This is something I’ve been bothered by ever since I turned 30 (early 30s now). Whenever I tell people my age, it’s always the same:
“no WAY!”
“I would have NEVER in a million years guessed!”
“You look mid 20s, MAX!”
“Omg you look fantastic for your age!”
“Wow you look so YOUNG!”
I get that these are all meant to be compliments. And I don’t have hard feelings for the people who say it because I’ve been guilty of saying the same thing, with nothing but good intentions, to other women too.
But the thing is, I want to just be allowed to be my age. I know that the intention is nice but I don’t enjoy the constant reminder that being in your 30s is considered old, that is women aren’t expected to look good at this age, that it’s SHOCKING that a woman my age could possibly look good. I think I do look younger than most people my age, that is true (I am mixed race and have genes that don’t show aging as much), but I also think that I do look my age as well. I don’t think I look like I’m in my 20s. I no longer have a baby face as I did in my teens and early-mid 20s, I have some fine lines near my eyes and forehead if you look closely enough (no Botox). My face has lost some volume and is more mature/angular, and I basically look like all the other women in my family did at the same age. I have been told we all have “good genes”, but this is just how we look, and I don’t know what it would be like to be someone else who looked different.
To me, I look like a woman in her early 30s. Why can’t I look good, in general? Why can’t I look good “AT” my age, or at ANY any age for that matter, instead of it always having to have the qualifier “FOR” your age? I wish people could just accept that us women can look good no matter what age we are, that it’s not shocking for a woman to be beautiful in her 30s and beyond. This whole idea that it’s surprising just feeds into the misogynistic notion that women have lost their worth, beauty, and value after their 20s.