We are NC with MIL due to years of abuse (rather not get into details because I don’t want the post banned). My husband aunt
(MIL youngest sister) used to be supportive of us. But sent this message to my husband yesterday:
Had a call from your mom today to chat. We were talking about Alzheimer’s. My friend has it. Your mom mentioned how happy your Gramma was when you would visit and she would hold your hand and also how lucky we were to have you visit Great Aunt before she passed. I just wanted to share this with you to show you that she really does love and misses you.
Thoughts? My husband wants to tell her off because she knows exactly what MIL did to us and what she tried to cover up . Should we just block? They seem to think passing time = all is good and forgiven
Comments
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If i were your husband I would bluntly and unemotionally tell his aunt exactly why mil is not in your lives, that niether of you are responsible for the choices she made and that any further attempts by Aunt to intercede on MILs behalf will not be received with grace.
if it were me, i’d tell her not to do my mom’s dirty work and block her
It screams flying monkey. Even if it is an original thought, her coddling of a SA coddler is unacceptable. Telling her off, blocking or both are warranted.
Flying monkey confirmed. This is textbook triangulation.
Notice how she skips right past the whole “your brother sexually assaulted your wife and your mom enabled it” situation to focus on how much your poor MIL misses you? Classic manipulation.
She’s absolutely working as MIL’s proxy. The Alzheimer’s mention is just emotional bait to soften you up before delivering MIL’s real message.
Block and move on. Engaging will only open the door to more manipulation.
Yes, that’s a flying monkey for sure.
It might not hurt to remind his aunt why you are NC with his mom, and then tell her to stop sending any communications having anything to do with her. If she pushes back – block her, too.
I’d just ignore it altogether tbh. Wouldn’t even be worth a response or block.
Definitely flying monkey. “You shouldn’t do the dirty work of those who condone sexual abusers. It’s going to cost you relationships,” then block.