Growing up, my mom never really did my hair. She has alopecia and finds hair gross, so unless I begged her, she’d just brush it and move on. I never learned how to do more than the basics myself and even for special events, I’d have to push just to get a braid or something decent.
Last night, I asked my friend’s mom if she could braid my hair so it would have some waves the next day. I honestly didn’t expect much I’ve gotten so used to rejection around this kind of thing. But she just smiled, sat me down, and started braiding. She chatted with me the whole time and didn’t make it weird or act like it was a chore.
I was holding back tears the entire time. No one besides hairdressers or myself has touched my hair in the last 7 years. I didn’t realize how much that kind of gentle care could mean until I actually experienced it. I don’t even know how to thank her without sounding awkward or overly emotional but that moment meant a lot to me.
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Backup of the post’s body: Growing up, my mom never really did my hair. She has alopecia and finds hair gross, so unless I begged her, she’d just brush it and move on. I never learned how to do more than the basics myself and even for special events, I’d have to push just to get a braid or something decent.
Last night, I asked my friend’s mom if she could braid my hair so it would have some waves the next day. I honestly didn’t expect much I’ve gotten so used to rejection around this kind of thing. But she just smiled, sat me down, and started braiding. She chatted with me the whole time and didn’t make it weird or act like it was a chore.
I was holding back tears the entire time. No one besides hairdressers or myself has touched my hair in the last 7 years. I didn’t realize how much that kind of gentle care could mean until I actually experienced it. I don’t even know how to thank her without sounding awkward or overly emotional but that moment meant a lot to me.
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I’m tearing up with you OP.
My Mom never really braided my hair, I did get it brushed occasionally but just as a “getting ready” brush. I was the one that learned all of the different braids and hairstyles and did them for my sisters. I can’t imagine what this must feel like for you.
If I was a mother that did that for my child’s friend, I would feel TOUCHED if you got emotional saying “thank you.” and I think she will too🩷
This is so lovely to read. Loving touch is so important and a lot of us have never felt it before. Gratitude can be such a pure feeling.
My Mother was very rough around my hair. I don’t know why except that she and her Mother had a fraught relationship.
You could bring her a flower, or something you can do as a thank you, it can be nonverbal.
Please tell her/share your feelings with her! You will fill her heart the way she filled yours!!!
Your friend’s mother sounds so kind. I’m sure she would appreciate hearing how much this means to you. You could get a pretty card and write her a note if you prefer, but it is completely ok if you decide to thank her in person and get a bit choked up. She will appreciate it either way.
Welp I’m tearing up now and I’m definitely braiding my kids’ hair before bed tonight 🥹
I was a drug addict for years, my ex and I together. We went hungry a lot. She wasn’t the type to cook, and, well, more often than not I was the one scrounging up the money.
Anyway fast forward a couple years and I was dating a woman and over the past few days been kind of telling her about my life (shits a lot gotta do it in like episodes lol), and she made me “black people lasagna” and it was so good I began to cry, I was at the point in the story where we were hungry all the time.
Anyway she promptly made fun of me for it to ice the tension and it was funny.
Pretty wild what shit like that can do to ya… An action that is to them a pretty standard thing.. is a profound display of affection or care or human validation to another 🙂
65M here. I used to do my younger sisters hair bc it made her feel so good (no mom around). As i grew older i realized how cathartic it was for me also.
You just brought back those memories, thank you for your post.
I remember a girl used to like brading people’s hair in school. It’s kinda soothing and really helped since a lot of girls had thick hair and having it in a ponytail or bun all day could be annoying.
My parents were never very demonstrative. My sister was born 10 years later. Any time I’d try to hug my mom or show any affection she would pretty much push me away, often say she was too hot. My dad was affectionate until I was about 9. I hit puberty at that age (yes, early as hell) and he wasn’t comfortable after that. My sister was cuddled and loved and often slept in with my mom. I wasn’t welcome. I went on a school trip, there were 6 of us in each of these cabin rooms, grade 4 or 5 I think, and we were having trouble sleeping. This one teacher came in, she sat between those of us having trouble sleeping. Just rubbed our heads a bit. Nothing weird. She was just kind. I’m almost 50 now. I still remember that. I actually ended up friends with her kids who went to a different elementary school in high school. I have kids now, they are teens. My son is always coming for hugs and stuff, my daughter is more of an introvert. But sometimes she’ll come in while I’m watching a movie and lay down to watch some with me. I stroke her hair. She sighs, and lays there as long as I continue. For hugs and other stuff she stays stiff or pulls away… but for this she’ll stay for hours. The teacher was a great teacher, I learned a lot in her classes, but this little bit of how to mother my kids is one of the most important things I remember learning in elementary school.
This is really sweet.
♥️ tell her how much it meant to you, it’ll touch her mom heart so deeply
My daughter has a friend who lives with her single father (no mom). She comes for overnights pretty often and she always asks me to braid her hair every single time. It’s much like your experience, with her and I just chatting away and laughing.
Now I wonder if this is why she asks me to braid her hair.
As a Mom, I would be happy with a thank you. As a fellow female, this is making me remember that my own mom was not big on the doing my hair thing. It just wasn’t that big on our family to have our hair done fancy. We are all big into cooking (usually cookies or brownies). I never got into doing my daughter’s hair up fancy. She never asked and I didn’t really have the knowledge for more than a ponytail, bun, or French braid. We all have really thin hair so that’s about what we could do.