While it’s true that people grow and change over time, significant exes—especially those who were in long-term, loving relationships—can offer a treasure trove of insight. They’ve experienced the day-to-day reality of being with this person, something no dating profile or early-stage romance can fully reveal.
Of course, one person’s dealbreaker may be another’s non-issue, and there will always be some bias involved. But dismissing an ex’s perspective outright, simply because of social stigma or discomfort, might mean missing out on honest, lived-in knowledge.
If someone shared a life with your current partner for a decade, they likely know things—patterns, tendencies, strengths, and red flags—that could help you make a more informed decision.
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In a society where everyone looks for a reason to bail, this is species suicide.
I second this. I want a damn relationship resume
You think you’re going to get an objective assessment of a relationship from an ex? Most people think they were right and other person was wrong. This would be a great way to get a very biased view on your date.
Yea no…
2 reasons i say no
A former friend would talk about her boyfriends like they were perfect dream men. And the moment the relationship ended it was all “little 3inch penis” and “abusive insecure and controlling”.
My wife’s ex gf tried to convince everyone she was an abusive manipulator and was crazy and controlling.
I dont think an ex is a good source of info
Oh god, so make it a full job interview with references and perhaps even open up the financials for inspection, too…
This is assuming the exes are reliable narrators. There can be many reasons why they may not be (ulterior motives, lack of self awareness, victim complex, etc.)
However, I will say if this was socially acceptable – one would hope that breakups would be more amicable and less burn that bridge to the ground style.
And just like with real resumes, most people would only skim over the dates and tenure!
Lmao I’d be so doomed
FUCK no. Once were exes I have no obligation to be a part of their dating life anymore, dont come interview me for shit.
My ex broke up with me becuase “i wasn’t there enough” or “not present in the relationship” or something like that. What that meant was that I wasn’t able for a phone call 24/7, and I mean that literally, she expected me to answer the phone at any given moment to answer questions about whether her nose was too big (a 2am phone call) or whether her cat actually liked her (she called me in the middle of pouring concrete). Those were some of the big hits from that bullshit. She’s actually a crazy person, she’s at a psychiatric hospital now so I’m glad my current fiancé wasn’t able to get ahold of her (also glad my ex is able to get the help she needs, cause in the end it wasn’t her fault)
If you’re a person who’s able to move on from your last relationship and have done the work to get you into a new place where you feel comfortable dating again, that’s like asking someone to talk about you two chapters ago.
I don’t like the idea of being held to a certain immutable standard of previous relationships. If you’re the same person in every relationship, you’re doing them wrong. You should be learning from the failures and changing the way you handle them.
What you describe isn’t all that uncommon though, I’ve discussed exes with their current partners before. The important thing is that in those cases I really didn’t have much except good stuff to say, I had made peace with the way things ended, the why of how things ended. There’s definitely exes where I would say “nah man I don’t want to talk about that” because I DON’T have good things to say, and I don’t want the other person permanently stained with my viewpoint of things they did/said.
Sure because everyone has the time and the muse for being involved in your ex-partners search for a new relationship. We broke up the rest is none of my business.
Not everything needs to be socially acceptable. You can just do it anyways.
Would it? Seems more like a waste of time. If you “interviewed” me on any of my exes all I would say is that they weren’t a match. Their friends would probably reveal more than I can
I don’t think I’ve winced and said “oh no, EW.” That fast on this sub before.
OP wants a instruction manual on their partner
My exes would just say I’m crazy while ignoring their own wrong doings
Yet another example why everyone shouldn’t have a platform to speak…..
This would work if relationships ended amicably. Very often there is resentment involved and people are petty therefore more likely to lie or exaggerate issues
That’s like going to a restaurant/stores direct rival chain and asking if they’re worth eating at.
You’d be wasting everyone’s time and energy when you could have gone on a date and found out yourself.
No, please no. I wouldn’t recommend even one person to do this, never mind making this a normal practice
As a corollary opinion, I think job interviews should give interviewees the opportunity to talk to people who quit.
That’s insane.
This is weird. Whats the point? Part of dating is figuring out if you’re compatible and happy with them. Why do you need to “interview” someone first?
This is stupid because I only remembered the red flags I cared about, not your red flags. So, I am gonna say all the things you think is inconsequential and then you discover all kinds of flaws I didn’t tell you. And then, you come back blaming me for not telling you about it. And I roll my eyes thinking you are stupid because those weren’t red flag.
That is one of the pros of being polyamorous. I get to see how they are in their other relationships.
Right. Exes can always provide an accurate and truthful account of how a relationship went.
Way to fit the stereotype of a Reddit user.
And thus human race was destroyed as no date ever happened again… Good night kids.
This is funny because my step mom did ask my mother about my Dad. She ignored my mom and ended up playing out the reality my Mom warned her about. At the end of the day. I have a Half sister I love dearly and that is something special.
This is colossally stupid. Sorry for being harsh.
An ex partner is the LEAST objective person to judge your current partner. They are far more likely to exaggerate any negative behavior than genuinely honest.
If your idea were to become reality, I can guarantee you that dating would be a completely idiotic hellscape full of people sabotaging their exes. Arguably much worse than the current dating hellscape.
Like really, take a second to think about what you’re suggesting.
Ahahah what a great idea. I’m sure an ex would be honest, measured and unbiased. No ill will whatsoever. /s
Honestly this is an unpopular opinion so you get my vote on that. I would love for my current wife to sit down with my two ex wives just so she could see the differences between them and her. I would not want to be in the room during it but would love to see what my current wife would say after.
You’d never get honest answers from most. I know somehow this girl i dated in the past after being set up by a family member would find some way to label me as the bad guy even though it was my bare minimum expectations that she pay her bills and be a law abiding citizen and generally act like a responsible adult that led me to dump her and run for my life. She’d probably say I care too much about money and might even call me controlling for simply questioning some monumentally stupid spending choices like spending $300 on a tattoo 3 days after not having enough money for food. I hope I never run into that girl while out and about with a date or girlfriend.
If this happened, nobody would date anybody.
I dunno man. I sure as hell don’t want anybody questioning my ex about me.
The problem is people are not fulfilling gender roles and are going into relationships for reasons outside of raising a family
The reason recommendation letters from an applicant’s parents aren’t accepted is that the relationship is inherently biased. Such letters don’t provide an objective or reliable assessment of the applicant’s abilities or past performance.
In the same way, exes are inherently biased, whether positively or negatively, when it comes to someone you’re considering dating. Their perspective isn’t likely to be very valuable in reliably assessing who you are.
Truly a reddit take.
Good luck with life
Not for my baby’s mama! Borderline Personality Disorder tends to generate bad reviews 😂 and random insane text messages at odd times for years.
they are your ex for a reason. their opinions hold no value in the present day. your opinion does everyone a severe disservice.
i honestly cant think of a worse idea.