People generally have sex with those that they are close to and rarely have sex with those they are not close to. This is how things work. It may lead to poor results, or it may not. The things you regret will fade in time, but the what ifs will haunt you forever.
Excluding the obvious “my partner is my best friend so that’s all I do”
It’s usually a very bad idea and you should only do it if you’re okay with the friendship ending or at least significantly changing, because that is extremely likely to occur.
Have been there a couple of times. Still friends with pretty much all of them. Guess I was lucky. If everyone is an adult about it and doesn’t get weird or clingy it can work out just fine. Who knows, maybe you even get a working relationship out of it. Being friends is not a bad place to start one, you already like and know each other.
One of you will eventually develop feelings, even if you are both sure it won’t happen, so it’s dangerous and can definitely be a friendship ender if you’re not careful
She got a boyfriend and that was the end of it, but it really was fun while it lasted 😩
If you’re both wanting it and have clear communication then do it. I had a sexual relationship with my best friend for years and that was just it. We didn’t catch feelings and we both were aware that we wouldn’t work beyond sex and friendship so it was fine and there’s no regrets. When I found my now fiancé we stopped being sexual and just stayed friends. He also found a gf and we’re all friends now and we all know that me and him used to bang lol.
It mostly depends on your age and expectations. If you are teens/20s do it. The odds of a lasting friendship are not at all diminished and you will probably make good memories. 30s and 40s, it gets a bit more complicated, have you been friends for 20 years? Not worth it. Have you become fast friends or work friends? Do it. There is rarely a downside. But don’t risk what is already a long-term relationship just to get your genitals played with. Unless you have the hard conversation first…
I did this years ago—now she is 33, unhappy, and obsessed with me. She thinks we were meant to be together and finds she cannot be as comfortable with anyone else as she was with me.
But I eventually married and had three children. The last time I saw her, it was still very friendly, but she always gave me those eyes when it was time to leave, and I knew I was playing a dangerous game with my established life.
So, I don’t know if it’s the best move. Had she spent her 18-25 years dating around and not given it all to me, she may not be so resentful. The thing is, even though it was friends with benefits for me, it can often lead to much deeper feelings.
It’s playing with fire… but sometimes, fire is exactly what you need.
Sex with a friend can be incredible .. the trust, the ease, the history. Bodies already know how to laugh together, so when they touch, it’s not just heat… it’s comfort tangled up.
But once you’ve seen each other like that, it’s hard to go back. Either the bond deepens or the line blurs beyond repair.
So yeah ..worth it, if both know what they’re walking into. And if you can kiss them and still look them in the eye the next morning? Maybe you were meant to cross that line.
I’m for it.
Generally speaking, ~97% of my friends over the years have not agreed. Or, not agreed when I am the friend in question.
But that 3% or so makes it not emotionally devastating.
I slept with a close friend of mine, and we both decided to end it after 3/4 times. Our relationship didn’t change when we stopped. It didnt feel right, and we enjoyed each other’s company. We drunk flirted here and there.
Our relationship changed when my close friend started seeing someone who was uncomfortable with our relationship given that we slept with each other.
Too much risk if I really value the friendship. We’re still loose friends but I wrecked a very close friendship this way when we went fwb and she caught feelings. I even wanted to have feelings for her, but the spark just wasn’t there on my end. That reallllly sucked, we didn’t talk again for a couple years.
100% Worth it. We live together now. I love her so fucking much and she mentioned marriage recently.
I’ve hooked up with platonic best friends twice in the past. And even though it didn’t turn into a romantic relationship I still got laid. So it’s completely worth it in my opinion.
Just don’t be a coward and be up front about how you feel about the whole thing. Having completely open and honest communication will make everything about it so much easier.
It introduced a really weird power dynamic into our friendship and ultimately ruined a great friendship.
Our intentions were verbally clear to start, but she “caught feelings” (had them the entire time) and lied about it. Made me feel like I was using her and it’s been tough to live with. Her mother trusted me, invited me to family dinners and get togethers because we were two broke college kids who hung out every day and were like brother and sister. Breaks my heart thinking about how I lost someone so close but ultimately, the sex was awesome. But the friendship meant more.
I had a drunken night of sex with a close female friend, the next morning felt really weird, like nervous laughing and both in a hurry to get on with our day separately.
I was gutted because I’d thought it had ruined our friendship but over a few weeks we started getting back into the old routine of meeting up with our friends group and we just continued as if it never happened.
A few months later it nearly happened again but we both agreed to not cross that line again, we both believe if we had met as a date kind of set up we’d probably have a great relationship as we’re almost the same person and get on great but a few years of friendship made it feel odd and we didn’t want the risk of both losing a best friend.
Depends on if you’re on the same wavelength in terms of what it means and doesn’t mean. You don’t destroy a friendship by having sex, you destroy a friendship by having different understandings about what the sex meant.
I had a best friend that started out romantically, we met on a dating app, we had sex during that phase, and decided we weren’t a match romantically. But we both agreed the sex was good, so we kept doing it. Any time one of us was involved with someone else we would stay completely platonic. But we were both single more often than not, so we would scratch each other’s backs when the mood struck. It was honestly the best friendship I ever had.
Worth it if you’re both single, both aware that things could turn ugly, and both emotionally mature enough to handle it. I’ve lost a couple friends that way.
Been down this road with a few different people in my life, all of which turned into very loving and fulfilling relationships…..until they weren’t. Losing a best friend and paetner at the same time when it ends is the shittest part. But as others have said, high risk, high reward.
My best friendship of nearly 20 years just turned sexual over the last couple weeks. It’s scary but it’s been super fun and we get along really well. I’m definitely aware of the danger here but I had to see, the upside is too good if it works.
Out of my top 3 best friend, 2 are women and I’ve now had sex with both of them. The other started sexual and ended up best friends after we both came to the conclusion it wasn’t going to work romantically. This current one started as friends.
I told the guy I only need one more to catch em all. Just a couple bros doing it, what could go wrong?
Hard to say-I had a really great female friend and while we joked about it never did. Her dad even referred to me as his future son in law, despite the fact that he knew we weren’t dating. We were friends since college and it lasted until our 30s. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship, but now it’s been 25 years since I’ve seen her. We married other people and wound up on different coasts raising kids and adulting with other people. I wonder sometimes what could have been. I am happy with my life, but still wonder “what if…”.
in college i started dating the girl who was my best friend in highschool, we dated for four great years then broke up, and now we’re right back to being best friends. so in my opinion it goes great. maybe it’s because we’re both girls
Everyone is different, but personally I deeply value my friendships and I wouldn’t cross that line and risk them.
From seeing other people do it, more often than not it ended the friendship sooner or later. It can also lead to issues with partners in the future as not everyone is cool with a friend around who used to be their other half’s fuck buddy – which is 100% legit.
I have sex with my best friend frequently. This has resulted in a deep and incredibly rewarding relationship but has also caused a lot of stress, emotions, and pain. It really has a lot to do with each individual and how both people handle conflict, emotion, and jealousy.
Its not easy to do and maintain a strict friendship but it is possible to maintain a very healthy and incredible friendship with the added complexity of sex.
As an advocate of fucking for fun, it can be great. But both people have to be on the same page with the same expectations of doing it for a mutual good time and not as a point of romance.
Comments
Obvious – it’s probably going to change your dynamic as friends for ever, though typically not right away
IMO you can get away with it once but after that it gets dicey
I guess it’s fine as long as it’s not man’s best friend lol
People generally have sex with those that they are close to and rarely have sex with those they are not close to. This is how things work. It may lead to poor results, or it may not. The things you regret will fade in time, but the what ifs will haunt you forever.
Excluding the obvious “my partner is my best friend so that’s all I do”
It’s usually a very bad idea and you should only do it if you’re okay with the friendship ending or at least significantly changing, because that is extremely likely to occur.
High risk, high reward.
I’m not into bestiality.
Never seen it work out. Might as well commit to a relationship at that point. (EDIT) this. Given the fact you’re being used. I’d simply say move on.
Did it, destroyed the friendship almost immediately and irreparably.
If you want to remain friends, then it’s a bad idea.
Have been there a couple of times. Still friends with pretty much all of them. Guess I was lucky. If everyone is an adult about it and doesn’t get weird or clingy it can work out just fine. Who knows, maybe you even get a working relationship out of it. Being friends is not a bad place to start one, you already like and know each other.
My own best friend? Probably not.
My Wife’s best friend? I mean, probably not also
EDIT: I AM SORRY JANET PLEASE COME HOME
depends entirely on you and the other person.
I have some friends i could never have sex with because it would make it heaps weird.
I have had sex with some friends and it be absolutely fine, we are still friends to this day it was no different then giving them a high five lol.
I tried it
One of you will eventually develop feelings, even if you are both sure it won’t happen, so it’s dangerous and can definitely be a friendship ender if you’re not careful
She got a boyfriend and that was the end of it, but it really was fun while it lasted 😩
If the moment is right and it happens organically then yea sure
More people should do it. If you’re sexually attracted to your best friend then I cannot think of a better spouse.
If you’re both wanting it and have clear communication then do it. I had a sexual relationship with my best friend for years and that was just it. We didn’t catch feelings and we both were aware that we wouldn’t work beyond sex and friendship so it was fine and there’s no regrets. When I found my now fiancé we stopped being sexual and just stayed friends. He also found a gf and we’re all friends now and we all know that me and him used to bang lol.
It’s risky. Can be done, but it is risky.
I’ve done it, and it worked out fine. And we’re still friends. But there was definitely a “Let’s promise not to let this be weird” talk.
There’s basically 3 ways if goes:
y’all are getting married. Not a bad thing to get married to your best friend.
it happens exactly once and you never talk about it again.
things end eventually and you’ve lost your best friend.
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I don’t see why not. Shouldn’t be risky. Easily just an experiment. Carry on if it works, go back to friends if it doesn’t.
Been there done that
We were both bored one day, sat joking about our experiences and before we knew it her panties were off and my tongue was inside her
I married my best friends sister so I don’t think she’d be very happy about it.
It mostly depends on your age and expectations. If you are teens/20s do it. The odds of a lasting friendship are not at all diminished and you will probably make good memories. 30s and 40s, it gets a bit more complicated, have you been friends for 20 years? Not worth it. Have you become fast friends or work friends? Do it. There is rarely a downside. But don’t risk what is already a long-term relationship just to get your genitals played with. Unless you have the hard conversation first…
I did this years ago—now she is 33, unhappy, and obsessed with me. She thinks we were meant to be together and finds she cannot be as comfortable with anyone else as she was with me.
But I eventually married and had three children. The last time I saw her, it was still very friendly, but she always gave me those eyes when it was time to leave, and I knew I was playing a dangerous game with my established life.
So, I don’t know if it’s the best move. Had she spent her 18-25 years dating around and not given it all to me, she may not be so resentful. The thing is, even though it was friends with benefits for me, it can often lead to much deeper feelings.
10/10, highly recommended.*
*With carefully and clearly discussed boundaries.
Did that once. Married her. Still married after 40 years. 10/10 would definitely do again.
I made a friend, she became my best friend, we had sex, 10 years later she’s my wife…
Sometimes it works out just fine.
It’s playing with fire… but sometimes, fire is exactly what you need.
Sex with a friend can be incredible .. the trust, the ease, the history. Bodies already know how to laugh together, so when they touch, it’s not just heat… it’s comfort tangled up.
But once you’ve seen each other like that, it’s hard to go back. Either the bond deepens or the line blurs beyond repair.
So yeah ..worth it, if both know what they’re walking into. And if you can kiss them and still look them in the eye the next morning? Maybe you were meant to cross that line.
Did that once. Had an awesome FWB while I was in college. She is my wife now. We’ve been married for 18 years this june.
I’m for it.
Generally speaking, ~97% of my friends over the years have not agreed. Or, not agreed when I am the friend in question.
But that 3% or so makes it not emotionally devastating.
Fuck around and find out
I slept with a close friend of mine, and we both decided to end it after 3/4 times. Our relationship didn’t change when we stopped. It didnt feel right, and we enjoyed each other’s company. We drunk flirted here and there.
Our relationship changed when my close friend started seeing someone who was uncomfortable with our relationship given that we slept with each other.
Too much risk if I really value the friendship. We’re still loose friends but I wrecked a very close friendship this way when we went fwb and she caught feelings. I even wanted to have feelings for her, but the spark just wasn’t there on my end. That reallllly sucked, we didn’t talk again for a couple years.
100% Worth it. We live together now. I love her so fucking much and she mentioned marriage recently.
I’ve hooked up with platonic best friends twice in the past. And even though it didn’t turn into a romantic relationship I still got laid. So it’s completely worth it in my opinion.
Just don’t be a coward and be up front about how you feel about the whole thing. Having completely open and honest communication will make everything about it so much easier.
It introduced a really weird power dynamic into our friendship and ultimately ruined a great friendship.
Our intentions were verbally clear to start, but she “caught feelings” (had them the entire time) and lied about it. Made me feel like I was using her and it’s been tough to live with. Her mother trusted me, invited me to family dinners and get togethers because we were two broke college kids who hung out every day and were like brother and sister. Breaks my heart thinking about how I lost someone so close but ultimately, the sex was awesome. But the friendship meant more.
Sexual attraction doesn’t equal romantic compatibility, so keep that in mind.
Been doing it for over 20 years. 10/10. Would totally recommend.
I had a drunken night of sex with a close female friend, the next morning felt really weird, like nervous laughing and both in a hurry to get on with our day separately.
I was gutted because I’d thought it had ruined our friendship but over a few weeks we started getting back into the old routine of meeting up with our friends group and we just continued as if it never happened.
A few months later it nearly happened again but we both agreed to not cross that line again, we both believe if we had met as a date kind of set up we’d probably have a great relationship as we’re almost the same person and get on great but a few years of friendship made it feel odd and we didn’t want the risk of both losing a best friend.
If theyre your best friend, AND you want to have sex with them, why arent you together is the real question
Friends become lovers often, Lovers become Friends rarely
Depends on if you’re on the same wavelength in terms of what it means and doesn’t mean. You don’t destroy a friendship by having sex, you destroy a friendship by having different understandings about what the sex meant.
I had a best friend that started out romantically, we met on a dating app, we had sex during that phase, and decided we weren’t a match romantically. But we both agreed the sex was good, so we kept doing it. Any time one of us was involved with someone else we would stay completely platonic. But we were both single more often than not, so we would scratch each other’s backs when the mood struck. It was honestly the best friendship I ever had.
Life is short.
Fuck your friends.
I’m married, but if I was single and in that position I wouldn’t risk losing the friendship.
Win big or lose big in most occasions
Did it and it was probably my absolute sexual peak. She was drop dead gorgeous and completely out of my league but I was head over heels for her.
Worth it if you’re both single, both aware that things could turn ugly, and both emotionally mature enough to handle it. I’ve lost a couple friends that way.
Been down this road with a few different people in my life, all of which turned into very loving and fulfilling relationships…..until they weren’t. Losing a best friend and paetner at the same time when it ends is the shittest part. But as others have said, high risk, high reward.
I can think of three times that my next friend was a woman. We had sex and the relationships lasted years – the last one 21 and counting.
For a straight man, this doesn’t work so well if your best friend is also a man.
One of you will fall in love, the other won’t.
Outcome one: You get married
Outcome two: it’s awkward, but overall alright
Outcome three: You lose a friend forever and spend the rest of your life missing them
I have sex with my wife all the time.
My best friendship of nearly 20 years just turned sexual over the last couple weeks. It’s scary but it’s been super fun and we get along really well. I’m definitely aware of the danger here but I had to see, the upside is too good if it works.
Out of my top 3 best friend, 2 are women and I’ve now had sex with both of them. The other started sexual and ended up best friends after we both came to the conclusion it wasn’t going to work romantically. This current one started as friends.
I told the guy I only need one more to catch em all. Just a couple bros doing it, what could go wrong?
Hard to say-I had a really great female friend and while we joked about it never did. Her dad even referred to me as his future son in law, despite the fact that he knew we weren’t dating. We were friends since college and it lasted until our 30s. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship, but now it’s been 25 years since I’ve seen her. We married other people and wound up on different coasts raising kids and adulting with other people. I wonder sometimes what could have been. I am happy with my life, but still wonder “what if…”.
in college i started dating the girl who was my best friend in highschool, we dated for four great years then broke up, and now we’re right back to being best friends. so in my opinion it goes great. maybe it’s because we’re both girls
My wife is my best friend, so I’m all cool with it.
Highly recommended
Idk, I’m a guy and he’s a guy. It’ll be weird even though we say a lot of fucked up shit growing up because of CoD
If our wives found out we probably woukdn’t be allowed to go fishing.
When will women figure out that straight men are never your “friends”. Deep down they only hang around because they want sex
I would feel pretty uncomfortable since I’m not gay
Hard pass for me.
Everyone is different, but personally I deeply value my friendships and I wouldn’t cross that line and risk them.
From seeing other people do it, more often than not it ended the friendship sooner or later. It can also lead to issues with partners in the future as not everyone is cool with a friend around who used to be their other half’s fuck buddy – which is 100% legit.
It’ll either make or break the friendship, in my experience it ruins the friendship so choose wisely.
Had a threesome with my bf and my best girl friend, we all still chill. Depends on your dynamic I guess
wouldve beem helpful if id seen all these cautionary tales abour 2 months ago…
I have sex with my best friend frequently. This has resulted in a deep and incredibly rewarding relationship but has also caused a lot of stress, emotions, and pain. It really has a lot to do with each individual and how both people handle conflict, emotion, and jealousy.
Its not easy to do and maintain a strict friendship but it is possible to maintain a very healthy and incredible friendship with the added complexity of sex.
As an advocate of fucking for fun, it can be great. But both people have to be on the same page with the same expectations of doing it for a mutual good time and not as a point of romance.