What do you think when Men say that they will love their Daughter more than their Wife?
What do you think when Men say that they will love their Daughter more than their Wife?
r/AskWomen
What do you think when Men say that they will love their Daughter more than their Wife?
Comments
Well it’s a different kind of love It’s kind of like comparing apples to oranges.
Don’t all parents love there kids more than anyone else on earth? I’ve never heard anyone say they would love there daughter more than there wife. It does sound creepy like that, but would assume they just meant it in the love there kids more than anything kind of way.
What’s the context? Because I’m pretty sure you’ll hear women say the same thing that they love their children more than their partner
I think it’s sad to rank your love for your partner and other family members like that. It would make me sad to experience love that way.
I’d prefer that to him loving me more than our daughter.
You can divorce your spouse if you stop loving them; you can’t (or rather, shouldn’t) stop loving your child.
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It’s common and natural
As someone recovering from emotional incestuous behavior from her father….all I see is red flags at a sentence like that. Never again.
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I would not stay with a man who loved his children MORE than me. Now, loving them in an entirely different way than me is obvious. I love my kids in a different way than I love my husband. I would not say I love them more OR less. Just different.
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My mom told me she loved my sister and I more than our dad. I assumed parents in general put their kids before anything and anyone else.
If my house was on fire and I had to choose who to save, I’d pick my kids. So I’d imagine it’s probably the same for him. Doesn’t bother me one bit bc my love for my kids is unconditional.
I believe parents should love their children more than their partners.
If it’s specifically daughter: weird. If its children: that’s fine. I would also save my kid over my husband if I had to make that choice definitively. I would also save him over myself, and want him to be saved over me. So our values align there.
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As a woman, the love I have for kids feels “bigger” than love for adults
I don’t even have kids, but I love the children in my family more than I love my boyfriend and I only see them a few times a year. When I have kids, I’m sure I’ll love them more than my partner and I hope my partner loves them more than he loves me
If I had to make a life/death choice between my partner and my child, I would choose my child without hesitation. The same goes for my own self as well, my child comes first. I love my partner, but there is no comparing the love of a partner to the love you have for your children. I would think it odd if he didn’t feel the same, and we likely would not be together.
I’m wary of anyone who pits women against each other in any situation where it’s unnecessary to do so.
I don’t really understand the question. Like if I had to pick. I definitely love my son more than my husband, but it’s a different kind of love. I made that person and fed him with my body. He’s more important to me than any other human in the world.
If my husband told me he loved our kid more than me I would be like… yeah fine lol. It would be a weird thing to say because I can’t imagine a context where that comes up lol.
I feel like that’s how it should be. Parents loving their children more than their partners.
It should not be a competition at all. Both parents should be dedicated to raising their kid well. Both should be fully committed to their marriage, and should be aware that it continues after the children are grown and gone, so it needs to have energy invested in it to sustain it.
I think that’s appropriate. Parents should love their children more than each other.
I think someone’s going to be paying a lot of therapist bills.
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As it should be. Love for our children is unconditional. You can divorce a spouse, but not your kids—they are the one constant in life. I fully expect my husband to always prioritize the well-being of our children over mine. That’s simply what it means to be a parent.
It doesn’t mean it’s not possible to love both but the love one has for their children is unmatched and incomparable to any other.
I see it as Im willing to fight my partner to defend my child if needed.
Makes me happy I don’t have kids (and wouldn’t get romantically involved with a parent) and won’t ever have to deal with that. Ranking love vocally to the people you love feels icky to me.
Wouldn’t bother me. I suspect most women love their children more than their husbands too
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I’m an only child, and my parents have always showered me with love and affection as a child (even now they still do). I know my dad loves me a lot, but the way he loves my mom is different. Honestly if he can compare it, I would prefer my dad to love my mom more than me. I told myself if I ever get married, I would want my marriage to be like my parents’ because I can just tell how much love they have for each other.
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Because they’d be sh*tty parents if they didn’t?
I’ve never once heard a man say that. I think it’s generally unnecessary to rank your love for your spouse vs. your love for your child, but if you had to rank it, I think it’s reasonable to rank your love for your child over your love for your spouse, in the sense that e.g. if you could only save the life of one of them, you’d save the life of the child (because if your spouse is a decent parent, that’s what they’d want you to choose). (I’m talking about children who are already born, not a soap opera “save the pregnant woman or the baby” situation.)
I have seen many men talk about how they didn’t know real love, nor how to respect women, until they have a daughter. Poor wife.
That a wife can be divorced but a child won’t.
It’s a given. Love for your child is unconditional. Romantic love between adults, usually not.
The answer to this question depends on the context, though when I’ve heard it, it’s usually been harmless
If a man is saying it about only his daughter and not the rest of his kids, that’s weird and emotionally incesty
But If he’s making a point in general about how as a parent he loves his kids more than his partner, that’s pretty par for the course with parents in general. The context matters heavily.
Nah my husband needs to love me the most haha everyone comes after. 😍
I’d be glad because so do I lol
Never heard anyone make that comparison, but I’ve always assumed that’s true of all parents. You just love your kids more.
Good. If I had to choose between my husband and my kids, I’d choose my kids every time. That’s how it should be.
I am a woman and I love my kids more than my husband. I never tell it on his face but I think he knows it!
I don’t understand why someone would say this, sounds like a weird thing to comment on. I can’t even imagine the context where a guy would announce “I will love my daughter more than you, wife!” Just super weird
All my female friends who have kids love their children above anyone else. Male friends have never talked about it, I just assumed they felt the same way 🤷♀️ Apart from one EX of a friend of mine who got jealous of his own kids cos he wanted her to love him more. So he kept putting her in situations where she had to choose. He never got chosen 😂 So yeah, they split!
That’s an amazing thing. You don’t hear that often. If anything, my dad felt the opposite and that’s something that bothered my mom. It’s a different kind of love but yes children should always be the first priority.
I have never heard a single man in my entire life say this. And if I do, I will walk away from that person as fast as I can.
That he’s an unselfaware asshat who regards his wife as a brood mare for his genetics. It’s an absurd thing to say or aspire to because your daughter’s self-image and relational abilities are hugely impacted by the way her father treats women generally and her mother specifically. So loving her “more” only sets up an unhealthy dynamic that benefits no one.
Honestly? I think a lot of them don’t realize how it might sound. Loving your daughter is amazing. But your wife is a whole human too — not just someone who gave you a child
It actually is possible to love your child more than you love your spouse/partner and it has NOTHING to do with it being a different kind of love. DUH. Of course it’s different but even then you tend to love your child more.
I can kind of see the intention behind this sentiment.
As a mom, it is easier to love my son than it is to love my husband. I am my son’s favorite person and have always been. He is the cutest, sweetest little boy, and we have so much in common. He also depends on me for so much, which is difficult at times, but has taught me a kind of resilience I didn’t know I could have.
My husband is a great dad and dedicated partner, but we are different people, which is normal and healthy. We spend less time together since we became parents because we both work a lot. We have had good times and bad through the years. In comparison, any bad times I’ve had with my son were just developmentally normal for him and not his fault.
Maybe my feelings will change when he gets older, but this is just how I feel right now.
BUT I know better than to go broadcast these feelings all over town. It’s so complicated, and not something I would brag to people about.
It makes me uncomfortable. Love for a partner and a child are completely different — one doesn’t need to be ranked over the other. If a man says that to justify neglecting his partner, it’s a red flag. But if it’s just an emotional expression of fatherly devotion, I try to give grace — still, it’s a weird comparison to make.
Never heard a man say it. Heard women say it about their kids vs. their spouse.
If my husband doesn’t love my children more than me I’d think he was weird af. I have two nephews who I love more than air itself. If I had a child I’d love them more than myself, my husband and on equal terms that I love my nephews.
Well, I love my kid too, so…great! There is no competition here. We’re both in it to give our kids the best life we can provide.
Men don’t usually say things like that unless they are confronted by a jealous new wife who resents the kids from the first marriage. Sneaking sususpicion that’s the reason for the question. If you were actually the child’s mother you would understand that. He’s SUPPOSED to love his kids more than you. I’ll never understand this shit – maybe don’t marry men who have been married before if you can’t handle being jealous??