Hi all,
My JNM and a couple family members are visiting next month for four days (staying in a hotel, not with us—thankfully). Last time, when our baby was a newborn, MIL constantly overstepped—showing up all the time, acting entitled to the baby, and making passive-aggressive comments. I was too exhausted and deep in people-pleasing to stop it.
I’ve grown since then and want to hold boundaries, but I still struggle with guilt and confrontation. Husband tends to dismiss her behavior as “jokes” or “old-fashioned,” so I feel unsupported in the moment.
Would love advice about
Sticking to boundaries without feeling guilty
Firm but polite scripts for limiting visits and baby handling
Getting my husband to back me up in real time
Whether to send a heads-up message before they arrive
I just want this visit to be manageable. Thanks in advance!
Comments
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Sit down with husband to agree on the boundaries that are important to you (example, visiting hours, kissing baby, meals etc.)
Agree on what will happen if boundaries are crossed. Boundaries without consequences are only wishes.
Will you both be present for all the visits? If you are alone – make it known you will call out bad behavior when it happens.
Discuss whether the rules need to be sent in advance. This may be dependent on how bad it was last visit.
Good luck