This happened yesterday so technically it’s a YIFU.. but whatever.
So here’s the deal: my mom’s a kindergarten teacher who’s never touched drugs, alcohol, or anything—ever. Then her boyfriend got her into smoking weed. Yeah, hilarious, right? The saint of ABCs and snack time is suddenly a stoner.
Yesterday, while she was at work, her boyfriend asked me to drive him to this vape shop (his car was in the shop). They don’t legally sell THC yet, but they do have some strong Delta-8 stuff. He grabs some buds, gummies, and other edibles. I’m not a smoker—used to try it as a teen, but anxiety hijacked my brain with insults like, “You forgot how to breathe,” and then, “You forgot how to walk, dumbass—now everyone’s staring at you.” So yeah, I steer clear.
Back home, he’s like, “Wanna smoke?” I say no, freaks me out. Then he says the gummies are “weak enough for beginners.” Cool, I think. Maybe I’ll chill and finally sleep through the night.
BIG MISTAKE.
I open the bag, dump a handful in my hand, and pop about 3 gummies at once—no reading labels, no “how much should I take?” Just chew and swallow. Like an hour later, nada. So I eat about 2 or 3 more that were left from the handful. Turns out these were 100mg Delta-8 gummies each. “Weak,” he said. Total. Lies.
Then, BOOM. I’m guessing the 3 I first took hit me because I’m in bed, completely unable to move. I want to scratch my face but can’t. I desperately need to pee. Can’t get up. Then the other 2 or 3 add to my already extreme high and I end up peeing myself, which I originally thought was shit because I farted and that’s when I peed myself (thank God it wasn’t #2).
At this point, I am so thirsty like Sahara Desert mouth thirsty.. & I want to cry but realize crying will make me more thirsty. My brain’s doing the absolute worst, throwing absurd thoughts like: “Your mom’s gonna come home and start a fight,” “Your boss will call and make you work,” “You’re about to be the first person to OD on gummies or your heart is about to explode.”
I prayed to God, promising if I survived this nightmare, I’d never touch drugs again—legal or not.
Then Mom comes home and wants to go out for Grandma’s birthday dinner. I start hyperventilating like a disaster; drooling and completely incoherent. Luckily, her boyfriend explains what happened so my mom doesn’t freak. They tell the family I’m “sick,” and couldn’t make it. Thank God for that mercy.
After a couple hours, which felt like an eternity, of battling my brain’s war against myself, I finally fall asleep for 12 hours straight.
TL;DR: Gave Delta-8 gummies a shot after being told they were “beginner friendly.” Ate 5 or 6. They were not beginner friendly. They were the most potent the shop had. Spent the night paralyzed, panicking, peeing myself, and hallucinating my own downfall. Missed Grandma’s birthday. 0/10, do not recommend.
Moral of the story? Don’t trust “weak” gummies. READ THE DIRECTIONS. Especially don’t eat a handful at once. And if you do, maybe skip the I-farted-so-I-thought-I-shit-myself-but-really-peed-myself part.
TIFU indeed.
Comments
the first time i pulled a whitey i was puking like lay over the toilet sobbing to my boyfriend cuz i was so scared i was puking so hard that i wld shit myself (i didnt lol). he thought it was so funny but i was so scared of smoking new strains for like 3 yrs
BTW, I didn’t know my grandma wanted to go out to dinner for her birthday then decided to take these and skip out. It was a last-minute thing. She usually accepts Happy Birthday phone calls and that’s all. I’m not an asshole.
There is no way weed gummies completely paralyzed you.
I do appreciate you sharing. “These Gummies Ain’t Shit” stories saved my ass a couple of years ago.
Long story short: after abstaining for decades I had a half a gummy; was considering trying more when it hit, and I was (pleasantly) incapacitated for eight hours.
I’m only familiar with THC, what is Delta-8?
I used to smoke and do edibles pretty heavily. Until I moved from a rec state to a med-only state, ran out of my dispensary shit, and decided to try delta 8. Worst night of my life, and I was a seasoned stoner. I quit then and there. Still makes me anxious to think about it. Fuck delta 8.
Ai is really enshittifying reddit. Crazy to me how few people pick up on it in posts like this
Delta-8 should be a lot weaker than Delta-9. So in theory, they are beginner friendly. But maybe not “fresh out the womb, havent smoked since high school” friendly.
PS – I drank about 1500mg worth of THC one time (consumed an entire brownie batch worth of melted cannabutter) and had 18-hour paralysis. But it was very relaxing and got some of the best sleep of my life that day!
I could never deal with the weed-induced cottonmouth, which IME ruined what was supposed to be an enjoyable experience. It’s why I don’t bother with it anymore.
Who picks up a bag of gummies and goes “okay I’m going to eat all of these”??
It made me realize how much is actually in the gummies I have though. One of these is 420mg
I don’t know how D8 compares to actual cannabis, but if it’s 1:1 you basically ate, like, six cookies’ worth. Took like 30 hits at once. And since it was an edible I am sure that shit lasted forever before it finally truly peaked.
Don’t ever underestimate edibles.
Did you use chatGPT to format this? Not judging if you did, I’m looking into how real people use ChatGPT on the internet, vs how bots are using it in the same spaces. I’m also trying to follow how GPT evolves its post format over time. This post has several major hallmarks of a GPT post, but also is missing several others. I’ve noticed more posts formatted like this that appear legitimate and I’m trying to figure out why exactly that is.
Also your mom’s boyfriend sucks. He knew what was going to happen to you. Additionally if the school decided to test your mom which could happen whenever for a variety of reasons, her career will be over.
I’ve never taken Delta-8, but who hasn’t had a “holy shit” moment with edibles? Like, one time, I swear my husband thought I was having a stroke because I laughed so hard at our dog’s antics. But hey, we learn from our mistakes, mostly.
Why on gods green earth would you pop drugs not knowing the dosage and already knowing smoking the stuff made u paranoid omg 😭
So I used to be a professional toker. I quit for 10 years because my job tested. Luckily that has changed and I can now partake again. Issue is I live in a state where it is still illegal. We used to go up to legal states to visit family and I will say I could pop 50mg of real edibles and not feel much. I am also a big guy so that probably plays into it.
Here at home a buddy told me about this one brand that works great. So I buy them and they are 420(hell yea)mg each delta whatever THCa + P and such. I took 2 the first time, worst mistake of my life. Yea half is just right, but that first trip had me obliterated for hours.
I had a similar experience on a way lower dose. I had some 5mg “sleep” gummies. Turns out I’m very sensitive to THC..
1 had me feeling a great mild body high. Two was even better, I had me become one with the couch, everything was hilarious, and I loved everything.
After a couple weeks of this, I was becoming desensitized, two felt like 1 gummy, so I figured 3 would bring me back to where I was before.
Nooope.
3 had me feeling like I was having a full body stroke, spinning out of control, and I lost the ability to follow conversation. Everything sounded like gibberish, but I was lucid and horribly aware of it being my own brain not working properly.
It lasted way longer than it should have also, by morning I still had problems following speech, and I felt hung over like I had been drinking.
I can’t imagine how bad yours was…yikes.
Your friend seems mad irresponsible for this ngl. You too but I think that’s mostly on the friend. I guess I wouldn’t know if it wasn’t preached to me, but you always start with one at most, and even if you don’t feel anything for hours, you leave it at that unless you’re experienced. People should’ve been looking out for you—those first 2-3 should’ve raised some eyebrows. You probably should’ve started with only half of one, if that. 100mg is a lot. Your friend is an idiot
D8 don’t do.squat to me..the homies think I’m an alien
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I promised God I would stop drinking while I was hung over throwing up in front of the toilet. Good times
Great story and glad you made a great recovery.
Gummies can be weak, like 5mg, but they can be whatever dosage you want. It helps if you, you know, read the package of the psychoactive chemicals you’re about to injest.
Pro tip, the medium of the edible, and whatever else you have eaten, can also significantly affect the high. I don’t like gummies cuz they tend to suddenly hit unexpectedly, while chocolates slowly build up so you can ease in. Have some food in your belly, that also helps give you a more gradual high.
Legality has nothing to do with potency. A few shots of everclear should clear that misconception up.
Also, delta 8 is a bit harsher of a high than delta 9 tends to be
Tell your mom to get rid of this person, who could have easily caused, God forbid, a much more serious reaction in you. He’s of no use either to her or you.
Delta 8 is trash.
Just for convo, 10mg a piece (100mg for 10 packs) is a “standard” dose of Delta9. While 8 may be a touch less potent, that math doesn’t add up to a good time.
I started laughing when I saw “handful of gummies.” I have a couple of those stories.
BTW if you EVER see “THCp” in the ingredients even a little bit take with caution. I had 4mg of that in a gummy and wound up so baked I couldn’t even crawl. This is not a figure of speech. I literally couldn’t crawl.
Not a fun time. I wound up lying on the hard floor pondering my life decisions for hours.
I’m sorry OP, but as a lifelong stoner, I’m cracking the FUCK up over here. Welcome to the party, rookie! 😂
Never eat edibles without reading the label, and never EVER assume something ain’t shit 😂
Ah yes, the ever popular too-many-edibles LARP
There are some people that cannot handle cannabis. It caused psychosis in my mother.
1/2 to 1 gummy is all I’d ever let a new person start off with, dude who suggested you try them was not very responsible
It’s like looking in a mirror 😄
I had a very similar experience on “weak” gummies. They destroyed me. And I’ve smoked weed for a significant portion of my life.
I had the water drinking. Frank about 20 glasses of water. Kept trying to pee but couldn’t. Basic psychosis stuff. Pressure kept getting worse. Couldn’t think couldn’t move.
Brain went dark. Thought I was dying. Explained to brain it’s likely a panic attack and it would pass. Brain wasn’t fussed. Wanted to jump out window. Kept cycling to death. End it all. Really horrible experience with flashback the next day. Lasted 12 hours.
Worst experience of my life. Gummies. Oooft. Haven’t tried one since.