emotionally, socially, or physically. What are subtle red flags or behaviors you’ve picked up on early that made you feel like a guy wasn’t safe to be around or trust?

Comments

  1. ApeWarz Avatar

    Displays of anger, resentment, etc. Little passive aggressive jabs followed by “I’m just kidding! God you’re so serious.” Also any kind of negging or pick up artist bs is a huge red flag. And finally, while confidence can be hot, arrogance is always a flimsy armor for the dangerously insecure.

  2. hailasushi Avatar

    closing doors or slaming car doors really fucking loudly: is aggressive, violent

  3. thingswhitechxsay Avatar

    It was a slow progress, early into us dating, but he constantly asked where I was and who I was with, what we were doing. He’d randomly show up wherever I said I was. He became very controlling and it led to physical abuse.

  4. ExplanationNo5595 Avatar

    If he tries to humble you, if he talks to much about himself and doesn’t ask you anything, if he keeps bragging about how much money he’s got, if he insist on the first date to just Netflix and chill, if he doesn’t text you back atleast within 24-48 hours or doesn’t have a valid reason for not calling or texting you back within a certain time frame, if he views gift giving as a means to gain access to you, if he makes you pay for all the dates, if he acts like one person in public and another behind closed doors, and those are to just name a few

  5. teachme767 Avatar

    Say “no” to something he expects you to say yes or go along with and see how he reacts.

  6. Low-maintenancegal Avatar

    All his exes are crazy! (Unaware of common denominator)

  7. languidlasagna Avatar

    When every woman in their past is a villain, and he has no idea why they’re all so crazy.

  8. aizzod Avatar

    Depending on their post history,

    Either op is an AI bot in training.
    Or has a small mid life crisis

  9. illstillglow Avatar

    The way he talks about his exes. If he’s pessimistic or “hates people.”

  10. olija_oliphant Avatar

    Emotional highs and lows all the time. You’re over the moon one minute, sobbing the next. It’s no way to live.

  11. bean-jee Avatar

    boundary pushing (this is a big one, you shouldn’t have to say “no” twice to anything), poor emotional regulation (angry outbursts over tiny things), proud of high risk behaviors, like boasting over how black out drunk he’s gotten or how he punched a hole in a wall. generally they’re just full of high-risk behaviors like the drinking, fighting/violent outbursts, driving intoxicated or speeding, etc.

  12. Infpizza94 Avatar

    They were born in a red state, the entitlement is insane.

  13. _FuzzyKiwi_ Avatar

    I always have to fix my “attitude” and actions but he never has to change

  14. kittypaintsflowers Avatar
    • not listening to your “no” even if small. If he pushes his will onto you and overrides you.
    • rushing and a sense of urgency about the relationship
    • making you feel you don’t like him if you’re not 100% focused on him
    • constantly complaining and finding negativity in everything (you should be able to have fun and be bored together without drama)
    • in my experience women change their names to avoid dangerous men who hurt them and men change theirs to continue to hurt others lol so be mindful
    • acting like they’re really hot or really desirable when they are ugly or have no job or other metrics society uses to add worth
  15. Dakovine Avatar

    Can’t take an obvious hint or read body language when someone is uncomfortable. Can’t take no for an answer.

  16. Niodia Avatar

    Moving too fast, love bombing, “whirl wind romance,” saying I love you and talking of the future(marriage, kids, etc) within the first few months, trying to move in before at least a year passes, all their exes are “crazy.”

    That’s off the top of my head.

  17. penguin_0618 Avatar

    If they say you’re too sensitive, you can take a joke, you don’t have a sense of humor etc

  18. RichCaterpillar991 Avatar

    Men who can’t take a joke and get defensive or pissed off easily are a huge red flag. If small things make them moody, it’s not worth sticking around to see how they’ll react to a real problem

  19. sh6rty13 Avatar

    HAS to see himself as the smartest person in the room no matter how educated or intelligent the company

  20. WhiteDiabla Avatar

    They downplay shitty behavior by other men.
    They deny or downplay the role of sexism in current society.

  21. Used-Moose952 Avatar
  22. ForgottenSalad Avatar

    Ignoring or testing your boundaries, pushing you to do things you don’t want to, inability to control anger, controlling who you can and can’t hang out with, or jealousy. If you add in external stressors like losing a job, or you threatening to leave, even more dangerous, statistically.